Flat White

Bond, James Bond: they/them/ze/zir

18 December 2021

4:00 PM

18 December 2021

4:00 PM

The progressive left’s crusade to normalise pathology shows no sign of slowing down, with calls for the next James Bond to be non-binary.

The idea is, of course, ridiculous since James Bond is ‘fiction’ and non-binary is ‘fantasy’. They are different genres and should not be mixed.

Nevertheless, movie producer Barbara Broccoli – who with her half-brother controls the Bond franchise – told the Girls on Film podcast last week that a non-binary 007 could not be ruled out.

‘Who knows?’ Broccoli said, in response to suggestions that the world’s most famous macho, womanising character could change his pronouns to ‘they/them’ now that Daniel Craig has retired from the role.

‘I mean, I think it’s open. We just have to find the right actor,’ she said.

If true, then the smart money is on one of Pee-Wee Herman or RuPaul playing the next James Bond.

The movie’s plot will likely revolve around Bond – who has changed his codename from 007 to LGB – giving his arch-enemy a ride to a non-denominational, de-radicalization therapy session.

All hell breaks loose when Bond’s Tesla runs out of charge at a toilet stop because Bond took so long deciding which bathroom to use.

In all the confusion, Bond’s nemesis addresses him with the wrong pronoun, leading to an emotionally charged climax in which our hero – clutching a comfort animal, and speaking directly to camera – explains gender theory.

This would be the first Bond movie in which the audience was rooting for the villain!

If Hollywood does decide to neuter Ian Fleming’s famous spy, it will be yet another misreading of the public who have repeatedly shown they will not support popular franchises that suddenly become weird.

Remember the reboot of Ghostbusters with an all-female cast? No? Nor does anyone else. It lost $70 million at the box office.

Terminator: Dark Fate was woke-d into a feminist action movie that no one cared for – the same with Charles Angels.

The addition of transgendered Jedis didn’t improve Star Wars, while a gay wedding failed to save Star Trek Discovery – all of which has been forgotten quicker than Jussie Smollett can say ‘Subway’.

Woke Hollywood is an industry minority trying to cater to a political minority in an industry that relies upon the masses.

And yet, undeterred, the woke continue to insist that everything must be bent to suit their nihilist worldview, no matter the cost.

Bereft of any creativity, they infest every institution. Whether it’s the church, the media, the education system, or the arts – woke hollows it out from the inside until there is nothing left.

It’s only a matter of time before woke Hollywood executives scratch their heads wondering why my teenage sons aren’t rushing to cinemas to see The Fast and the Furious (in hybrid midsize Prius sedans).

James Bond has always been a straight, white, male. His ‘ladies’ man’ attitude is part of the appeal.

To go all non-binary on James Bond would not be about re-imagining the character so much as destroying him – which is the progressive left’s real agenda.

One thing is for sure, the reaction to a non-binary 007 would itself be non-binary. No one would love it and no one would hate it. We’d all just ignore it.

They could call the movie James Bomb, since that is what it would do at the box office.

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