Flat White

What’s woke this week?

23 February 2020

7:52 AM

23 February 2020

7:52 AM

Another week, more pearls from the world of woke where perception, rather than reality, is everything. That old Speccie favourite, Hanoi Jane, has been back in the headlines, along with the ultimate in recycling  human composting  and the Archbishop of Woke, the Church of England’s Most Reverend Justin Welby, flagellating himself over the Church’s history of ‘racism’. 

Jane Fonda I: Hanoi deployed  

Kent State University in Ohio is marking the fiftieth anniversary of the shooting of students by the Ohio National Guard in response to their Vietnam war protest — as well they might such an infamous and tragic event. But they’re apparently not looking for any common ground between the erstwhile protestors and the Vietnam War vets who bore the unjust brunt of political and social divisions over the war. Certainly not.  

In their woke wisdom, the powers-that-be at Kent have decided that old Hanoi Jane herself is the perfect guest speaker for the event. And they’re going to pay her US$83,000 to do it. 

Kent spokesman Eric Mansfield said that the organizing committee had:  

[D]eveloped three pillars that guided the planning: honoring and remembering those killed and wounded; educating about May 4, 1970, and the dangers of polarizing rhetoric and divisive discourse; and above all, inspiring current and future students to be leaders in peaceful conflict resolution and reconciliation.

So Jane, well known during the war for her ‘polarizing rhetoric and divisive discourse’ (not to mention posing for photos astride a Vietnamese anti-aircraft gun) is the logical choice, then. Let’s hope she doesn’t forget her helmet.  

Jane Fonda II: Virtue coup  

Jane, along with others of her ubiquitous has-been ilk  think Cher, Bette Midler and Ashley Judd  usually sticks to the gamut of approved feminist celebrity talking points: i.e. Trump, ‘reproductive rights’, Trump, #MeToo, Trump, and the climate ‘catastrophe’, or whatever the current nomenclature is. Last week, in a splendid demonstration of elitist virtue signaling Jane showed off recycled designer fashion and ethically-sourced diamond jewellery as her contributions towards a sustainable world. Take a bow, Jane. 

Like her clueless friend and partner-in-climate protest bravery, Joaquin Phoenix, Jane thinks that wearing ludicrously expensive designer garb more than once will help save the planet. At last week’s Oscars ceremony she reportedly wore a beaded Elie Saab gown that she had previously worn at Canne in 2014. I know, it’s hard to fathom the courage of it all.  

What’s more, in a truly startling display of self-sacrifice for the planet, the jewellery she was adorned with featured ‘ethically harvested gold and sustainable diamonds’. Does Jane’s virtue know no limits?  

Of course, such ‘bravery’ couldn’t go unrewarded and the MSM obliged with all the fawning admiration such ‘powerful’ and ‘controversial’ statements usually receive.  

Personally I can’t help but think that the world isnt actually a better place when Jane keeps recycling herself like a modern-day Frankenstein’s monster. Unless she signs up for the latest environmentally-friendly craze, human composting, that is. Then she really might do the world a favour. 

Compost for the cosmos

Forget veggies and scraps. The latest and greatest ingredient for composting is the human body. Yes, that’s right. Funeral company Recompose announced this week that the world’s first human composting service will be launched in Washington State in February 2021. 

Trials involving six ‘enthusiastic’ volunteers saw bodies placed in special vessels, oddly reminiscent of a horse trough, along with woodchips, alfalfa and grass. The bodies were rotated, broken down by microbes and, after thirty days produced two cubic yards of soil-like material. The plan is for the compost to be provided to relatives to be scattered on plants and trees.  Tree hugging may soon take on an entirely different connotation.  

Recompose CEO, Katrina Spade said that ‘The project has moved forward so quickly because of the urgency of climate change and the awareness we have to put it right.‘ She claims that it saves more than a tonne of carbon being released into the atmosphere, compared to burials and cremations. 

They probably haven’t reckoned on all the CO2 that will be released by all the climate alarmist celebrities who will have to have their remains transported to Washington State for their last bit of virtue signaling. 

Saint Welby the Woke 

The Archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby, last week eschewed apologetics in favour of apologies in his address to the Church of England’s General Synod. Sounding uncannily like an actor’s mea culpa acceptance speech at any number of awards ceremonies this year, Welby’s diatribe included:  

[T]here is no doubt when we look at our own Church that we are still deeply institutionally racist. Let’s just be clear about that. I said it to the College of Bishops a couple of years ago and it’s true.

And my personal favourite: 

I have white advantage. Educational advantage. Straight advantage. Male advantage… I’m not ashamed of those advantages; I’m ashamed of not knowing I had them.

His statement “Most of us in here [at the Synod], almost all of us, the vast majority of us – well over 85 per cent; and remember 15 per cent is roughly the BAME in this country, so if we were representative it would be 15 per cent – but well over 85 per cent, over 90 per cent, are white” swapped shame for shamelessness when he implied that figures about the BAME population of Britain, which has a large percentage of Muslim, Sikh and Hindu minoritieswere representative of the Church of England community itself.    

Ultimately, just as you knew it would, the synod voted unanimously to:  

[L]lament, on behalf of Christ’s Church, and apologises for, the conscious and unconscious racism experienced by countless black, Asian and minority ethnic (BAME) Anglicans in 1948 and subsequent years, when seeking to find a spiritual home in their local Church of England parish churches, the memory of which is still painful to committed Anglicans who, in spite of this racism from clergy and others, have remained faithful to the Church of England and their Anglican heritage.

It’s obviously too much to expect that Welby, as the head of the whole shebang, would remain faithful to its basic tenets.   

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