Competition
Spectator competition winners: ‘Why must it always be tomato soup?’
In Competition No. 3217, you were invited to supply a poem that begins or ends with the line ‘Why must…
Spectator competition winners: Bridget Jones’s Bible
In Competition No. 3216, you were invited to retell a well-known biblical story in a secular style that would enhance…
Spectator competition winners: In memoriam Geronimo the alpaca
In Competition No. 3215, you were -invited to supply a poem about Geronimo the alpaca. The camelid’s fate was finally…
Spectator competition winners: the Mona Lisa has her say
In Competition No. 3214, you were invited to choose a well-known painted portrait and let the subject speak for itself,…
Spectator competition winners: Villanelles after Elizabeth Bishop
In Competition No. 3213 you were invited to submit a villanelle whose first line is: ‘The art of [insert gerund…
Spectator competition winners: Mrs Malaprop turns tour guide
In Competition No. 3212 you were invited to provide a spiel that a well-known character from the field of fact…
Spectator competition winners: Nursery rhymes for the pandemic
In Competition No. 3211 you were invited to submit a nursery rhyme inspired by the pandemic. When I set this…
Spectator competition winners: poems inspired by the phonetic alphabet
In Competition No. 3210, you were invited to provide a poem or a piece of prose containing words from the…
Spectator competition winners: Shakespeare’s Seven Ages of a Tory MP
In Competition No. 3209, you were invited to provide Shakespeare’s Seven Ages of a Tory MP. Inspiration for this challenge…
Spectator competition winners: W.S. Gilbert’s guide to wedded bliss
In Competition No. 3208, you were invited to submit a recipe for marital bliss on behalf of an author of…
Spectator competition winners: Donald Trump writes a political thriller
In Competition No. 3207, you were invited to supply an extract from a thriller, written by a well-known politician, that…
Sonnets on the universe
In Competition No. 3206, you were invited to supply a sonnet on the universe. The late Frank Kermode reckoned that…
A literary-critical analysis of Abba’s ‘Waterloo’
In Competition No. 3205, you were invited to supply a rigorous literary-critical analysis of a well-known pop song. Thanks to…
Spectator competition winners: Rondeaus on a summery theme
In Competition No. 3204, you were invited to supply a rondeau with a summery theme. The best-known English rondeau is…
Extracts from Shakespeare’s newly discovered play, Charles III
In Competition No. 3203, you were invited to supply an extract from the newly discovered Shakespeare play Charles III. I…
P.G. Wodehouse’s Aunts Among the Chickens
In Competition No. 3202, you were invited to replace the word ‘love’ in a well-known book title of your choice…
Henry James sells Heinz baked beans
In Competition No. 3201, a contest inspired by Salman ‘naughty but nice’ Rushdie, you were invited to submit advertising copy…
Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales retold
In Competition No. 3200, you were invited to retell one of Chaucer’s tales in the style of another author. The…
What Boris Johnson’s vacuum cleaner saw
In Competition No. 3199, you were invited to supply a poem in which an inanimate object comments on its owner’s…
Spectator competition winners: Enid Blyton explains economics to children
In Competition No. 3198, you were invited to supply an extract from a children’s book that is designed to explain…
Spectator competition winners: poems on the death of Prince Philip
In Competition No. 3197, you were invited to supply a poem to mark the death of Prince Philip. I wondered…
Replies from Shakespeare’s dark lady and Frances Cornford’s fat woman
In Competition No. 3196, you were invited to supply a reply to the poet from Frances Cornford’s fat woman or…
Spectator competition winners: racy versions of the classics
In Competition No. 3195, you were invited to submit an extract from the racier, mass-market version of a well-known literary…
Spectator competition winners: a kiwi fruit for Emily Dickinson
In Competition No. 3194, a nod to Keats and Tony Harrison, you were invited to write a poem about a…
Spectator competition winners: royal clerihews
In Competition No. 3193 you were invited to submit clerihews (two couplets, AABB, metrically clunky, humorous in tone) on members…