Melissa Kite

Real life

25 March 2017 9:00 am

‘Mesdames et messieurs, allow me to introduce you to your meals,’ said the waiter. Oh lordy, I thought. Here we…

Real life

18 March 2017 9:00 am

Someone has given the builder boyfriend an iPhone and things will never be the same. Until now, he has always…

Real life

11 March 2017 9:00 am

If it takes any longer to find a buyer for my London flat I am going to start coming to…

Real life

9 March 2017 3:00 pm

If it takes any longer to find a buyer for my London flat I am going to start coming to…

Real life

4 March 2017 9:00 am

Shoot me if I ever let slip I’ve been mucking out with rubber gloves and a dustpan and brush. As…

Real life

2 March 2017 3:00 pm

Shoot me if I ever let slip I’ve been mucking out with rubber gloves and a dustpan and brush. As…

Real life

23 February 2017 3:00 pm

Unexpectedly re-available is a very good phrase. I have often seen it applied to house advertisements and thought how fabulously…

Real life

23 February 2017 3:00 pm

Unexpectedly re-available is a very good phrase. I have often seen it applied to house advertisements and thought how fabulously…

Real life

18 February 2017 9:00 am

Fine, so I got it completely wrong. It turns out the sale of my flat was not held up by…

Real life

16 February 2017 3:00 pm

Fine, so I got it completely wrong. It turns out the sale of my flat was not held up by…

Real life

11 February 2017 9:00 am

The builder boyfriend declared himself very happy with his £65 pee. He insisted it was good value for money because…

Real life

9 February 2017 3:00 pm

The builder boyfriend declared himself very happy with his £65 pee. He insisted it was good value for money because…

Real life

9 February 2017 3:00 pm

The builder boyfriend declared himself very happy with his £65 pee. He insisted it was good value for money because…

Real life

4 February 2017 9:00 am

As if by magic, a sign that I am doing the right thing by moving out of London arrived in…

Real life

2 February 2017 3:00 pm

As if by magic, a sign that I am doing the right thing by moving out of London arrived in…

Real life

28 January 2017 9:00 am

The problem holding up my house move turns out to be a wiggle. Have you ever had a wiggle? It…

Real life

26 January 2017 3:00 pm

The problem holding up my house move turns out to be a wiggle. Have you ever had a wiggle? It…

How did you kill that hat?

21 January 2017 9:00 am

The well-dressed lady turned the fur collar over in her hands and fixed me with a withering stare. ‘Is this…

Real life

21 January 2017 9:00 am

If the buyer asks me any more questions I am going to pull out. I have to put my foot…

Real life

19 January 2017 3:00 pm

If the buyer asks me any more questions I am going to pull out. I have to put my foot…

Real life

14 January 2017 9:00 am

A few moments after saying the communion rite, the priest looked at his congregation and uttered easily the most disturbing…

Real life

12 January 2017 3:00 pm

A few moments after saying the communion rite, the priest looked at his congregation and uttered easily the most disturbing…

Real life

7 January 2017 9:00 am

The most annoying thing about starting a new year is how long it takes for everyone to crank themselves back…

Real life

5 January 2017 3:00 pm

The most annoying thing about starting a new year is how long it takes for everyone to crank themselves back…

Real life

29 December 2016 3:00 pm

What a fraught, divisive, infuriating sort of year it’s been. It started with me attempting to go on a blind…