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ScoMo in floods

The PM’s unnatural disaster

27 March 2021

9:00 AM

27 March 2021

9:00 AM

The PM should forget the sinners trawled up by Aunty and save ordinary Aussies

As the floodgates of heaven opened over south-eastern Australia this week, there seemed no end to the bilge-water draining from the cesspit of parliament into the public arena via the national broadcaster.

Oh for an ark, to sail away from the sinners, but there was no escape. The ABC is determined to devote our tax dollars to covering the mud wrestling of government staffers — overpaid, over-sexed and under the weather — with their increasingly fragile ministers. It’s great fun for the Left as the ABC rarely subjects its ideological bedfellows to such salacious scrutiny.

The latest chapter in parliament’s bodice-ripping Mills and Boon was aired on the ABC’s Four Corners starring an interview with the security guard who allowed then Defence Industry Minister Linda Reynolds errant staffers to access her office. The guard’s key concern was to state that there had been no security breach — on her part — contradicting the Prime Minister.

In fact, as government sources told the Australian — and presumably would have told the ABC if they had bothered to ask —  the male staffer breached security by gaining access to the minister’s office under the false pretence that his purpose was work-related rather than to engage in hanky-panky, consensual or otherwise.


That the guard left the female staffer to sleep off her intoxication in her birthday suit was the Prime Minister’s fault, according to Laura Tingle on the ABC’s 7:30, as were the ancient rape allegations dredged up by the ABC to hurl at the Attorney-General and the whole ‘sick culture’ that had been allowed to develop under Morrison’s watch.  As the twits tweeted, ‘the most religious PM we’ve ever had oversees the most depraved government culture we’ve ever seen’. Hardly.

The most depraved thing to be aired this week was that a group of staffers had shared photos and videos of themselves and their old fellows engaged in ‘lewd acts’ alone, with each other and on unsuspecting furniture. There were also tales of prostitutes and penises in the prayer room. Naturally, the fact that the men were gay and the sex workers were rent boys was glossed over by the Left because gays are an ‘oppressed’ group and only white, right, straight oppressors can be named and shamed. Thus when former Labor senator Sam Dastyari made the same allegation about the prayer room in 2019 there was little hyperventilation about left-wing debauchery.

In a similar demonstration of the partisan nature of the sisterhood’s solidarity, a female Liberal assistant minister who said the young fellow who filmed himself was a ‘good worker’ — as well as a good wanker, presumably — was savaged by Labor Senator Kristina Keneally, who demanded the Liberal confine her sympathy to the cleaners and the desk which was ‘disrespected’.

Concern about bodily emissions defiling defenceless parliamentary furniture trended on Twitter under the banner #FurnitureEquality. Had anybody tabled a motion recently? Were people assigned a desk because they were a big shot? Did staffers stick to the tasks in hand literally? It’s a reminder that even in the sewer that is social media, the larrikin spirit has not been extinguished.

MPs were quick to call on the depraved staffers to clean up parliament’s culture by cleaning out their offices, scoring partisan points along the way. Independent Zali Steggall sang from the ABC song sheet and blamed the government. Labor frontbencher Bill Shorten was more magnanimous saying there should be ‘zero’ tolerance for ‘reprehensible’ behaviour and anyone — presumably other than Kathy Sheriff, who alleges Shorten raped her in 1986 — with knowledge of other acts should come forward. ‘No wonder people hate politics,’ he told Channel 9, no doubt hating it himself at that moment.

Greens Senator Sarah Hanson-Young said the culture of Parliament House was ‘more like local boy college-style behaviour that goes unchecked’.  Which is better than the office of the leader of the Greens in Victoria in 2017 who resigned after calling women in the workplace ‘fat, hairy lesbians’, ‘power pussies’ and ‘hairy-legged feminists’ and had a ‘men’s room’ that female staffers could only enter if invited. Victorian Greens Senator Lidia Thorpe confessed she has been subjected to ‘brazen’ unwanted touching, suggestive comments and phone calls from four parliamentarians, presumably on the Left since the ABC has shown no interest.

The PM’s handling of this issue has been lacklustre but he should take heart. As the #MeToo movement has shown, the spectre of sleaze haunts every workplace. Suggesting that people behaving badly is all the fault of the PM is absurd. The sodomisers exposed this week were indulging their inner porn stars when the ABC’s preferred Liberal prime minister — Blessed Malcolm of the Leather Jacket — the patron saint of gay marriage — reigned supreme. Indeed it was Malcolm who licensed the prurient speculation of the media about the sex lives of ministers and staffers with his bonk ban. Before his vindictive prudery turned it into a cudgel with which to batter the government, the ABC did not allow then Prime Minister Bob Hawke’s tearful confession of adultery or Jim Cairns ‘special sort of love’ for staffer Junie Morosi to taint their heroes’ haloes.

Morrison was clearly wounded by the unfairness of the attacks to which he and his government have been subjected, but that’s no excuse to expose his allies at Sky News to friendly fire, falsely claiming they were dealing with a harassment case of their own. What genius in his office dreamed that up? Why attack the media at all when the PM needs them onside? As the old saying goes, ‘never argue with a man who buys ink by the barrel’. And why attack one of the few outlets that is not actively trying to bring down the government?

The PM needs to remember that the ABC is not just his enemy but that of anyone on the right and appointing a well-meaning woman as its chair is not a sufficient strategy for dealing with its intractable bias. The good news is the howling banshees of the Left do not speak for Middle Australians of either sex and this issue is not a vote-changer — Australians are far too sensibly self-interested for that. They simply want their Prime Minister to stop letting the ‘wymyn’ at Aunty’s anarchist collective hijack the agenda and get back to protecting the things that matter to them — their jobs, values, freedom and their country.

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