Flat White

My name is Kevin, I’m from Queensland and I’m here to help

8 August 2016

9:36 AM

8 August 2016

9:36 AM

A simple lad from Nambour High can dream, can’t he? As my good friend George Bernard Shaw — I call him Georgy Shawgy — once wrote, “Some people see things as they are and say why?  I dream things that never were and say, why not?” My other good friend Robert Kennedy used to like to quote that …

Kevin Rudd’s United Nations dream may have been cruelly dashed. But Kevvie’s a never say die kind of guy. He’s like that other Kennedy brother, Teddy, with his “the work goes on, the cause endures, the hope still lives, and the dream shall never die.”

The cause, of course, is Kevvie, and the hope and dream is that one day he will finally receive his due.

Those ratf … The Turnbull government may have temporarily thwarted his date with destiny, but Kevvie has decided that doesn’t matter.


Instead, he took to the (web)pages of The Guardian Australia on Monday to share some of the detailed programmatic specificity of his vision for the UN. No doubt he reasons that sooner or later it will be needed.

And what has Kevin got to teach us? Well, mainly that he likes inverted commas. You can find “globalisation”, “fit for purpose”, “factored in”, “state-on-state”, “walk around”, “joined-up”, “band-aid” “Team UN” and “We the People” in there.

Inverted commas also surround the rhetorical question “Is anybody in control anymore?”

Who knows? And who cares? At the end of nearly 2000 words of Kevvie’s turgid prose one thing is clear. Actually, it’s clear at the end of the 20-odd words that precede the piece: “I will not now be a candidate for the position of UN secretary general but I offer these reflections to the next SG and to the UN member states.”

That monstrous ego will just keep lurching on. On and on and on.

 


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