I realised long ago that I almost never play bridge with a partner worse than me. Occasionally, I cut a palooka at rubber bridge — but they probably think the same about me. I mainly play with professionals and they always have something kind and constructive to say when the defence goes pear-shaped: ‘Cover an honour with an honour’ or ‘Why did you cover dummy’s Queen?’ ‘Ducking is for experts’ or ‘Why didn’t you duck?’ ‘You must split your honours’ or ‘Why on earth did you split?’ And my favourite, ‘Never lead a singleton trump’ or ‘You had to lead...