Flat White

Come fly the gender neutral skies

12 October 2021

3:05 PM

12 October 2021

3:05 PM

The gender-neutral brigade are getting a bit much. 

Last week I wrote an article for SpecOz about how women are being erased by the transgender movement.  Today’s piece is about how gender-neutrality has reached the skies.

British Airways is the latest airline to make air travel a gender-neutral space. Passengers will no longer be referred to as “ladies and gentlemen” during in-flight announcements. 

Apparently ditching the classic airline greeting in pursuit of inclusivity will make the “theys and thems” feel warm and fuzzy inside. 

But the question remains, what else can be fixed in the English language to make everyone feel included?  I guess HIStory and MANkind will have to go. WoMANiser, microMANangement and MANipulating are also obvious goners. 

And how about baby names?  Should the name CleMENtine be cancelled?  Because we can’t have a girl’s name channelling toxic masculinity.  Someone might feel “triggered” when they hear the name uttered.

The name ‘Star’ has to go because it isn’t inclusive of the moon, the sun and the universe.  The name ‘Summer’ has to be wiped because it’s an insult to winter, autumn and spring.

Language not only becomes difficult when we strive to be inclusive of everyone and everything but political-correctness-on-steroids makes conversations about race utterly ridiculous.

A couple of years ago, P.E.T.A informed us that milk was racist and claimed it’s actually code for white supremacy.  What P.E.T.A forgot to mention while schooling us mere mortals about supposed racism is that by their own measure Coca-Cola is racist and drinking it is actually secret language for “I hate white people”.

Keeping on with the theme, having ice in your drinks means you hate Eskimos (I mean Inuits) — and DO NOT be seen at the beach (sorry Sydneysiders) because the beach contains sand and you don’t want to upset Arabs.

As you can see by reading this article, a politically correct world will be just peachy for our future.  Shit, did I just exclude apples, prunes, bananas and figs?  Sorry, it seems I’m fruitophobic — I promise I’ll try to correct my ways.  Over and out.

Vanessa de Largie has been the sex columnist at Maxim Magazine since 2017. You can learn more about her work on her website.  

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