Flat White

CBD: welcome to the GULAG – GetUp!, Labor and the Greens

26 April 2019

1:08 PM

26 April 2019

1:08 PM

Our perspicacious political insider writes exclusively:

It’s now been just over two weeks since SM saw the GG and Election 19 kicked off. CBD has never experienced a longer two weeks. CBD confesses to having been excited at the prospect of Election 19. Two weeks in and CBD is getting a bit twitchy.

It seems no one is tripping up SM. He’s everywhere. And disturbingly some of Cube’s acquaintances who were considered rusted on GULAG supporters are entertaining counter revolutionary thoughts.

GetUp!, Labor And Greens (GULAG) supporters thinking of deserting  the cause after two weeks of the campaign is a dangerous and disturbing development. If it trends Cube’s aspirations will be shattered and BS denied his destiny. And Australians denied the utopia of higher debt and deficits.

But it seems the deserters still entertain the old fashioned notions of integrity truth and decency. Why this hasn’t been fully educated out of the people is a mystery after all these years of Cube’s mates running the education system. Nevertheless they are getting frighteningly sick of GetUp! describing it variously as extreme, ugly and manipulative. It’s recent attacks on Abbott, Andrews and Frydenberg are inexplicably backfiring. So unrelenting are the attacks that GetUp has been forced to withdraw  advertisements. Makes it tough when you only campaign on policies and tell the AEC so you can’t be classified as an Associated Entity and then get pinged with these descriptors.

CBD is at a loss to cerebrally process the thought processes of others. Is it that important that BS knows his policies, tells the truth about tax and superannuation and answer questions about the cost of his climate change policy? Why should people be encouraged to save, work hard and be concerned about the cost of living?

Don’t people intuitively understand that cost of living needs to be sacrificed to help save the planet. The fact our CO2 reductions are more than offset by increases in emissions from China are matters that need not be advised to the Australian people.

Yes, CBD is down in the mouth about the first two weeks. Yet CBD takes hope from the fact that there are three more weeks to go. The public holidays of Easter and ANZAC Day are behind us. So the gloves can come off. Pre- polling is starting next week and the GULAG will be out in full force at the pre-polling places and doubling down on their campaign for increased taxation and less freedom.

CBD sees recent developments with concern yet confidence given the GULAG’s capacity to manipulate, distort and mislead. But with these thoughts came flashbacks of Cube’s childhood and mother’s sage advice that there is such a thing as “getting too much of a good thing”. Too much of GetUp is turning people’s vote. BS’s policy flakiness is bizarrely getting people to focus on the alternative. And Dr Dick Nut Ally’s Greens are way off from resonating. Their convoy of inconvenience may appeal to a small minority of diehards. But even CBD acknowledges there needs to be some appeal to swinging voters.

GULAG’s activities may well determine GULAG’s future. As a barracker for GULAG, CBD flags concern at this marker of Election 19. If not heeded GULAG could find itself being hit hard and sent to GULAG.

CBD will be contributing regularly throughout the campaign.

Illustration: GetUp!

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