Flat White

The faux feminism of the orgasm gap

27 October 2021

5:40 PM

27 October 2021

5:40 PM

Feminists use ‘The Orgasm Gap’ as an excuse to dump on men.

For those of you who may not know what the orgasm gap is, it’s a phrase that became popular after a survey was published on the Differences in Orgasm Frequency Among Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Heterosexual Men and Women.  

The 2017 survey revealed that 95% of heterosexual men orgasmed during sex compared to 65% of heterosexual women.  

Feminists are hell-bent on inclusivity and the rights of the LGBTQI community yet their entire focus with this study is the orgasm inequality between heterosexual men and women. When you google the orgasm gap, the alphabet people barely get a mention in the feminist-flavoured think pieces.  Hypocrisy much? 

One could also argue that feminists who use ‘the orgasm gap’ as fuel to humiliate men are being sex-negative and anti-feminist.  


Feminists love to talk about shame and blame — slut-shaming, body shaming, genital shaming and victim blaming. But these sinful actions are apparently only a problem when they happen to women. 

Feminists take no issue with pulling a disobedient man down to size by shaming him with the term ‘micropenis’. Considering the average penis size for men worldwide is only 5.5 inches — this is genital-shaming on a mass scale.

Feminists take no issue with female promiscuity but demonise men who enjoy the fruits of their sexual liberation.  

Feminists discuss sexual agency but are clearly unwilling to accept any responsibility for their own actions which lead to unwanted sexual advances.

Feminists take no issue with shaming the “Dad-bod” while singing the praises of some obesely fat bitch who graces the cover of a ‘woke’ magazine in pursuit of body inclusivity. 

If climaxing is your only goal during sex, you’re doing it wrong. Orgasm is certainly a bonus but it’s definitely not the aim.  Sex is about pleasure and connection and a myriad of other things.

Shaming a person who didn’t orgasm or was unable to orgasm is by no means helpful and does nothing to evolve the conversation around heterosexual sex.  It just makes men and women feel shitty about themselves. And with this kind of narrative, is it any wonder that many men believe sex finishes after they blow?

Sex-positive feminists champion the idea of women ‘taking control’ of their own sexualities.  This can be expressed via the use of sex toys, male escorts and taking nude selfies. But how can a feminist claim ownership over her sexuality while simultaneously holding men responsible for her orgasms or lack of?  It’s a contradiction.

The Orgasm Gap is BS.  No one should feel forced to have orgasms or give orgasms because sex is NOT a competition and approaching sex in this manner is greedy and narcissistic.

Vanessa de Largie has been the sex columnist at Maxim Magazine since 2017, you can read more about her work on her website.

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