What was that Malcolm Turnbull once said about “the prime minister who broke the nation’s heart”? Whatever the case, he wasn’t talking about ScoMo and Tonga. Not that facts stood in the way of some inventive reporting over the weekend, even – bedwetting conspiracists please note – from the more junior members of the elite Rupertian Guard:

A Prime Minister has been brought to tears over Australia’s stalled efforts around climate change.