White women have had their heads on a dartboard since Donald Trump won the election in 2016. We’ve been accused of tone policing, centring, spiritual bypassing and possessing a ‘white saviour’ complex.

I don’t identify as a feminist but a Harper’s Bazaar column  published in August 2017 states that white women’s feminism is, in fact,  “white supremacy in heels.”

American professor and feminist author Roxane Gay’s goal is to “make white feminists do the work for themselves”.

This incessant blaming and shaming of women with white skin sounds like a ‘powertrip control’ issue.  Any white woman that doesn’t conform to the self-hating and victimhood narrative will be labelled a racist, a white supremacist or a gender traitor.

I’ve apologised for a lot in my life but I’ll be damned if I’ll apologise for being born white. It seems victimhood is the new black and that pun is intentional.

I’m surrounded by friends and family members of different races and colours.  I’ve never discriminated against a POC (read the Huffington Post, Grandpa) in my life.

In a recent  NY Times op-ed, (which reads as if the author took a creative writing class once), Alexis Grennell conveys her disappointment at the “gender traitor” white senators who stood by Brett Kavanaugh. “They’ve made standing by the patriarchy a full-time job,” Grennell said.

Hmm, yes…

Because the senators couldn’t possibly have voted to confirm Judge Kavanaugh to the Supreme Court because there wasn’t enough sufficient evidence against him?  Let’s hang an innocent man. Trial by social media jury. But I digress.

Grennell goes on to say, “The gender gap in politics is really a colour line. White women benefit from patriarchy by trading on their whiteness to monopolize resources for mutual gain. In return they’re placed on a pedestal to be “cherished and revered.”

On a pedestal?  Are you kidding me? Dearie me, another think piece dripping in blame, immaturity and judgment…

Well, I haven’t gained anything from the patriarchy. And it has been my choice to stand by men and speak up about the genuine issues they face.  Nor have I been ‘cherished and revered.

And by the way, since when did every column written by a ‘woke’ feminist have to include a reference to The Handmaid’s Tale? Did they miss the novel 30 years ago – or the 1990 film?

I’m so over this bullshit of white men and white women having to apologise for their existence.

I have struggled and struggled and struggled all of my life.

I’ve overcome rape, childhood sexual abuse, domestic violence, the overdose of my brother and the death of my parents.

I take immense offence that Grennell (an apparent feminist) would like to dismiss my life’s journey by reducing me to a mere skin tone.

Vanessa de Largie is a freelance journalist and sex columnist who divides her time between London and Melbourne.

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