Flat White

EXCLUSIVE: How Extinction Rebellion is coping with coronavirus

21 March 2020

4:38 PM

21 March 2020

4:38 PM

How, many of you have asked, is Extinction Rebellion coping in this time of genuine crisis? Is it “Keep calm and carry on”? The answer is both yes and no.

Keeping calm has never really been an Extinction Rebellion thing, but they love carrying on. So, if anything, we can say that they’re carrying on and staying stupid — if these exclusive extracts from their latest bulletin are anything to go by.

Isn’t “fear” already as fundamental to Extinction Rebellion as a belief in Jesus is to Christianity? Speaking of whom, Christ, those Extinction Rebellion types must be truly terrified right now with both the real and their imaginary crises. The price of calming weed will have gone through the roof and there must be a deafening drone of “Om” in some inner-city suburbs and along the New South Wales coast and hinterland from Byron to the Tweed (mounting in Mullumbimby).

Extinction Rebellion continue:

Let’s be frank here. Every time Extinction Rebellion gathers, coronavirus or no coronavirus, there’s a threat to public health. Those hippies and their hygiene…

But how are they going to use their time? Brainwashing kids by scaring them stupid is a key Extinction Rebellion activity, so with children currently doubly fearful thanks to coronavirus, they’re going to ramp up their activities in this department.

And how are they going to coordinate this sort of thing? Carrier pigeon? Semaphore signals? Tin cans and string? Not at all.

Extinction Rebellion plan to ride out the genuine crisis by increasing their use of electricity and sophisticated IT equipment that requires energy-intensive activity and the use of fossil fuels and byproducts such as plastics not only in the assembly of the parts that make up their devices but in the creation of those parts themselves.

It’s utter hypocrisy but, no doubt, as good Trotskyites, Extinction Rebellion members will justify their fresh carbon consumption by repeating dear old Leon’s line — things need to get worse before they can get better.

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