Flat White

The Liberal Party’s mission to end liberalism

12 February 2022

7:00 AM

12 February 2022

7:00 AM

Come the next election, I will be voting the Liberal Party last. My reasoning is very simple. If I am going to be stabbed, I would rather be stabbed in the front than in the back.

Voting the Liberals last also has additional benefits. Not only does it keep the bastards out of parliament, but it also denies the Party the disgraceful, yet overly generous vote-based public funding available.

My vote(s) will almost certainly be going to the Liberal Democrats, who whilst a small and imperfect party, at least strive for actual liberal principles. They won’t get the numbers to form Government, but with luck, they will get Senate seats and with other minor parties will keep whomever actually forms government honest.

To suggest that the current Liberal Party is a shadow of itself is to offend shadows. From the Liberal Party’s website, they claim to stand for:

… the inalienable rights and freedoms of all peoples; and we work towards a lean government that minimises interference in our daily lives; and maximises individual and private sector initiative.

If there were laws that criminalised misleading and deceptive behaviour in politics, as currently exist in commerce, the directors of the Liberal Party would be either bankrupted or in jail.

Lean government. Maximise individual and private initiative. Minimise government interference in daily lives. These are the principles of the Bizarro Liberal Party of Australia and not the actual Liberal Party of Australia.

Inalienable rights. Ha. Freedom of speech, but only if it creates jobs. Rule of law, but only for the benefit of the elected and bureaucratic class. What a joke. What a fraud.


Somewhere in the Australian political sewer, floating next to the Liberal Party, exists the Flux Party. The Flux Party’s platform is essentially electronic mobocracy.

They have an app, an ‘ecosystem’ that allows citizens to direct their representatives’ votes on legislation. Essentially, the member of Parliament (for this Party) would vote per the instructions of the majority of their constituents.

Elected Flux MPs and Senators give up their autonomy and use their votes in line with the outcomes produced by the Flux ecosystem

No judgment. No value-add. No debate to find the greater truth. No negotiation. Bugger minority rights. To hell with complexity and trade-offs.

You may laugh but what is the essential difference between policy by an electronic mob and policy by-polls?

I would propose that Flux merge with the Liberal Party of Australia. Maybe they can call themselves ‘Fluberals’. Together they could offer electronic mobocracy that would at least be a cheaper version of the poll-driven drivel of this Liberal government. If policies and parliamentary votes are made based entirely on polling, small group, or electronically by app, why spend the hundreds of millions on staffers and limousines and travel for these elected clowns. It is completely redundant.

At the 2019 Federal Election I voted for the Liberal Party ahead of Labor. What a mistake. A Prime Minister Shorten could not have wasted more money than Prime Minister Morrison. And even a Prime Minister Albanese could not build a train fast enough to beat the $1.2 trillion debt express captained by Treasurer Frydenberg. All aboard kids on the train to penury central.

Whilst many may lament the last three years, this has been eight and a half years of economic and policy failure.

This was the Liberal Party that in government advocated for the most profligate government-funded maternity leave program all while increasing taxes (thanks Prime Minister Abbott and Treasurer Hockey). This was the Liberal Party that in government blew billions of dollars on a poorly thought-out submarine program jeopardising Australia’s national security while also increasing taxes (thank you Prime Minister Turnbull and Treasurer Morrison). This was the Liberal Party that in government blew billions of dollars on a badly designed JobKeeper scheme throwing money at businesses that did not need it all while pursuing people through Robodebt (thank you Prime Minister Morrison and Treasurer Frydenberg).

The philosophical and policy rot within the Liberal Party is deep and wide and pustulous and needs to be excised like a metastatic cancer.

Will the Liberals rediscover their low tax and small government foundations in opposition? Possible but unlikely. How many current members of Parliament have spoken out against the ever-escalating fiscal vandalism and civil incursions since 2013? Not a murmur. But if the Liberals are in opposition, there is a small chance of some creative turmoil on the right and a small government party may emerge with the potential to form a responsible small ‘l’ liberal government.

It is clear that an election is near, and the Liberal Party is concerned about its prospects. The usual what-aboutism from the flagship shows on the Liberal Party News Network have accelerated (Paul Murray Live and Credlin), deliberately ignoring that there remains a fundamental difference between words and deeds. A Labor government offers the threat of high taxing, big spending, and incompetent government. The Liberal government delivered the actuality of high taxing, big spending, and incompetent government.

Australia’s only hope is for a complete clean-out of the Liberal Party of Australia while liberal and conservative-leaning independents keep the Labor Party honest.

Your vote belongs to you, but I would recommend that whatever you do, you vote the Liberal Party last. And if you are actually feeling small ‘l’ liberal, vote for the Liberal Democrats.

Stephen Spartacus regularly writes at Sparty’s Cast.

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