Competition
TripAdvisor reviews — with added spice
In Competition No. 3142 you were invited to supply a review on TripAdvisor that has been spiced up with a…
Songs to wash your hands by
In Competition No. 3141, you were invited to submit a song we cansing instead of ‘Happy Birthday’ during hand-washing. Congratulations…
The secret lives of poets
In Competition No. 3140 you were invited to submit a poem in the style of a famous poet in which…
Spectator competition winners: Grave thoughts
In Competition No. 3139 you were invited to submit a four-line verse epitaph for a well-known person, living or dead.…
Spectator competition winners: lines on a young lady’s Instagram
In Competition No. 3138 you were invited to submit a poem entitled ‘Lines on a Young Lady’s Instagram’. Thanks to…
By George
In Competition No. 3137, to mark the 70th anniversary of George Orwell’s death, you were invited to submit a short…
3136: Love me don't
In Competition No. 3136 you were invited to submit a lonely hearts ad guaranteed to send those looking for love…
Just the job
In Competition No. 3135 you were invited to submit an application letter for a job at No. 10 from a fictional…
Cat call
In Competition No. 3134 you were invited to submit a poem featuring one of T.S. Eliot’s practical cats getting to…
Competition: Food glorious food
In Competition No. 3133 you were invited to provide a passage about food written in the style of a well-known…
Bizarre books
In Competition No. 3132 you were invited to submit an extract from one of the following books: Noah Gets Naked:…
You must remember this
In Competition No. 3131 you were invited to submit a poem beginning ‘Yes. I remember…’ This challenge was suggested by…
Trochaics
In Competition No. 3130 you were invited to add to Sam Leith’s lines about Boris Johnson, written in the metre…
The night before
In Competition No. 3129 you were invited to submit a poem entitled ‘’Twas the Night Before Brexit’. That seasonal classic…
Dear Santa
In Competition No. 3128 you were invited to submit letters to Santa written in the style of the author of…
Brow lines
In Competition No. 3127 you were invited to submit Shakespeare’s newly discovered ‘Woeful ballad to his mistress’ eyebrows’, as referred…
What’s in a name?
In Competition No. 3126 you were invited to rearrange the letters of the names of poets (e.g. Basho: ‘has B.O.’)…
First or last
In Competition No. 3125 you were invited to compose a comically appalling first or final paragraph of the memoir of…
It’s a date!
In Competition No. 3124 you were invited to compose clerihews about any date in the calendar. I was very grateful…
Station to station
In Competition No. 3123 you were invited to submit a poem that begins ‘By Waterloo Station I sat down and…
Much have I travelled
In Competition No. 3122, to mark the demise of the 178-year-old travel company, you were invited to submit a poem…
Going concern
In Competition No. 3121 you were invited to submit a song entitled ‘50 Ways to Leave the White House’. …
Back space
In Competition No. 3120 you were invited to submit a poem reflecting on the Apollo 11 moon landing written in…
Watch the birdie
In Competition No. 3119 you were invited to submit a poem about yellowhammers. This sparrow-sized songbird has inspired poetry from…
Here be monsters
In Competition No. 3118, which was inspired by Joan Didion’s wonderful essay of that title, you were invited to submit…