Competition

Spectator competition winners: ‘Why must it always be tomato soup?’

25 September 2021 9:00 am

In Competition No. 3217, you were invited to supply a poem that begins or ends with the line ‘Why must…

Spectator competition winners: Bridget Jones’s Bible

18 September 2021 9:00 am

In Competition No. 3216, you were invited to retell a well-known biblical story in a secular style that would enhance…

Spectator competition winners: In memoriam Geronimo the alpaca

11 September 2021 9:00 am

In Competition No. 3215, you were -invited to supply a poem about Geronimo the alpaca. The camelid’s fate was finally…

Spectator competition winners: the Mona Lisa has her say

4 September 2021 9:00 am

In Competition No. 3214, you were invited to choose a well-known painted portrait and let the subject speak for itself,…

Spectator competition winners: Villanelles after Elizabeth Bishop

28 August 2021 9:00 am

In Competition No. 3213 you were invited to submit a villanelle whose first line is: ‘The art of [insert gerund…

Spectator competition winners: Mrs Malaprop turns tour guide

21 August 2021 9:00 am

In Competition No. 3212 you were invited to provide a spiel that a well-known character from the field of fact…

Spectator competition winners: Nursery rhymes for the pandemic

14 August 2021 9:00 am

In Competition No. 3211 you were invited to submit a nursery rhyme inspired by the pandemic. When I set this…

Spectator competition winners: poems inspired by the phonetic alphabet

7 August 2021 9:00 am

In Competition No. 3210, you were invited to provide a poem or a piece of prose containing words from the…

Spectator competition winners: Shakespeare’s Seven Ages of a Tory MP

31 July 2021 9:00 am

In Competition No. 3209, you were invited to provide Shakespeare’s Seven Ages of a Tory MP. Inspiration for this challenge…

Spectator competition winners: W.S. Gilbert’s guide to wedded bliss

24 July 2021 9:00 am

In Competition No. 3208, you were invited to submit a recipe for marital bliss on behalf of an author of…

Spectator competition winners: Donald Trump writes a political thriller

17 July 2021 9:00 am

In Competition No. 3207, you were invited to supply an extract from a thriller, written by a well-known politician, that…

Sonnets on the universe

10 July 2021 9:00 am

In Competition No. 3206, you were invited to supply a sonnet on the universe. The late Frank Kermode reckoned that…

A literary-critical analysis of Abba’s ‘Waterloo’

3 July 2021 9:00 am

In Competition No. 3205, you were invited to supply a rigorous literary-critical analysis of a well-known pop song. Thanks to…

Spectator competition winners: Rondeaus on a summery theme

26 June 2021 9:00 am

In Competition No. 3204, you were invited to supply a rondeau with a summery theme. The best-known English rondeau is…

Extracts from Shakespeare’s newly discovered play, Charles III

19 June 2021 9:00 am

In Competition No. 3203, you were invited to supply an extract from the newly discovered Shakespeare play Charles III. I…

P.G. Wodehouse’s Aunts Among the Chickens

12 June 2021 9:00 am

In Competition No. 3202, you were invited to replace the word ‘love’ in a well-known book title of your choice…

Henry James sells Heinz baked beans

5 June 2021 9:00 am

In Competition No. 3201, a contest inspired by Salman ‘naughty but nice’ Rushdie, you were invited to submit advertising copy…

Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales retold

29 May 2021 9:00 am

In Competition No. 3200, you were invited to retell one of Chaucer’s tales in the style of another author. The…

What Boris Johnson’s vacuum cleaner saw

22 May 2021 9:00 am

In Competition No. 3199, you were invited to supply a poem in which an inanimate object comments on its owner’s…

Spectator competition winners: Enid Blyton explains economics to children

15 May 2021 9:00 am

In Competition No. 3198, you were invited to supply an extract from a children’s book that is designed to explain…

Spectator competition winners: poems on the death of Prince Philip

8 May 2021 9:00 am

In Competition No. 3197, you were invited to supply a poem to mark the death of Prince Philip. I wondered…

Replies from Shakespeare’s dark lady and Frances Cornford’s fat woman

1 May 2021 9:00 am

In Competition No. 3196, you were invited to supply a reply to the poet from Frances Cornford’s fat woman or…

Spectator competition winners: racy versions of the classics

24 April 2021 9:00 am

In Competition No. 3195, you were invited to submit an extract from the racier, mass-market version of a well-known literary…

Spectator competition winners: a kiwi fruit for Emily Dickinson

17 April 2021 9:00 am

In Competition No. 3194, a nod to Keats and Tony Harrison, you were invited to write a poem about a…

Spectator competition winners: royal clerihews

10 April 2021 9:00 am

In Competition No. 3193 you were invited to submit clerihews (two couplets, AABB, metrically clunky, humorous in tone) on members…