Matt Purple

The coming war with…um…Canada?

12 January 2022 12:58 am

We begin today by heading north, past Vermont, over Winterfell, above the Arctic Circle, beyond the part of the map…

Biden’s coming year of paralysis

4 January 2022 2:50 pm

The first workday of 2022 and already Washington, DC has been paralyzed by snow. That isn’t saying much, given that…

Build Back Better was doomed from the start

20 December 2021 7:01 am

Joe Manchin was never going to vote for Build Back Better. Now that he’s declared himself a “no” and all…

The war on Christmas comes home

17 December 2021 3:18 am

America’s longest war has just come home. Last week, Fox News’s All-American Christmas Tree, standing merrily outside the channel’s headquarters…

Missing Bob Dole in witless Washington

9 December 2021 2:07 pm

Bob Dole passed away this week, and according to the press coverage, he took with him an entire golden age…

How cable news ruined Thanksgiving

24 November 2021 12:09 pm

Jim Acosta is an edgy, edgy man. You can tell because he uses the word “bullshit” on live TV, which…

Congress: worst anime ever

19 November 2021 4:00 pm

Yes, yes, I know Congress has a lot to worry about these days. But have you seen the anime edit…

I’m a racist, you’re a racist, we are racists all

5 November 2021 12:49 pm

What news network did you watch on election night? Thankfully we all had plenty of options. There was CNN, where…

The McAuliffe clown car crashes

3 November 2021 3:58 pm

Of all the clowns to come prancing out of the Terry McAuliffe campaign car in recent weeks, it was the…

Here come the Nineties

19 October 2021 4:36 pm

Everyone is bullish on natural gas, but I think America’s most inexhaustible resource might be 1990s nostalgia. Every time it…

What if America doesn’t want to ‘Build Back Better’?

18 October 2021 4:36 pm

We begin today with the reigning alpha of the self-celebrated political super-staffers. Enter Ron Klain, President Joe Biden’s chief of…

A government of drunken sailors

1 October 2021 3:50 pm

It seems strange, but just two decades ago the United States government had a balanced budget. Bill Clinton had run…

Joe Biden’s history tour from hell

28 September 2021 4:54 pm

Breaking news from off the wires this morning. Apparently the guy who almost punched out a Detroit factory worker on…

A lament for the overtaxed smoker

23 September 2021 2:53 pm

There is a spot of Washington DC, a few blocks of downtown not far from the White House, where a…

Jeopardy! is in trouble

16 September 2021 6:33 pm

THIS…iiiiiis Jeopardy! And it’s time now for today’s final answer. This pack of gibbering monsters is witlessly tearing down everything…

Nicki Minaj blasphemes against the woke

15 September 2021 3:49 pm

Nicki Minaj has weighed in on the coronavirus vaccine, and the nation hasn’t been this relieved since Katy Perry peer-reviewed…

9/11 and the war on terror kiddie table

10 September 2021 2:43 pm

The thing about childhood is that eventually you’re supposed to grow up. It’s with this in mind that we turn…

Our Handmaid’s Tale hysteria

8 September 2021 4:14 pm

If you read one book this fall, make it The Handmaid’s Tale TV show. And then don’t read another book,…

Biden’s mad-lib bungle 

28 August 2021 6:12 pm

The terrorist attack at Kabul airport on Thursday was so horrific as to summon the word ‘unprecedented’. But it was…

Why European criticism of the US Afghanistan pullout is so refreshing

23 August 2021 6:19 am

You actually can spell ‘North Atlantic Treaty Organization’ without ‘America’, as it turns out. You can also, however, spell ‘North Atlantic…

I think Donald Trump’s email team is trying to murder me

18 August 2021 4:10 pm

I remember well the day this all began. The rain was slanting through the gray air and drops were plinking…

A lament for Washington DC (no, seriously)

3 August 2021 1:07 pm

Washington DC — I’ll try not to overstate things here — does not have a stellar reputation. Most Americans regard…

Can I join Marjorie Taylor Greene in Twitter jail?

27 July 2021 2:28 pm

Marjorie Taylor Greene held a press conference late last week. It took place inside, meaning the Jews with the space…

My coup would have been better than your coup

20 July 2021 8:41 am

Donald Trump has issued another statement after being criticized by his former staffers in recent days. Here’s an excerpt: ‘Every…

We are all Donald Rumsfeld

5 July 2021 1:58 am

Donald Rumsfeld died last week — and it’s just so easy, isn’t it? It’s so convenient to dance on the…