Flat White

What’s woke this week?

7 November 2019

4:31 PM

7 November 2019

4:31 PM

Award-winning transgender athletes have been trending in wokeworld this week. Along with that a sleepy little white town in Britain has been forced to change its signs, and the patently ridiculous woke term ‘self-partnered’ is the new singleton for simpletons. And through it all an unexpected thread of poor grammar runs resolutely.

Simpleton singleton

Ooh, don’t you just wish you were as morally superior as wokeworld’s mega-celebrities who are constantly foisted upon us as exemplars and role models? Former Harry Potter starlet-cum-‘activist’ Emma Watson is most at home these days in her role as Goodwill Ambassador for the United Nations Entity for Gender Equality and the Empowerment of Women. In this role, she lectures the world on feminist issues along with other ‘carefully selected’ and ‘distinguished individuals’ like Nicole Kidman and Anne Hathaway. The struggles against the dreaded patriarchy by these celebrities from privileged backgrounds must make for riveting speeches. But I digress. This month’s Vogue UK featured an in-depth interview with ‘voice for change’ Watson in which the erstwhile child star has coined a new term that surely takes the cake for most imbecilic statement of the week. Watson, who, on the dawn of her 30th birthday is single, prefers to describe herself as ‘self-partnered’ – I kid you not.

Forget the somewhat disturbing visual images that conjures up. It’s proof, as if anyone needed it, that the self-absorption of Hollywood celebs knows no bounds.

Watson also waxed lyrical about her #TimesUp activist gal pal co-stars in the upcoming remake of Little Women – Laura Dern and everyone’s favourite finger-wagging moralist schoolmarm and former clueless friend of Harvey Weinstein, Meryl Screech …sorry, Streep. Tattoo trigger warning aside: And who can forget Watson’s grammatically challenged Times Up temporary tattoo at a 2018 Oscars party (sans apostrophe)?

And if you had any doubts that with a cast like this the latest version of the beloved classic coming-of-age story will be anything but woke you need look no further than Watson’s take on her role as older sister – and happy married housewife – Meg March. Watson gushed:

With Meg’s character, her way of being a feminist is making a choice – because that’s really, for me anyway, what feminism is about. Her choice is that she wants to be a full-time mother and wife. To Jo, being married is some sort of prison sentence. But Meg says, ’You know, I love him, and I’m really happy and this is what I want. And just because my dreams are different from yours it doesn’t mean they’re unimportant’.

Funny how celebrity feminists never take this line about real full-time wives and mothers in the real world. Her view also conveniently leaves out the fact that Jo’s ultimate happiness comes in the form of wifedom and motherhood. #InconvenientTruth, perhaps.


Canny trannies on two continents made sporting news this week when they were awarded for their efforts in women’s sport. In the UK Kent county’s first transgender cricketer, Maxine Blythin, took out the award for Kent Women Player of the Year at their annual cricket awards. At the county level, trans players can merely self-identify as women and do not need to meet the mandated maximum testosterone levels required by national players, which puts Blythin’s 340 runs and a best of 51 not out in 13 games across all formats, in a slightly different perspective.

Critics of the award have been criticised on social media, of course, including by Blythin’s female captain, Tammy Beaumont, who in the language, and seemingly grammar, favoured by Twitterati wokerati said:

So please attempt don’t speak for me or my ovaries [sic].

One wonders how supportive Beaumont might be if her place as captain or in the team were under threat from Blythin.

Over in Montana Jonathan Eastwood was a top runner for the University of Montana’s track and field men’s team as recently as 2017. As ‘June’ the 6-foot 5-inch Eastwood recently finished second in a women’s race and helped the University of Montana team achieve seventh place at a major cross country race. In a lather of inclusivity Eastwood, for those superwoman efforts, was recently named Big Sky Conference Women’s Cross-Country Athlete of the Week.

Like UK County Cricket, The National Collegiate Athletic Association, which administers the program in which Eastwood competed, does not have a maximum testosterone policy.

The little white town that cried

The picturesque, whitewashed and sleepy little hamlet of Bideford in Devon has long been famous as ‘The Little White Town’ referred to in Charles Kingsley’s historical boys’ own adventure novel, Westward Ho! But in 2019 ‘little white town’ has obviously Machiavellian racist undertones, according to town councillor and former mayor, Dermot McGeough. At last week’s town council meeting McGeough argued:

Following a number of complaints from parishioners, I propose that the words “Little White Town” are removed from all signs within the town and at the town entrances

The wording ‘Little White Town’ can be perceived as causing a racist slur and not politically correct. Therefore this issue should be rectified immediately.

If this wording is not removed, the town council could be classed as a racist white supremacist.

Just how a local governing body could be classed as ‘a racist white supremacist’ was not clearly articulated, or perhaps understood, by the woke warrior, McGeough. Grammar, once again, seems not to be a strong point with wokesters.

There were resident protests at the meeting and a poll by local media organisation, Devon Live, is currently tracking a whopping 92% of respondents against the move. Council, however, in a bid to ‘respect people’s feelings’ as opposed to, say, facts, reason and history, eventually agreed to change the signs to now read ‘Charles Kingsley’s “Little white town” (1855)’.

Next woke stop? The White Cliffs of Dover are clearly asking for trouble.

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