When I founded the American Conservative 13 years ago — the purpose being to shine a light on the neocon shenanigans that led to the greatest American foreign policy disaster ever — Pat Buchanan and I held a press conference in the Washington DC Press Club to herald the event. There were reporters galore, and I could tell from their expressions that it wasn’t going to be a friendly session. Buchanan went first and held his own. Then came my turn. A hatchet-faced female hack in the first row asked me if Saudi money was behind me. ‘I wouldn’t accept Saudi blood money if it meant bedding Romola Garai,’ answered the modern Homer (I had seen a preview of I Capture the Castle featuring a nude Romola).

‘What do you mean by that?’ she said.

‘Figure it out, Einstein,’ said a rather peeved me. Looks that kill all round.

‘Are you against immigration?’ demanded the hatchet-faced one.

‘Absolutely against,’ said Mister Moneybags.

‘But you’re an immigrant,’ countered the witch. That’s when Pat stepped in.

‘Taki didn’t actually come over the Rio Grande…’

‘How did you come over?’

‘I came over on my yacht,’ I said, trying to raise a snicker or two. No one, but no one laughed.

Looking like a spoilt braggart is not much fun during a press conference. Worse, the joke got on hatchet face’s nerves and she got up and left, taking half of the room with her. American reporters take themselves extremely seriously and their sense of humour is not their strongest point, so taking the mickey is a no-no.

In America and Europe the subject of immigration has become a means of entrapment. When I read the commissioning (sigh!) editor’s column about racism two weeks ago, I felt like beating up Elie Wiesel, or some other do-gooder. I wish that anonymous friend of the commissioning (sigh) editor had asked me whether or not everyone at The Spectator is a racist. She would have gotten an earful — and an earache to boot. ‘Poor Med-faring migrants’; what crock. As far as I’m concerned, if they’re not part of a jihadi pipeline, they’re sub-Saharans who have absolutely no business coming to Europe. As someone said, there are probably more annoying things than being hectored by Bono, but he couldn’t think of any. I have just discovered the most annoying of them all: being asked if I’m a racist because I don’t want to see Africa transported to Europe.

Just look at the harm these sincere whimpering types have done. First of all, free speech is now verboten. It is thought to oppress diversity. PC has become an authoritarian thought code that claims to stand for tolerance. But just try to suggest that immigration must have some limits, or that all cultures are not equal, and you’ll see how far that tolerance goes.

And, alas, it’s mostly our fault — well-meaning European Christians turning the other cheek. First we had the suicide of two world wars, then a de-Christianised Europe led by the crooks in Brussels conning everyone into believing in the need for cheap labour and letting in millions upon millions of Muslims. Charles Martel stopped them in Tours, Don John in Lepanto and Jean III Sobieski at the gates of Vienna, but now they’re in and they’re staying, and the commissioning (sigh) editor is asked whether or not the Speccie is racist. As the duchess who mistakenly walked into a whorehouse said, something’s very wrong here.

And another thing. Leader writers bang on about the hideous waste of young lives lured by the blood-drenched Islamic State. I say to hell with them. If they want to go to fight, let them go, as long as they don’t come back. It’s a free country, ain’t it? Sure, I feel bad about those who pay their last penny to a smuggler to take them to Europe, but what are we doing about the smugglers? Nada. The Turks are openly encouraging them — 18,000 immigrants have landed on the island of Lesbos this year alone, driving the Lesbians bonkers — yet we treat the Turkish government with kid gloves rather than cutting off diplomatic relations.

And while I’m on the subject, you’d think the genocidal Turks, who slaughtered upwards of a million innocent Armenian men, women and children, would have done the world a favour and included the Kardashian clan, but no such luck. What the West should do is wage war on the traffickers and on those who preach jihad within Europe. Let me ask you a question: when Churchill had Sir Oswald and Lady Mosley jailed in Holloway for more than two years because he deemed them unreliable as far as Herr Hitler was concerned, only a few eyebrows were raised. Yet in reality there was absolutely no way the Mosleys would have done anything to harm the war effort. Still, they were put in the clink. Now we have bearded types openly asking for the destruction of our way of life, and the BBC and Channel 4 and papers such as the Guardian give them publicity. And instead of rounding them all up and making them do a Taki in Pentonville for 40 years or so, we pretend they are Brits and that they have the right to do what they’re doing. What were the Mosleys? Albanians?

The fourth and final African invasion is taking place as I write, so don’t send me any cards in Wyoming once you’re deemed an enemy of the people by the types that questioned the commissioning (sigh) editor about racism.

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