Flat White

How to avoid coronavirus? Duck and cover

2 June 2021

4:11 PM

2 June 2021

4:11 PM

Not content with her discovery of the elusive “pizza box” strain of coronavirus, South Australia’s chief public health officer Nicola Spurious, sorry, Spurrier, has now turned her mind to the issue of avoiding Covid-19 while watching AFL.

Spurious is full of good ideas ahead of the game between the Crows and Collingwood (surely a health hazard on their own) at Adelaide Oval on Saturday.

“We’re looking at the seating at the moment and of course we’re looking at the ball, because sometimes the ball, not that I’ve been to many football games, but I have noticed occasionally it does get kicked into the crowd,” Spurious has said.

“We are working through the details of what that will mean.

“If you are at Adelaide Oval and the ball comes towards you. My advice to you is to duck and just do not touch that ball.”

Get that? Duck and cover. Just like those handy and every so helpful early Cold War public information films on how to survive a Ruskie attack, duck and cover.

That’s how you too can survive coronavirus.

Thanks, Nicola.

Got something to add? Join the discussion and comment below.

Show comments