Nick Newman

‘I’m stockpiling my dinner in anticipation of the shortages ahead.’

Dinner

28 February 2019 3:00 pm

‘It’s the shortages and civil war that’s putting me off going back to Britain.’

Return

21 February 2019 3:00 pm

‘At least Chris Grayling isn’t in charge of the ferry.’

Ferry

16 February 2019 9:00 am

‘Haven’t we been punished enough?’

Prison

7 February 2019 3:00 pm

‘Same again — otherwise known as Plan B.’

Plan B

31 January 2019 3:00 pm

‘We hope there’s a shortage of petrol for bombs.’

Petrol bombs

31 January 2019 3:00 pm

‘I could do with a laugh.’

TV

24 January 2019 3:00 pm

‘So, what’s Plan B?’

Cliff

17 January 2019 3:00 pm

‘Since Veganuary she’s been very fussy about what food she photographs.’

Veganuary

10 January 2019 3:00 pm

‘Happy Nooooooooo Year.’

DUP

3 January 2019 3:00 pm

Cracker

13 December 2018 3:00 pm

Christmas party

13 December 2018 3:00 pm

‘It’s a desperate fight for survival in a hostile environment.’

Debate

6 December 2018 3:00 pm

‘How embarrassing — we’ve been linked to a Tory donor!’

Escort

29 November 2018 3:00 pm

‘I’m counting on Jeremy Hunt to get me out.’

Turkeys

29 November 2018 3:00 pm

‘We can’t decide which drawing board to go back to.’

Drawing Board

22 November 2018 3:00 pm

‘This free fruit initiative is a terrific idea!’

Fruit

15 November 2018 3:00 pm

‘We suspect Humpty upset the Saudis.’

Humpty

8 November 2018 3:00 pm

‘All that futility and loss has given me an idea for a referendum.’

Western Front

8 November 2018 3:00 pm

‘I’ve come as the living dead.’

Party

1 November 2018 3:00 pm

‘Nope — still can’t see Brexit.’

Mystic

25 October 2018 2:00 pm

‘There’s an outbreak of Mad Human Disease.’

Moospaper

25 October 2018 2:00 pm

‘If there’s global warming then how come there’s a cold war?’

Dunno

18 October 2018 2:00 pm

‘I don’t care what the sales are so long as they’re healthy.’

Publishing

18 October 2018 2:00 pm

‘We are innocent Russian tourists on riding holiday, looking forward to a good hack…’

Passport

11 October 2018 2:00 pm