Flat White

Stop those tears! Can’t you see the oceans are already rising?

1 November 2019

3:07 PM

1 November 2019

3:07 PM

Another day, another useful and informative bulletin from Extinction Rebellion.

It appears that the silly hippies aren’t just scaring innocent children, but terrifying themselves (or, more likely, were mentally unstable to begin with).

Last week’s Psychology for a Safe Climate session clearly didn’t do the trick, so now they’re offering this:

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A snip at 60 bucks and just near the site of some of Julia Gillard’s most-canvassed renovations. Who says environmentalism is an obsession for wealthy inner-city types?

You’d think that given these Froot Loops have been forecasting environmental catastrophe and the imminent end of the world for more than half a century that they might have adjusted to the idea, but the answer’s clearly no.

It all brings the old Beyond the Fringe sketch to mind:

Disciple: When will it be, this end of which you have spoken?

All disciples: Aye, when will it be? When will it be?

Leader: In about thirty seconds time, according to the ancient pyramidic scrolls — and my Ingersoll watch.

Disciple: Shall we compose ourselves, then?

Leader: Good plan, Brother Pithy. Prepare for the End of the World! Fifteen seconds…

Disciple: Have we got the tinned food?

Other disciple: Yes.

Leader: Ten seconds…

Disciple: And the tin-opener?

Other disciple: Yes.

Leader: Five – four – three – two – one – zero!

All: (Chanting) Now is the end – perish the world!

— A pause

Leader: It was GMT, wasn’t it?

Disciple: Yes.

Leader: Well, it’s not quite the conflagration I’d been banking on. Never mind lads, same time tomorrow. We must get a winner one day.

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