Flat White

The Greens: if you don’t go commando a child in Africa will die. Or something

26 March 2021

2:28 PM

26 March 2021

2:28 PM

My parents used to encourage me to eat my vegetables because “there are children starving in Africa”, as if my table manners and the plight of African orphans were inextricably linked.

It worked because I was young and stupid.

Speaking of which, NSW Greens MP David Shoebridge is upset that “the 30 wealthiest schools in NSW have a combined income greater than some of our South Pacific neighbours like Tonga and Samoa”.

Does Mr Shoebridge really believe the people of Tonga would have more if private schools in NSW had less?

Is he seriously suggesting some sort of perverse, inverse relationship between prosperity at Knox Grammar and poverty in Samoa?

Could it be that spoilt Scott’s College boys in Bellevue Hill are the cause of lower than expected economic activity in Fiji and Vanuatu?

Of course not.

But it sounds about right if you are young and stupid. Or a Greens voter. But I repeat myself.

The NSW Greens spokesman for Justice and Police tweeted today: “The 30 richest schools in the state had a total income of more than $1.7 billion – exceeding the GDP of small Pacific Island nations like Tonga and Samoa.”



Imagine the horror when Mr Shoebridge learns that Australians spend $1.8m on underwear every year. Will he urge Greens supporters to go commando style in order to support sagging Pacific Island economies?

The sad truth is that if he did, they probably would.

“These schools should be ashamed!” replied one of Mr Shoebridge’s simpletons when he revealed the sinister relationship between NSW private school funding and the Gross Domestic Product of Samoa.

“It’s greed pure and simple!” said another.

A third tweeted: “No more funding privaledge!”

Indeed, the money is clearly needed to fund literasee.

The federal government spent $35 billion on indigenous affairs last year, but I don’t see Mr Shoebridge suggesting that this negatively impacted the productivity of workers in New Caledonia.

No. It is only the private school kids on Sydney’s north shore who adversely affect the living standards of our neighbours in the South Pacific.

And if you believe that, you’ll eat all your greens tonight because if you don’t, a child in Africa will starve.

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