Rod Liddle

Rod Liddle: why I’m supporting the #JustaTampon campaign

Why should Jon Snow be the only man to join in?

13 June 2015

9:00 AM

13 June 2015

9:00 AM

I have spent the last few days posing with a tampon as part of an international campaign to demystify the important issue of menstruation. I do not usually menstruate myself, although out of a wish to show solidarity with those who do I set aside five or six days each month to behave in a grotesquely irrational and bad-tempered manner, snapping at people for no reason and moaning a lot. As a man this seems to be the very least that I can do, an attempt at empathy which still recognises my privileged position as a male.

The campaign which I mentioned — and I would urge you all to take part in it — is called JustATampon. You take a photograph of yourself holding the tampon — either still in its little torpedo chute or liberated and held by the tail like a dead albino mouse — and post the selfie online. You can also make a donation of £3 to the cause which, I’ve been told, will empower women around the world. I’m not sure quite what it will empower them to do — go out and buy some more shoes? Sit at home with a box set of Wolf Hall? — but either way, it can only be a good thing.

I ought to add that this is a campaign led by women and about women and men shouldn’t muscle in and take it over — but a little bit of support would not go amiss. The eminent broadcaster Jon Snow has already posted his tampon selfie — looking very serious and holding the thing with its tail drooping down. It would not surprise me if other famous men, such as Stephen Fry and Baldrick and that actor who is married to Emma Thompson, are soon posting their tampon selfies on line. For my part, I put a liberated tampon up each of my nostrils with the strings hanging down over my top lip: a touch of whimsy which I think will appeal to the feminists who run this campaign. Feminists are notoriously good-humoured and ‘game for a laugh’, perhaps especially in those few days leading up to their monthly cycles.


As I say, the point of all this is to demystify menstruation and to ‘break the stigma and taboo’, as one of the feminists put it, which surrounds this entirely natural function. For too long now menstruation and female sanitary wear has been the subject of male sniggering, disgust and — frankly — cruelty. I have not been immune to this in the past, I have to admit. Until relatively recently I locked my wife in the garden shed during her monthly cycle and if a third party ventured near the shed, I would scream ‘Unclean! Unclean!’ and drag them away. I regret this behaviour in retrospect. These days Mrs Liddle is allowed in the main body of the house at all times (although obviously not in the kitchen) and permitted to see visitors, provided she is not in the same room as them. And I have constructed a special sink for her to go about her ablutions during the monthly cycle without polluting the rest of the bathroom with her filth.

With any luck, this campaign will help to dispel some of the misconceptions surrounding the subject. It is not true, for example, that all lesbians menstruate at exactly the same time each month, guided by the waxing and waning of the moon. That’s myth number one. As it happens, lesbians do not menstruate at all and become touchy if you raise the issue with them. Nor is it true that a child conceived during menstruation will be born extremely hirsute, dwarfish and with sharply pointed little teeth. That is just a myth, too. And it is certainly not true that women who are menstruating suddenly become illogical and incoherent, unable to distinguish left from right and lacking in all spatial awareness. Indeed, the reverse is true: they are like that the rest of the time — during the menses they suddenly become possessed of great clarity of thought and wisdom. And that’s a scientific fact.

With any luck, once the taboos and stigmas are broken, we can all move on. Some feminists wish the campaign to be broadened still further and hope that one day women will be free to change their sanitary wear in a public place — at a table in Starbucks, say, or by the bread counter in Waitrose, or during a performance of La Traviata at the Royal Opera House — without some antediluvian male becoming irrationally offended. In this sense, the JustATampon campaign mirrors the breastfeeding freedom campaign, as that is about another natural function which unaccountably offends some people when it is performed in public.

These days, individuals or services which discriminate against women who heave their vast baps out in public to sate the appetite of some mewling middle-class brat are rightly shamed by social media and the press. Even those who implore the women to try to breastfeed with a little discretion instead of stripping off to the waist and squirting warm and frothy breastmilk over fellow diners are rightly labelled misogynistic throwbacks, people who are palpably on the wrong side of history. We are women, is the cry, and this is what we do, like it or not. It seems to me only a matter of time before menstruation is seen similarly, with café and restaurant chains taking pride in being ‘menstrual-friendly’ and those who do not get with the programme cast into retail oblivion, hounded on social media sites and with demonstrations of furious women, and Jon Snow, waving tampons outside their premises.

There is still some distance to travel before we reach that sunlit upland, but with every tampon selfie and donation we draw a little closer. In the meantime there will be many struggles — mostly with unnecessarily squeamish men. They will carp and cavil. They will respond with puerile humour masquerading as satire. But they will not win in the end.

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Show comments
  • Feminister

    “although out of a wish to show solidarity with those who do I set aside five or six days each month to behave in a grotesquely irrational and bad-tempered manner, snapping at people for no reason and moaning a lot.”

    Just the five or six days you say?

    It’s testosterone not progesterone that’s the angry irrational hormone love.

    • Ahobz

      You are right, there should be a comma after “do”.

      • Feminister

        Well that and men committing 99% of murders and being responsible for 95% of fatal car accidents and shouting out like Tourette’s sufferers at random women and that.

        • Suzy61

          Yawn

          • Feminister

            Whatever

        • sarah_13

          Give it a rest, please.

          • Feminister

            Shut up

          • sarah_13

            I suppose I was just saying the same thing rather more politely. But why would you read the article? Just don’t read it if you don’t like Rod’s style. It’s satire. You know that going in!

          • Feminister

            Why did you read my comment?

            Seeing as you seem to want to and want to comment on it, it’s a bit unreasonable of you not to let me answer you.

            Where’s the satire?

            “I’ve been told, will empower women around the world. I’m not sure quite what it will empower them to do — go out and buy some more shoes?”
            “Feminists are notoriously good-humoured and ‘game for a laugh’, perhaps especially in those few days leading up to their monthly cycles.”
            “As it happens, lesbians do not menstruate at all”
            “they are like that the rest of the time — during the menses they suddenly become possessed of great clarity of thought and wisdom. ”
            “women who heave their vast baps out in public to sate the appetite of some mewling middle-class brat ”

            What is he satirising? Just sounds like he’s slagging off women to me.

          • sarah_13

            Because it came up in my email. Like I said we all know Rod’s style going in.

          • Feminister

            And now you know mine.

          • E.I.Cronin

            Oh Feminister, youre railing at the wrong crowd. Amgine has clarified that the project is actually funding on the ground work in developing nations – good stuff. But I agree with Sarah, getting worked up over Rods hilarious piece is like walking into a Hooters bar and asking to speak to the Womens Studies Liason Officer! Must say Ive been torn over how to spend my hard earned magazine sub $$… Celebrity Weekly; VIZ or The Spectator. With Brendan Oneill and Rod aboard I get all 3 in 1!! heh.

          • rodliddle

            Do you not understand that I’m satirising male attitudes and ignorance too? Or did you just fail to read those bits?

          • Des Demona

            “Feminists are notoriously good-humoured and ‘game for a laugh’,
            Perhaps she objects to ‘notoriously’? That can have some rather pejorative connotations.
            Maybe if you had written ”Feminists light up the world with their great good-humour, easy-going nature and stock of risqué jokes” then less offence would have been taken?

          • 2fishypoliticians

            You seem to be simply proving Rod’s satire to be true (“behaving in a grotesquely irrational and bad tempered manner”) Why?….

        • Fraziel

          Do you have any idea of the stupidity and hate emanating from your comments? Admit it, you are just another man hating femi nazi.

        • Shapster

          This “99% of murders are committed by men” style of argument is richly deserving of the word ‘fatuous’. How can any thinking person espouse this BS since all men are created by women from whose loins they slither? It is as fatuous an argument as the boast that every single invention, machine or technical advancement has been the work of a man or men…the wooly tights and sensible shoes you wear, the car you drive, the jet which takes you on holiday, your iPhone, your spectacles…..all invented / developed / created by the much hated wasp male. Most good things are the work of men; most bad things are too. Men are born of women therefore the problem is shared by the two sexes. But then I’m just a carrot crunching idiot from up north who pragmatically sees things as they are…there’s something in the water up here which kills all need for fatuous liberal wa*kspeak

        • Steve Moxon

          Femascist tosser.
          Nobody gives a flying f**k for your dinosaurial hate-mongering totalitarian wank.

  • Feminister

    “And it is certainly not true that women who are menstruating suddenly become illogical and incoherent, unable to distinguish left from right and lacking in all spatial awareness.”

    Tell it to the car insurance “s*x discrimination” court judge.

  • Feminister

    “These days, individuals or services which discriminate against women who heave their vast baps out in public to sate the appetite of some mewling middle-class brat are rightly shamed by social media and the press. Even those who implore the women to try to breastfeed with a little discretion instead of stripping off to the waist and squirting warm and frothy breastmilk over fellow diners are rightly labelled misogynistic throwbacks, people who are palpably on the wrong side of history. We are women, is the cry, and this is what we do, like it or not. It seems to me only a matter of time before menstruation is seen similarly, with café and restaurant chains taking pride in being ‘menstrual-friendly’ ”

    Heaven forbid that society should be female friendly, after all it makes absolutely no allowances for male biological needs and foibles. I can barely move without tripping over a brothel, shouty sexist journalist, bronze selfie, pissing drunk bloke or centenary parade.

    • The_greyhound

      I guess this is one of your five or six days. How do you manage to make them last the whole month?

      • Feminister

        You sound kind of irritated.

        • 2fishypoliticians

          Do I detect just a HINT of hypocrisy? Funny that…

    • lindzen4pm

      Don’t you think the ‘No More Page 3’ campaign should include ‘unless lactating’?

      • Feminister

        Another guy who doesn’t know the difference between women controlling their own bodies and men using them for commerce.

        • Suzy61

          I know a lady who uses her own body for commerce – and is very happy to do so.

          Wrong or right?

          • Feminister

            Wrong to sell, wrong to procure, wrong to buy.

            In the same way that black people selling themselves to a human zoo. Or disfigured people to Victorian freak shows. Or how people selling parts of their bodies for live transplants.

            Just because some people are willing to be objectified or abused doesn’t mean it’s okay to objectify or abuse them.

            We aren’t objects, and it’s not so very complicated.

          • Mr B J Mann

            So you’re saying sports masseurs should be locked up?!

            What about surgeons?!

            And should we also lock up women who demand divorce settlements?!?!?

          • Alex

            To offer oneself up for objectification does not make one an object.

            Your analogies work for prostitution, which requires ongoing physical presence, but not for pornography, I don’t think.

            Banning both will lead to extensive social problems: even if you balance it out by encouraging women to be “sluts”, they will gravitate towards the highest-value men only. Low-value men need an outlet and that is solved with the minimum of harm with pornography.

            I don’t see the need for it to be in the newspaper though.

        • lindzen4pm

          I’d never sell the milk, dear me no.

    • artemis in france

      If you want a club for women why not start one, dear? I’m a woman of 65 who used to menstruate and be unbearable for several days of the week. I also breastfed both my babies but didn’t behave militantly while doing so. Rod’s point is that the pendulum has swung too far and women just won’t accept that they’re not men and shouldn’t try to behave like men. Some lesbians don’t help at all but when Snow starts joining in you know the whole movement has lost the plot. It’s sad that British women in particular seem to hate femininity but love feminism.

      • Kath Gillon

        Absolutely artemis as a WOMAN of 50 I agree with everything you say. Suffrage used to be about getting a vote and being able to keep your own property if you divorced, having the right to keep your children, women died for these rights. Today’s feminists are taking it too far and it’s shameful they are dishonouring all those before. I don’t want to discuss my personal bodily functions with any man let alone the world, women menstruates we really Don’t need to discuss it in public. Thank you Rod I loved this article you always make me smile.

      • Feminister

        Women who want to breast feed whilst outside can’t accept that they’re not men?

        • Johnnydub

          Feminism seems obsessed with arcane standards of decorum for men but complete freedom for women; equality…?

          • Feminister

            When you say arcane standards of decorum for men I guess you’re referring to men not infringing on female liberties?

            And when you say complete freedom for women I guess you’re referring to men not infringing on female liberties?

            Funny that.

    • Jethro Asquith

      You sound a barrel of laughs. So for you it will be a life of this rabid ranting and then death.

    • logdon

      ‘a pair of vast baps squirting warm and frothy breast milk’

      I get it now.

      You’re Alastair Campbell reverting to the style of former employment.

  • fartel engelbert

    Bloody brilliant !

  • Feminister

    “Feminists are notoriously good-humoured and ‘game for a laugh’,”

    Feminists are no more or less humorous than anyone else when they are insulted, demeaned or otherwise pissed off.

    If you want to see lack of humour, try a white bloke faced with the prospect of not getting his own way. Suddenly their humour and bants go right out the window. Their famed love of free speech gets shakey when they’re the target, then its proscribed organisations a go go.

    You never see a feminist issuing rape and death threats at the prospect of their favourite BBC show having a male presenter because one of the female ones punched somebody in the face because her dinner wasn’t ready.

    • Vince Frank

      Is this comment satirical or underlining the point? I’m honestly not sure…

      • In search of a witty moniker

        It’s double underlining the point. I don’t think she does satire. Which yet again underlines the point.

        • Feminister

          This satire is pretty meta. Writing a purile faux satire blog to pretend to highlight purile faux satire.

          • Suzy61

            God, you’re clever.

          • Feminister

            Why does nobody have a sense of humour round here?

      • Feminister

        What point? That feminists are less humorous than white blokes when they are insulted?

        • Snibbo

          You might have a point about blokes but what has being white got to do with it?

          • Feminister

            Dude bros are the most sensitive of the lot. Ok’ Rod has a hissy fit every time anyone criticises him or does anything to stoke his perpetual state of victimhood.

          • Johnnydub

            Right – when was the last time Rod whinged about who’s on a banknote or what shirt a scientist is wearing.

            Then there’s the whole obsession with believing at face value the tall tales of rape-hysterics…

          • Feminister

            No, Rod doesn’t whinge about subjects that affect women, he whinges about subjects that affect white straight blokes. Incessantly.

          • 2fishypoliticians

            And you don’t show any whinging at all of course.

          • Alex

            Rod Liddle has many faults and many virtues but I don’t think he fits the definition of a “dude bro”

          • Jethro Asquith

            She is racist, that is what.

        • Suzy61

          White blokes again???

          What is this about?

          • Feminister

            Quite simple: white blokes make up the online misogynist hoard.

          • 2fishypoliticians

            That’s making a sweeping generalization.

          • blandings

            I always wanted to be part of a hoard!

    • The_greyhound

      You’re overwrought, petal.

      Have a nice cup of tea, and then get on with your housework.

      • rodliddle

        That’s very annoying. This comment made my wife laugh a lot harder than when she read my piece.

        • Feminister

          But as already been adequately established, your wife doesn’t have very good judgement.

          • The_greyhound

            Always a spiteful word for everyone. Watch you don’t swallow your own bile and choke.

          • Feminister

            See what I mean about white men’s famed sense of humour?

          • Suzy61

            ….and another racist?

          • Feminister

            Does that comment make sense to you?

      • Jay Igaboo

        “You’re overwrought, petal” ….. and probably overweight as well as overwrought.

    • Damaris Tighe

      ‘try a white bloke faced with the prospect of not getting his own way’: what about brown blokes, especially in Iraq & Syria?

      • Feminister

        Women put up with hate speech and ultra violence on a daily basis. Millions missing from world population figures. No violent retaliation.

        Homosexuals put up with hate speech and ultra violence on a daily basis. Tiny bit of violent retaliation.

        Brown and black men put up with hate speech and ultra violence on a daily basis. Fair bit of violent retaliation.

        White straight blokes see some feminist blogs with a teeny bit of hate speech, MRAs go nuts.
        See some YouTube videos threatening ultra violence and a bit of hate speech from brown blokes? Trident missiles, boots on the ground, Google censorship.

        • David Booth.

          “Millions missing from world population figures”?
          This might be something to do with selective abortion which of course is supposed to be illegal in the UK at least.

          • Feminister

            Of course it has something to do with that. Plus infanticide. And the murder of girl children. And the murder of adult women. But no ostentatious memorials or centenary parades for women.

          • David Booth.

            I would have thought that sex selective abortions, forced marriage, and so called honour killings would make excellent causes for feminist to take on instead of seeking out perceived slights from men. And yet there is a strange silence on these three subjects from feminist. Please spare me the usual Pavlovian accusations of misogyny because I can assure I’m not.

          • Feminister

            Yeah, well luckily feminists are taking on these excellent causes, as well as our own problems closer to home. If you find yourself with any free time in between not doing 50% of the housework and not earning your salary because you’re always on the bloody Internet, feel free to pitch in.

          • David Booth.

            Well I work full time, live on my own and do all my own housework. Shame I’ve got nobody to bitch to about it I just get on with it.

          • Feminister

            Don’t lie. You spend your time on comment boards for a reason. Bitching is your hobby.

          • David Booth.

            I see you’ve resorted to personal insults which is always a sign someone has run out of logical points to make.
            Sorry about the delay in my response what with work commitments and all which I suspect is not a restriction on your own leisure time.
            As the Arab says “The camel train has moved on leaving only the barking dogs”
            Good day and good bye!

          • 2fishypoliticians

            Speak for yourself.

        • MikeF

          There is no such thing as ‘hate speech’. The term is a deliberately vague formulation intended to facilitate the suppression of any argument or opinion that the ‘liberal-left’ decide they do not like by depicting it as insulting or inflammatory. There is such a thing as abusive language, but that is quite different and much more specific.

          • Feminister

            Don’t be such a silly sheep.

        • Lo Bin Sun

          That’s interesting, Feminister : ‘Millions missing from world population figures.’

          Are you referring to China, where, after the one-child policy was introduced in 1978, mommy and daddy kept bonking away and spewing ’em out till they got a son?

          So now you have millions, hundreds of millions of ‘unregistered’ girls.

          Care to comment?

      • AJH1968

        ‘Good God’ these feminists don’t know whether they are Arthur or Martha, bawd or punched, or eaten out by termites. Love the way they automatically absolve anybody with a dark skin or a medieval religion of any blame whatsoever (nothing to do with moral cowardice at all).

        • Damaris Tighe

          But if you read the reply to my comment, you see it’s just ‘retaliation’! Brown Muslim men, stripping brown Yazidi girls to inspect their bodies before selling them, raping them, beating them, killing them if they don’t comply – is just retaliation? It seems to me that this is the greatest example of men getting their own way, but she gives it a free pass.

          • AJH1968

            I think they should be outraged but they are craven to their very marrow (their traditional targets white male heterosexual are far less truculent). I think past feminist’s should look on their progeny with a great deal of contempt.

          • Damaris Tighe

            I do.

          • Feminister

            I’m not remotely craven in the face of Islamic misogyny or that of black or brown men thanks.

            But it isn’t Muslim, brown or black men who accuse feminists of not having a sense of humour. Because they get insulted by things which are devised to insult them. That would be the entirely hypocritical, wafer thin skinned white man.

          • Feminister

            Isis’ violence, despite their best efforts, pales into insignificance when compared to that of white blokes.

            My retaliation comment referred to race riots and anti-colonial revolutions. Something women have never engaged in despite equal provocation. That’s mens bag.

            All it takes is a series of feminist vlogs on sexism in games for white men to suddenly gain a “feminist” style sense of humour. Goodness knows how grumpy they’d get if they had to put up with what they dish out.

          • Ahobz

            “Isis’ violence, despite their best efforts, pales into insignificance when compared to that of white blokes.”

            Ah, punching a bloke who hasn’t saved you a steak is much, much worse than blowing up yourself and hundreds of others and throwing homosexuals off a building, etc, etc, ad nauseam. Glad we got that settled.

          • Feminister

            I lead thinking about trident missiles and that.

          • Alex

            Has nothing to do with men, everything to do with power. The world would not be a peaceful utopia if women ruled. Look how much of an incorrigible warmonger Thatcher was. She threatened to nuke Argentina!

          • 2fishypoliticians

            Your comment shows a totally biased outlook skewed by the lefty education system that refuses to acknowledge and accept the evil perpetrated by non white non-Christian-heritage people. You have totally and deliberately downplayed the evil carried out by is towards non Sunnis.

          • Alex

            You are both rather putting words in her mouth here.

          • Damaris Tighe

            Well, not really. There was no need for feminister to qualify her comment about men with ‘white’, when the prime examples of what she was saying were Middle Eastern.

    • David Booth.

      “If you want to see lack of humour, try a white bloke faced with the prospect of not getting his own way. ”
      Are we not being rather picky about not upsetting certain men?

    • gelert

      You should start a feminist movement in Arabia and see how far it gets you. Sheep and goats are prized more than women there.

      Suggest you read this book.

      http://www.amazon.com/Headscarves-Hymens-Middle-Sexual-Revolution/dp/0865478031

    • Johnnydub

      Generalising a group of people based on skin colour – Racist much?

    • Nick Harman

      I am sure men of all colours are capable of losing their temper.

    • The Masked Marvel

      Quite right. They issue death threats for other reasons, such as when gamers object to corruption and collusion between journalists and production companies, or when someone speaks up for men’s rights to due process against rape accusations on campus.

    • Suzy61

      Only white blokes?

      Why?

      • Snibbo

        Because white men should be held to higher standards of behaviour than men of other races? I thought those kind of attitudes had disappeared along with the British Empire.

        • Feminister

          No, because white blokes are the ones always droning on about how humourless feminists supposedly are when white blokes are vile to them, and then have a humourless sh*t fit when feminists point it out to them.

          • Snibbo

            I’m in complete sympathy with your feelings about blokes, but please answer Suzy61’s question. For example, are Japanese and Indian blokes less vile to feminists? Or they are, but mend their ways as soon as the feminists point it out? Or those countries don’t have enough feminists to be nasty to? Or you count them as white? I’m genuinely curious.

          • Lord Taliesin

            Dopey cows like feminister probably don’t live to whinge after gobbing off at non-white men.

    • Airey Belvoir

      A white bloke? how about a black bloke or a Muslim bloke? Or do they get a free pass?

    • Alex

      No need for the racism and sexism: if he’s poor, a white bloke has common cause with you and all other cheerleaders for oppressed minorities. The real enemy are the rich, of all sexes, creeds and colours. We must not allow ourselves to be divided.

      What you describe as a white bloke actually describes the attitudes and actions of an establishment figure.

  • Laura

    “They will carp and cavil. They will respond with puerile humour masquerading as satire. But they will not win in the end.”

    Unfortunately they are winning; millions of girls and women around the world leading thwarted lives or suffering humiliations can attest to that. Thanks for the support Rod, you’re making a difference.

    • Damaris Tighe

      Absolutely true, but I don’t know what difference western luvvies posing with tampons is going to make.

      • Feminister

        They are raising money to help promote female access to sanitation, education, etc.

        • lindzen4pm

          Are superloos that expensive then?

          • Feminister

            Yes

        • Amgine

          That’s a good cause.

        • MikeF

          Hopefully they will be more successful than all those who posed with the ‘Bring Back Our Girls’ posters after the abduction of those Nigerian school students by Boko Haram. Odd how little outrage that caused on the left – I mean they were black and female yet somehow there just wasn’t the furore you might have expected. I wonder why…

          • Feminister

            What kind of furore were you expecting?

          • Malus Pudor

            You are sooooo stooopid… the girls were kidnapped by radical Islamists !!!!!!!!!!

        • Dogsnob

          Which females?

        • Airey Belvoir

          They are also ‘Virtue Signalling.’

  • runningdog

    Mr Liddle; you have set me about my day with a smile. It is a pleasure to read your satire.

    • logdon

      Add in the free extras from Feminister and it’s spot on.

      • Sap

        Seems to me that men only have a good sense of humour when they’re bullying women. As soon as women retaliate they cry and lose their tempers.

        • logdon

          And you base your comment on?

        • Jefferson Paine

          You have it backwards. The bullies in this idiotic cultural play are the feminists (feminist used to be a good thing, but even the title has been ruined by inane bigotry). A lot of men (and many women as I’m sure you know) have begun to fight back – that is not bullying, that is defensive response to bullying. Expect more. Much, much more.

    • IainRMuir

      It was satire?

      Oh s**t, I’d better let my wife out of the cellar.

      • Jay Igaboo

        Q.How can you tell when an aircraft standing on the airport apron is full of feminists just back from a meeting in Lesbania?
        A. Half an hour after the engines have stopped, you can still hear the loud effing whine coming from it.

        • Sap

          Well when I look through this comment thread and just about any other comment thread on a major UK newspaper or magazine, it is dominated by men whining about women and feminists.

          • Jay Igaboo

            The usual sly FemiNazi response to any man pointing out their BS is to a accuse them of some personal inadequacy/ies, then tell them to man up and stop complaining.
            Normal women, such as mothers, instinctively realise that pussyfied men are not ultimately in their own best interests.They tell their sons, not their daughters, to be brave little soldiers and stop crying.

            However, male stoicism, normally a strong and positive factor in both family and society, should be suppressed when dealing with the eternal whining drip of FemiNazi and their male(ish) enablers.
            A feminist (or even most women) complaining about men whining is the equivalent of a politician complaining about somebody telling a minor fib.

            If you don’t like it, too bad.

            To quote a comment you made three hours ago to someone on this, “You don’t win wars without upsetting your enemies.”
            The sooner men hit chivalry into the long grass when dealing with FemINazi and women who are not FemiNazi, but who take every advantage of so-called “equality” the better for all.

    • Yvon & Barry Stuart-Hargreaves

      I still don’t get it, is it a health issue? Are some ladies denied the right to be on the blob? It seems a dirty business that is best kept private. How unseemly of the sloppy eater Mr Lidl to publicise this horrible frightfulness.

  • Yorkieeye

    Now pet, what would your Mam say if she heard you talking like that?

  • The_greyhound

    It would be helpful for non-C4 viewers if it were explained that the tampon is the one on the left of the picture.

    • Baron

      If it were not for you, greyhound, Baron would still be in the dark. He thought both were.

    • UKSteve

      Yes, but there is most definitely a **n* holding it.

    • NickG

      The caption should read ‘Jon Snow being a bit of a c*nt’.

    • anneallan

      A comment worthy of the Master himself.

    • ammy roy

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    • Neil Saunders

      Close to its natural habitat, pictured on the right.

  • George

    A work of genius Rod … cried with joyous old fashioned amusement as did my wife , who was at UCL in 1973-76 . We hope Sir Tim Hunt sees it this morning and that it cheers him up .

    • Yvon & Barry Stuart-Hargreaves

      Pompous snob. UCL in 1973 indeed. 1% er.

      • George

        Pompous ? Who and why ?
        Snob ? Who & how ?
        What is the ” indeed ” for as far as my wife having been at UCL in 1973 ? She was the only woman on her Geology course .
        It was a thoroughly inclusive place .. freedom of speech much cherished and differing views respected … and sense of humour generally present .
        1% er …. not understood .. but perhaps the other 99% do understand !

  • FrankS2

    Has Caitylin “Bruce” Jenner posed with a Tampon yet? If not, why not?

    • E.I.Cronin

      Frank! I can now answer this pressing question as I read almost all of the 1,200+ comments on Mr Caitlyn. Apparently Bruce’s… ahem… err… well Im not sure what to call it but you know to what I refer, only bleeds when it’s surgically re-opened. Which I hope for Bruce’s sake isn’t monthly. No tampon required! Thanks for the heads up about Bumpons though. Both Bruce and I are way past that age! As I said to Laurence – im amazed an article on what looks like an old truckie wearing Max Factor and a cream lurex girdle drew over 1k comments, while poor Rabbi Sacks debate on a topic that may determine the fate of Western.civilisation got… over 80?

    • anneallan

      “Caitlyn” is 65. Well past the menopause, and did not need them during her fertile years.

      • FrankS2

        Likewise Jon Snow! So Bruce is mutton (at least) dressed as lamb!

  • Feminister

    The Red Tent by Anita Diamant tells the story of Dinah, daughter of Jacob and sister of Joseph. The book’s title refers to the tent in which women of Jacob’s tribe must, according to the ancient law, take refuge while menstruating or giving birth.

    Offers an alternative to this stigmatising, sterilising sneering.

    • rodliddle

      Christ, hold on a minute, I’m not advocating sterilisation, poppet.

      • Feminister

        No, you’re advocating a sterile environment without the inconvenience of female biology. Never mind that it comes at a high price for somebody else.

  • lindzen4pm

    Presumably it was sent to Jon Snow because he’s such a ***t.

  • willshome

    So Rod Liddle is saying he has no problem with being a bloody cunt? About time.

  • FrankS2

    Brian Case, best known as music journalist, wrote a piece advising the health products industry not to ignore half its potential market. He named his invention The Bumpon, to be marketed as a tampon for men. I’m at least slightly surprised that this suggestion has not been taken up by the trade.

  • Andrew Smith

    I think you should retire now Mr. Liddle, you won’t write anything better than that!

    • James Magna

      Seconded! Still howling with laughter a day later.

    • Amgine

      If he can’t (or won’t) write anything better than that, he ought to retire. I agree.

  • The_greyhound

    My elderly edition of Brewer’s Dictionary of Phrase and Fable says that “Colin Tampon” is a colloquial name for a Swiss. While that does suit Mr Blatter rather well, I doubt I shall ever see Jon Snow again without thinking “Colin Tampon”.

    • Muttley

      Hahaha! You made me laugh more than Rod Liddle did!

  • Joseph Hooker

    Thanks Rod, I once woke up with a blazing hangover and a string hanging out of my mouth, I have always wondered what on earth had gone on the night before. Your article enlightens.

    • Airey Belvoir

      That sounds like a ‘I hope to God that’s a teabag’ moment.

  • rtj1211

    Mr Liddle, as one of the more rotund and less greyhound-like of the over 50s, can I heartily recommend that you go to one of the ‘Amateur’ sites online where women sell their nudity, their keyboards and their sexual fantasies to order and purchase a few nude pictures of a woman you have taken pity on and have decided to help her to fund her university studies (which she is funding by being a ‘virtual’ prostitute (i.e. she sells the idea of her selling her body to you (without you ever seeing her nude in reality, unless she freely chooses to run ‘camgirl’ services to that effect))? You will find that it will make a woman extremely happy and she is likely to tell you how great you look for a 50 year old.

    And as we all know, women always speak from the hearts of their bottoms, don’t they?!

    By the way, is this article being run now solely because, with Millwall out of action for 3 months, you have absolutely no societally-acceptable reason for being a bad tempered fat old git right now, so you have shamelessly latched onto a campaign you would enjoy sharing opinions with Peter Hitchens about in order to prevent dear old Fraser giving you the old heave-ho in favour of some dusky maiden with a way with words who knows exactly how to give powerful Scotsmen a tickle to their sensitive egos without breaking the rules of feminists never sleeping their way to the top?!

    • rodliddle

      I’m not fat. The rest of it is accurate.

  • Padraig Prendergast

    Trousers.

  • ExToryVoter

    Thank you Rod. This article has made my day.

  • David Booth.

    With Jon Snow onside I’m not sure women can breath a sense of relief. Wasn’t this the chap who admitted not going to the aid of a woman who was having her head bashed against the bonnet of a car? He says he cycled on because the man appeared rather paranoid, failing of course to phone the police who might have been able to help the young woman. Some allie, some man!

    • Airey Belvoir

      Whatever you think of Jon Snow (not much, probably), you have to give the man one thing. He has bonked Anna Ford, at her doe-eyed peak.

      • UKSteve

        Not much of an achievement, I heard.

        • Yvon & Barry Stuart-Hargreaves

          Blimey Steve, all the words spelled correctly.

          • UKSteve

            As always.

            Who dictated this troll to you? You really are extraordinarily pathetic, even by Disqus standards, which is really saying something.

      • Jay Igaboo

        Rather him than me–she had one weird, very off-putting jawline.

        • Yvon & Barry Stuart-Hargreaves

          Like David Coulthard.

          • Jay Igaboo

            Don’t know if it’s like Ford’s but it would be a deal-breaker for some women(and the p**f community , I suppose) if he wasn’t so stinking rich.

  • teigitur

    Which one is the Tampon, in the pic?

  • Tony

    “These days, individuals or services which discriminate against women who heave their vast baps out in public to sate the appetite of some mewling middle-class brat are rightly shamed by social media and the press. Even those who implore the women to try to breastfeed with a little discretion instead of stripping off to the waist and squirting warm and frothy breastmilk over fellow diners ….”

    (I’m a guy)

    There is nothing wrong with breastfeeding in public as long as it is done with discretion. Most women use some sort of scarf and opening in their bra while sitting in a secluded corner (the baby wouldn’t want to breastfeed in a place that was very loud and busy anyway). You have the occasional women who take the mickey but they are by no means the majority.

    “sate the appetite of some mewling middle-class brat”

    Babies of all social classes mewl and have appetites that need satiating.
    Why would you call a baby a brat? They are the purest of the pure.
    I doubt a guy who writes for The Spectator is “working class” so why deride the “middle class” of which you are most likely a part.of. Or do you have a chip on your shoulder.

    • Suzy61

      What you suggest is no different to what Farage suggested, in that it is not unreasonable to expect a little discretion, or at least cooperate if the establishment you are frequenting kindly ask that you do, out of consideration for other customers.

      Look what happened to him on a Sunday Lunch outing with his family.

    • rodliddle

      I have a chip, Tone, I have a chip.

    • Airey Belvoir

      Whoop whoop! Total sense of humour failure alert!

  • Amgine

    Rod, your piece should drive some traffic to the right place and hopefully encourage people to donate. Always provide a link to the source, particularly if you are profiting from it.

    http://tinyurl.com/ohtz68o

    The issue
    …Only 12 percent of girls and women have access to sanitary products around the world. And in Africa, one in ten girls miss school when they have their period.

    What Plan is doing
    Plan is working around the world to address stigmas and taboos around
    menstruation by talking about menstrual hygiene in creative safe places
    and through school education.

    We’re also improving girls and women’s access to sanitary products.
    In Rwanda right now, we’re distributing sanitary and hygiene packs to
    girls and women fleeing political turmoil and fighting in neighbouring
    Burundi. In Uganda we’re supporting girls and women
    to make recyclable sanitary towels. In India, we’ve piloted a project
    where girls can get sanitary towels from an easily accessible and
    discreet vending machine.

    • Tony

      “…sate the appetite of some mewling middle-class brat…”

      Turns out that the author is a little middle-class himself since he probably doesn’t even know that these issues exist in deepest darkest Africa.

      (I’m certainly no feminist sympathizer by any means).

      • Feminister

        Great to have you on board even if it is through gritted teeth.

      • rodliddle

        No, Tony, he isn’t. Or wasn’t. But that’s not quite the point, is it?

    • Feminister

      “particularly if you are profiting from it.”

      Quite

      • 2fishypoliticians

        Heaven’s sake, you seem to be at war with the world! You won’t win many friends being like that.

        • UKSteve

          What would feminist want with friends?

        • Sap

          You don’t win wars without upsetting your enemies.

    • gelert

      Bless !

    • rodliddle

      what is a “creative safe place”? If you dropped that fatuous liberal wankspeak I’d be with you all the way. Well, most of the way.

      • Amgine

        I was merely picking up the text from the link, rodliddle, try not to get too upset.

        I’m not entirely sure what a “creative safe space” is. Do you? Have you attempted to find out? Are you just getting upset about the phrase without actually knowing what it means?

        • Feminister

          Rod’s sense of humour seems to have deserted him. Funny how that keeps on happening.

          • Dogsnob

            Judging by the many comments above, it would seem his sense of humour is alive and very well. How’s your’s?

          • Fraziel

            He seems to have a great sense of humour judging by the article. And yes, the term creative safe place is exactly what he said it is, fatuous liberal wankspeak. Good on him for saying so.

          • Baron

            Your mother should have remained a virgin, Feminister.

          • PaD

            He has probably decided NOT to engage with idiots…rightly

          • Malus Pudor

            At least he has a SOH… unlike you, you po-faced boot…

          • Sap

            You sound quite po-faced yourself.

          • vieuxceps2

            If it has then so has mine! Bloody good belly-laugh.

        • Fraziel

          I think you miss the point entirely, you don;t need to know what it is to know that using that term is exactly as he said it is.

          • Amgine

            So we get to label things as “fatuous liberal wankspeak” when we don’t understand them or if we feel threatened by them in some way. Gotcha.

            Do _you_ know what a “creative safe place” is? Have you tried to find out? Do you think it’s likely to be a good thing? Do you think it’s likely to, at least, not be a bad thing? If Plan think it’s necessary and find using “creative safe place(s)” very constructive, do you think the label should be changed to be less “wankspeaky”? What label would you suggest?

            You can go to this link and sponsor a child
            http://tinyurl.com/8a39fy4

          • News

            How do we know the creative space is safe?

            Does a man from the Council come an inspect it and give it an EU sticker?

          • Amgine
          • wudyermucuss

            Gotcha. –
            No,not gotcha.
            “fatuous liberal wankspeak” actually exists,as your use of creative safe place so amply proves.

          • Amgine

            I merely copy pasted the text from the original site, which I’m happy to share with you: http://tinyurl.com/ohtz68o

            You’re welcome.

          • vieuxceps2

            Why not just learn English?

        • wudyermucuss

          You don’t know what it means because it doesn’t exist,like much of the other made-up stuff we’re supposed to nod seriously at these days over our skinny organic goat milk lattes.

          • Amgine

            We don’t have to merely nod, wudyermucuss, we can find out and support http://tinyurl.com/ohtz68o or not, it’s your choice.

        • Clive

          I did look for ‘creative safe place’ and got this http://www.nicolecrist.com/safe-place-means-creative-space/ which boasts a picture of a jar marked ‘creativity’ being poured into a female-looking hand. I doubt it’s what you meant.

          It is valid to say that if you are going to cite something you ought to know what it means but I do not go with the cavillers here and I am grateful to you for your illuminating post.

          • Amgine

            I wasn’t citing a link to a “creative safe place”, I was providing a link to the site and information: http://tinyurl.com/ohtz68o , something that Rod Liddle neglected to provide us with.

          • Alex

            Excellent batting

        • Ivan Ewan

          So, conversely, you want us to support something which you don’t even understand.

        • vieuxceps2

          “I’m not sure…” “Do you? Do you what ? Are you, perhaps?

          • Amgine

            Yes, I made a grammatical error. Maybe that was the reason I didn’t receive a reply.

    • sarah_13

      Indeed, and perhaps at some point they’ll actually address the case of this problem.

      • Feminister

        What is the case of this problem? If not male attitudes towards women and their disenfranchisement?

        • sarah_13

          Should read *cause*. The cause of this problem is not Rod Liddle nor western liberal society’s male attitudes.

          • Feminister

            That’s not the cause of stigma of women’s bodies in Africa and Asia, but it is both a product of and a cause of the stigma surrounding women’s bodies in this country.

            Plenty of Christian girls in this country aren’t allowed by their fathers to use tampons because it ruins their virginity, plenty of girls are humiliated at school by boys during their periods, plenty of western women get humiliated on social media for being seen leaking or carrying sanitary products, plenty of women feel ashamed and embarrassed about their periods and we are still taxed on them.

            Why should we be made to feel a minute of embarrassment or shame for doing the donkey work of producing men like Rod’s mewling middle class brats? Aren’t you sick of it?

          • Mary Ann

            I don’t think there are any women in Britain who would actually take their baby into a public toilet to feed them, it’s just the anti brigade who suggest that a public toilet is a suitable place.

          • Sap

            Of course they do. Most feeding rooms in shopping centres are next to toilets, and are about as appealing. Lots of women are too embarrassed to get their breast out to feed a youngster in public and retreat to the only private place that is available in town centres.

          • Dogsnob

            “Stigma”? Please explain.

          • Malus Pudor

            Thanks, Glenda Slagg, for that thoughtful insight…

          • Penny

            Why does breastfeeding mean staying at home? Women can express milk. Apart from all else this enables them to get a babysitter and enjoy a night out.

          • Sap

            Expressing milk is time consuming and sometimes painful and it’s not possible to carry a days worth around with you if you want to go out. Men and childless women don’t seem to appreciate what it means for women to be discreet about feeding their children for the first two years of their lives.

          • Penny

            Sap, I am neither a man, nor a childless woman. Nor do I, personally, object to women breastfeeding in public. As per my reply to Laura (above), my point is that we can’t hang this on a “chained-to-the-home” placard because it is absolutely the case that women who breastfeed do, nonetheless, have nights out with their husband/partner/friends. My point here is not to throw up objections to women breastfeeding in public but to point out that the “purdah” argument doesn’t really stand up.

          • Laura

            A baby needs 6oz of milk per day. That takes about 2 hours to express. So every time a woman wants to go out for the day, she needs to know a day in advance and spend the previous night expressing milk, keep it refrigerated, warm it back up. When she has a perfectly serviceable breast that can do it instantly? Just because a few people are a bit squeamish and can’t get over themseleves? And it’s the women who are supposed to be the selfish one.

          • Penny

            Laura, perhaps this 2hr-to-express is your experience, but that’s not the case for all women.

            I didn’t do it myself, but I’ve personally no objection to breast-feeding in public. I was making a point to counter the notion that if a woman can’t breastfeed in public, she’s in purdah – she’s not.

            In my view, it doesn’t help the cause to have supporters claiming that the reactions of some to the sight of breastfeeding is chaining us to the home when it is perfectly obvious that women of recent generations have had newborns but have nonetheless been able to have evenings out.

          • Jay Igaboo

            The usual femmy whining, but I agree with you about the Britney Spears thing (it it happened) that is a pretty disgusting invasion of privacy and God knows who would want to look at it.) It is, of course, women who are far more interested in celebrity nonsense– how do you know that it wasn’t a female pap who took the shot, and how do you know whether it was men or women who looked at it for some sort of perverse thrill or shadenfrude?
            Who the hell published it?
            Actually, I paused typing this post and with some misgivings, I searched for any mention of the offending shot.
            Didn’t find it– have you been telling porkies, m’dear?

    • wudyermucuss

      Sounds like post-modernistic version of missionary work to me,telling the poor natives how to live,ie,be like us.

      • Amgine

        “Sounds like”?

        Perhaps you should go to the link and find out for certain. http://tinyurl.com/ohtz68o

        • Andrew Smith

          I’m pretty sure they’ve got more pressing problems than a lack of fanny pads.

    • Clive

      Shame about the ‘Wolf Hall’ – that would have been nice. Very good series. Still, if women want to buy bits of cotton wool instead who am I, a man to…?

      • Amgine

        I don’t know anything about the ‘Wolf Hall’ so I can’t comment specifically about it.

        Personally, though I also don’t menstruate, I would advocate something more reusable than tampons and sanitary towels. If a woman feels comfortable with the device, a menstrual cup might be a fitting alternative. http://tinyurl.com/fmfa3

        • vieuxceps2

          “I also don’t menstruate”- It is are not raining here also.

  • MikeF

    The expression on Snow’s face gives the impression that he is about to do something with the thing that will enable him not merely to sympathise but rather more tangibly empathise with the cause he is promoting.

  • Chris

    edit: nvm, not the right time or place

  • gelert

    I’m surprised there was no mention of the tampon wannabe who will one day be our monarch.

  • Ahobz

    Rod – I am just reaching for Slater and Gordon’s number, as I think I have strained several muscles in my chest and abdomen laughing out load at this, for which as a victim I demand redress.

    Thank you both for the forthcoming compo and a bloody good belly laugh.

  • Suzy61

    Thank you Rod…another much needed laugh.

    Meanwhile, as on the recent Graham Norton show, Fleetwood in Lancashire now boasts a sign stating “You are now in Fleetwood (twinned with Fleetwood, Pennsylvania)…..where breastfeeding is always welcome”.

    What about “Welcome to Islington.,..where menstruation is always welcome”.

    Nice ring to it, no?

  • AliceS

    Hilarious. And such a ridiculous campaign too.

    http://www.plan-uk.org/because-i-am-a-girl/just-a-tampon/

  • wycombewanderer

    I am not averse to cracking one off at times it is perfectly natural thing to do, however they dont seem too amused in Sainsburys.

  • Gary Johnson

    Brilliant Mr Liddle.
    Until I read this article I never knew how progressive and ahead of the times I and my friends were as 15 year olds in the mid 70’s.

    We spent a Saturday night around a friends house whose mum was away for the night with one of her lovers and proceeded to get very drunk (nothing changes). We then decided to trash the bedroom (its not big nor clever) of our friends hot promiscuous elder sister who was also away. It ended up with us staggering around with tampons on our ears trying to play her guitar in some sort of punk / feminist empathy thing (really we were just p1ssed oiks but that is my line from now on).

  • UmUmUmUmUmUm

    Beautiful satirical writing. Just perfect for pricking the pomposity of liberal blimps like Jon Snow. He looks ridiculous. Holding a tampon like he’s just discovered something new. Back in the 80’s and 90’s myself, and I’m sure lots of ordinary family men like me were bulk buying the things for wives and assorted teenage daughters at the supermarket. Many undoubtedly saw their wives/girlfriends pop them in; I even used to try and tweak the little string which looked like a kind of tiny front facing tail, to much mutual marital amusement. Menstruation is a cross that women have to bear, but it’s a perfectly natural function. Relax. As for Steven Fry, I can think of several places he could ……!!!

  • Margot

    Absolutely bloody brilliant!

  • Solage 1386

    Every time I open my legs my nose starts bleeding, so sticking a tampon up each nostril has proved a very efficacious way of dealing with the problem, though it tickles me getting ’em in….. As for Snow, he’s always struck me as being a bit of a bleedin’ kunt, and an irritating one at that.

  • Castro Spendlove

    It’s a mouse, but where’s the telescope?

  • wudyermucuss

    I too used to shun any female I suspected was menstruating,raising my arms in a cross,shrieking “Be gone,get thee hence harlot” before fleeing for my life.
    Now,thanks to Jon Snow,I embrace tamponological hegemony and vibrantly counter tamponophobic bogotryismobia wherever it raises its hate speech head.

  • Lo Bin Sun

    Coming up : a grovelling apology, no more Rod

  • Terence Hale

    Hi,
    “Rod Liddle: why I’m supporting the #JustaTampon campaign”. I think in the trade a Tampon is called a vampires snack pack.

  • mikewaller

    From where has RL acquired all this knowledge about girls? I was once told that in his younger years when, on the first of many occasions, he was rebuffed by a young lady on the grounds that she was on her monthly cycle, he responded by saying “That’s alright, I’ll follow you home on me Honda”.

  • ohforheavensake

    I love it when you attempt irony. It’s like watching an elephant trying to ride a skateboard.

    • blandings

      Why don’t you show us how to do it then.

      • Bluebottle

        I love your posts

        • blandings

          Why, thank you.

  • Clive

    May I recommend to anyone interested in this topic, the story ‘Even the Queen’ which is in the book ‘Uncharted Territory’ by Connie Willis. It is the last and shortest of the three stories therein.

  • This is the best possible way to respond to the intersectional left at the moment. The final thread anchoring them to reality seems to have snapped recently and some of the stuff they’re coming out with defies parody.

  • David davis

    In
    the early 1970s, the FemiNazi strategic approach to things was already
    very, very highly developed in our universities. Some of our girlfriends
    used to pontificate triumphantly that, although “all men are
    reactionary and mysogynistic by nature, yet it is possible for them to
    try to become liberated.”

    “One of the things they can do to show their
    commitment to us as women is to – willingly – orally suck our menstrual
    blood from our vaginas. if it’s unwillingly, then it doesn’t count and
    they are still male-chauvinist-pigs”.

    So, Rod, really this is rather an
    old story, almost as old as the FemiNazi “movement” itself. But my
    congratulations on a brilliant bit of mickey-taking!

    (I took the liberty of commenting in this vein elsewhere, Rod. No point in reaching one audience when you can reach two…this one’s properly spellchecked, specially for the Speccie . I had trouble trying to remember how to spell “mysogynistic”, er…)

    • John Hawkins Totnes

      Not the real David Davis? No wonder you didn’t get the top job.

  • greencoat

    This article should win an award – Jonathan Swift himself could not have done better.
    And that photograph – the look of constipated pomposity on Snow’s face – priceless!

    • Jay Igaboo

      The tw@t only does two expressions– your excellent “constipated pomposity” and exaggerated “moral” outrage when ever he is confronted by something or someone less than relentlessly right-on and in full submission to PC diktat.

  • Tom M

    Of course what Rod omitted to recount was the familiar tale of the girls in the office drawing lots for who should tell the engineering manager the “bunny burner” isn’t working in the ladies’ loo. Followed by lots being drawn in the workshop to see which electrician was going to have to go and pull it apart to find out what was wrong with it.
    Ohh memories.

    • Jay Igaboo

      There is a worse horror that that which, thankfully, I avoided.
      Ina very varied working life, I was briefly an engineer on a passenger ship.
      In those days, there was a sanitary tank which briefly held the contents of the toilets before they were either discharged ashore if such facility existed, or held them until we were outside the 3- mile limit, when they would be discharged overboard.
      The impeller on the suction side pureed turds, but it could not handle jamrags very well at all.
      All the WC’s had notices telling women not to dispose of jamrags in the toilet, but some did.
      If the impeller got clogged, some poor SOB had to break the line and use a metal cleek to clear the impeller blades of the blutclot, as Shamcians call it.

      • Lo Bin Sun

        By SOB I’m assuming you mean ‘son of a bitch’.

        Did a DOB ever volunteer for the job?

        • Jay Igaboo

          Get real.
          By and large, as well you know, women tend to dodge the worst parts of most jobs. (With apologies to all Auxilliary Nurses, who are, IMO, under-appreciated for the oftimes disgusting work they have to do,)

  • Patrick Roy

    Jesus, I thought Labour had turned a few pages backwards. Hello? #RealMenAlwaysKnewItWasJustATampon

  • Jules Wright

    Christ almighty. The Twatterati Left selects menstruation (not an issue) above FGM (an issue) as the issue, emphasising the former and ignoring the latter. Says it all really. Its pious inability – and Jon Snow’s – to operate in the real world remains as per May 6th 2015.

  • Jackie Chan

    I can understand why Jon Snow looks so pissed off. I would too, if I’d found that in my skinny soya Latte!

  • On this tawdry subject, may I ask when plumbers will learn the difference between tampons, which are flushable unless encased in plastic (read the box: call the company) and pads, which never are?

    Thrice in my life I have been told that some woman (accusatory eye falsely skewed my way) has bunged up the plumbing with tampons. Because I am a person of dignity, I have not argued the toss with the plumber, questioned his professionalism, and demanded to know what in the sam hill he thinks he is talking about. To put it nicely. Because I’m nice, and dignified.

    But if there is ever a fourth time — and I pray god there will not be — I shall all but rip his head off. There will be fur and feathers and they will be flying. I am sick to death of women doing what they are perfectly entitled to do — do men, pray tell, exquisitely wrap their turds to throw out instead of sending them down the plumbing? — and being accused of ruining the pipes, when exactly the opposite happens: tampons get stopped up when the plumbing is already blocked. And plumbers of all people — the dumb@sses — ought to know this. Why do they not know this? Because they are men, and it’s much easier not to learn facts and simply to blame women when they are entirely, 100% blameless.

    • Lo Bin Sun

      Why do you refer to the plumber as a ‘him’ ?

      • GraveDave

        If I had a woman plumber I would have to ask for her credentials.

  • Andrew Smith

    Well if your going to start changing your tampons in public then I’m going to start publicly inserting my penis in to bottles and urinating. Also,I may attach a plastic bag to my arse and shit in it when I feel the need.

    • Laura

      Right because menstruating for five days continuously every month is exactly the same as choosing when you urinate.

      And plenty of men do urinate in public. No motorway trip is complete without seeing at least one man doing it.

      • Andrew Smith

        Yes plenty of men do urinate in public. Still they ought not to. Similarly, women ought not to use sanitary products in public. I’m no male dinosaur. Frankly being on the rag is a complete non-issue for me. I’ll happily sleep with women on their period. It’s just ludicrous to assert that it is socially acceptable to use sanitary products in public.

      • Malus Pudor

        What do you expect men to do when there are so few public facilities on our roads… pee all over the dashboard ?

        Come to think of it, I’ve seen quite a few women crouched behind their open car doors at the roadside …

  • marc biff

    It should be inside you Jon.

  • Brogan75

    Let’s start a campaign against his tie.

  • Sap

    “Feminists are notoriously good-humoured and ‘game for a laugh’, perhaps especially in those few days leading up to their monthly cycles.”

    We’ll let’s look at the latest sexist debacle:
    Tim Hunt makes a “lighthearted”, “amusing” comment accusing female scientists of not being able to take criticism, and crying. Suggesting therefore that they shouldn’t work in the established male laboratories. A worrying admission from a man who is most likely responsible for junior female colleague’s career and research progression.
    Female scientists responded to his humour by posting genuinely lighthearted and amusing pictures of themselves online.
    He couldn’t take the criticism, he resigned from his honorary post, his wife says he cried.

    Or the one before that:
    A female student union rep said some uncomplimentary things about white men.
    The white male population responded not with funny pictures, but with death threats and a petition for her to be sacked.

    I suppose the message is that women are meant to take all this kind of mean spirited bullying like this horrid article, not in the spirit it is intended, but with grace and good humour while men may turn into stampeding toddlers when they’re on the receiving end of mild good-humoured criticism.

    • Jay Igaboo

      “The white male population responded not with fanny pictures “…….. dashed decent of the chaps not to post vag pics, I’d have thought,……wipes glasses and carries on reading,, oh, not with FUNNY pictures, I see.
      They should have tried fanny pictures, then,

  • Abie Vee

    If you’d take my advice Mr Liddle, you’d put a sock in it.

    • Jay Igaboo

      I rather imagine he will completely ignore your “advice”.
      Hopefully other bought-and-paid for MSM hacks will follow his example and point out the absurdities of PC.
      A forlorn hope, I know, but it would have been a much better world if most journos hadn’t whored their pens to spread the PC of Cultural Marxism.

      • GraveDave

        Is it PC that forces you to misspell ‘ jigaboo’?

        • Jay Igaboo

          The Igaboos are a long-established English family.
          From the Black Country, originally.

          • Copyright101

            Glad to see you beyond the confines of the DT at last. This ID has long been banned there.

          • Jay Igaboo

            Yup, they’re good at that- the Mods tend to be anti-free speech for non- PC views.
            I don’t post to often anywhere though– I hate sitting typing!
            You can tell when the weather is shoite in Scotland, because that’s when I use the computer more.

      • Abie Vee

        Cultural Marxism.. what that old bogey? A bit of Marx (a very tiny bit), mixed up with a dash of Freud and a splash of the dead Frankfurt School thinkeing and et voila… an entirely phony childish construction whereby any odd assortment of right-wing fruitcakes can pretend to play the victims (just for a change)?

        Do grow up sonny.

        • Jay Igaboo

          Bullsh*it.
          Frankfurt School thinking is far from dead and you know it.
          PC is the b@stard child of the Frankfurt School and the Lefty Loon Fruitcakes who secured tenured positions in our universities..
          Thusly, further generations became Loony Left fruitcakes by osmosis via meeja and so called “education,”
          As to your suggestion that I “grow up” to be a brainwashed zombie like you, no thanks.
          Sonny.

          • Abie Vee

            An equally absurd riposte.

            I shall repeat for the last time; “[…] an entirely phony childish construction whereby any odd assortment of right-wing fruitcakes can pretend to play the victims (just for a change)”. Your incoherent barrage of abuse merely reinforces my point.

            You’re a fraud and you know you are.

          • Jay Igaboo

            .
            As for abuse, you’re a typical FemiNazi hypocrite, you started it.
            I couldn’t care a flying f*uck for your opinion of me, so I won’t be responding to any more of your lies.
            Just bog off back to Lesbania where your idiotic ululations are common currency.

          • Abie Vee

            I rest my case.

          • Malus Pudor

            And you are a pompous, overbearing bore… Do you write the Dave Spart column for Private Eye ?

          • Abie Vee

            Hmm… save you time and energy old chap.

  • Sap

    “For too long now menstruation and female sanitary wear has been the subject of male sniggering, disgust and — frankly — cruelty.”

    Well I’m glad you at least recognise this is what you’re doing. But the question is why you do it anyway. It’s odd given what you wrote recently in the Times about wold whistling men demeaning women and how women shouldn’t be expected to put up with it because nobody else would. And then you go and write something like this.

    • Jay Igaboo

      Just a wild guess, but I reckon you are not at risk to ear damage caused by being on the receiving end of wolf-whistlers?

    • Malus Pudor

      Where did you have your sense of humour bypass carried out ?

      Your life must be one long laughathon…

  • Hugh Jeego

    Best article ever!

  • Donafugata

    Rod, this is so close to the truth it is almost not funny.

  • GraveDave

    Tampons urgh! Now if it was a Free the Nipple campaign and I had a willing volunteer.

  • Phaedrus

    If you can’t have the meat, you might as well have the gravy.
    (As my old Sergeant said.)

  • sandy

    Lol, third-wave feminism is a joke.

  • monsieur_charlie

    Jon Snow is OK I suppose but it would have been far more appropriate with Prince Charles holding one and telling us about his thoughts on the possibilities of return from the afterlife.

  • Maureen Fisher

    There’s only one thing more funny than a feminazi and that’s a feminazi man like Jon Snow.

  • uberwest

    If Snowjob really wanted to show how comfortable he was with menstruation he’d be holding a used tampon, with his teeth.

  • Jankers

    Also great for packing a bloody nose and preventing drips when suffering a severe cold.

  • Frances Thompson

    Acknowledging that his own effort is ‘puerile humour masquerading as satire’ provides no escape from the fact that he is a self-congratulatory twat. Mildly funny if you’re in the mood, but unattractive.

  • skeets11

    Folks, we have a winner. This campaign is officially so freaking stupid that it has to be a joke.

  • sunzeneise

    Some facts, if you can handle the scientific and medical truth: http://www.mum.org/Odor.htm

  • blackdog

    I feel like I’ve been to England! No need no to cross the pond and take any chances with the radical muzzles in your fair land. As are yours, our Feminazis are always, always ready for a bit of lighthearted banter. Just watch it a little during those ‘special days’ around the shedding of the lining.

  • blackdog

    Muzzies

  • lgeubank

    Hee, hee. Highly antic satire. A breath of fresh odor.

  • See you there

    Thank you for being THE man who knows what women want and how some feminists think creatively

  • The_greyhound

    For anyone unfamiliar with Channel 4, Mr Snow is on the right of the picture.

  • monsieur_charlie

    It would have been funnier if it was old Jug Ears Charlie holding the tampon.

    • Jay Igaboo

      Shocking lese-majesty, you republican Frog bounder !
      Camel-Illa will ensure your knighthood is NOT in the post.

      • monsieur_charlie

        And about time too. But thank you anyway.

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