Advice
Dear Mary: Do I have to display my friend’s awful painting?
Q. A long-standing artist friend, whose work now commands high prices, has sent me out of the blue a present…
Dear Mary: How can I get my cleaner to stop complaining?
Q. My cleaner is industrious and trustworthy but she doesn’t have many people to talk to and evidently looks forward…
Dear Mary, from Matt Hancock: after an eventful year, how should I get in touch with old friends?
From Lady Antonia Fraser Q. I enjoy getting readers’ letters, but there is one category I am at a loss…
Dear Mary: How do I politely avoid going to a memorial service?
Q. I will shortly be attending a major social gathering in London at which I can look forward to seeing…
Dear Mary: How do I get my masseuse to stop talking?
Q. Our two daughters often bring friends down for the weekend. These friends are more than welcome; we enjoy their…
Dear Mary: How do I stop a dinner guest double-dipping?
Q. During lockdown I made good friends with a neighbour who I would never have met otherwise. This man lives…
Dear Mary: How do I get rid of my terrible cleaner?
Q. I have recently become a widow. Since my son is away at university, I had the idea of charging…
Dear Mary: How do I stop my grey-haired friend giving away my true age?
Q. I never lie about my age but I try not to think — or talk — about it. Now…
Dear Mary: How do we get our friends to pay for the carpet they ruined?
Q. We have had some rather rich Argentines to stay. No one was able to come in to help before…
Dear Mary: How do I stop my husband repeating himself?
Q. A very old friend has rented a holiday house and invited my husband and me to stay. The property…
Dear Mary: What is the etiquette of greeting a friend who is engaged in a ceremonial display?
Q. Passing Buckingham Palace in a taxi the other day, I saw the ceremonial wing of the Household Division prancing…
Dear Mary: How can I stop friends asking to stay in my holiday cottage?
Q. My beloved wife has been studying Chinese metaphysics for 18 months. Our house and garden have been badly neglected…
Dear Mary: How do I get my neighbours to tidy their front gardens?
Q. I live in a row of town houses with a communal strip of garden in front. Three of the…
Dear Mary: When is it acceptable to make a French exit?
Q. The other night, while hosting a house party, I was one of only three people still chatting by the…
Dear Mary: Has lockdown de-civilised my husband?
Q. Last night I went to dinner with people I had never met before. Because the host was a friend…
Dear Mary: What’s the etiquette of loo-flushing for overnight guests?
Q. My husband and I have started receiving invitations to large summer events scheduled for after 21 June. We have…
Dear Mary: How do I reject a wedding invitation without causing offence?
Q. I have just been invited to a wedding where the groom will be the only person I know. Much…
Dear Mary: How do we stop chatty workmen from disturbing us?
Q. I have been working (from home) for a TV comedy production company for a year. My job is scouting…
Dear Mary: How do I tell my neighbour she’s let herself go in lockdown?
Q. Recently an old acquaintance, notorious for never penning a ‘thank you’ note, emailed me telling me he was being…
Dear Mary: Why is my 87-year-old mother emailing me risque jokes?
Q. My mother, aged 87, has taken to forwarding me by email slightly risqué jokes. Her carer is the recipient…
Dear Mary: What should I do about my husband’s schoolboy table habits?
Q. My husband has always worked extremely hard and now does so from home — so I go to great…
Dear Mary: Is my husband’s forgetfulness about fastening his flies costing us friends?
Q. I was instrumental in finding some much-needed work for a local retired secretary/PA when I recommended her for the…
Dear Mary: How do we thank a friend when we’ve forgotten what they sent us?
Q. Following the birth of our child we were deluged with cards, gifts and money from kind family and friends.…
Dear Mary: How can we set up our single friends in lockdown?
Q. My husband and I have two single friends who we believe should be introduced. In days gone by, we…
Dear Mary, from Joanna Lumley: what should I do with my excess Christmas cards?
From Joanna Lumley Q. We receive a huge number of Christmas cards every year. When I take them all down…
