Etiquette
Dear Mary: Do I have to display my friend’s awful painting?
Q. A long-standing artist friend, whose work now commands high prices, has sent me out of the blue a present…
Dear Mary: How can I get my cleaner to stop complaining?
Q. My cleaner is industrious and trustworthy but she doesn’t have many people to talk to and evidently looks forward…
Dear Mary, from Matt Hancock: after an eventful year, how should I get in touch with old friends?
From Lady Antonia Fraser Q. I enjoy getting readers’ letters, but there is one category I am at a loss…
Dear Mary: How do I politely avoid going to a memorial service?
Q. I will shortly be attending a major social gathering in London at which I can look forward to seeing…
Dear Mary: How do I stop a dinner guest double-dipping?
Q. During lockdown I made good friends with a neighbour who I would never have met otherwise. This man lives…
Dear Mary: Should I pay to charge my electric car at a friend’s house?
Q. An acquaintance suggested organising a celebratory dinner in honour of some mutual friends. He asked my husband and me,…
Dear Mary: How do I get rid of my terrible cleaner?
Q. I have recently become a widow. Since my son is away at university, I had the idea of charging…
Dear Mary: How do I stop my grey-haired friend giving away my true age?
Q. I never lie about my age but I try not to think — or talk — about it. Now…
Dear Mary: How do we get our friends to pay for the carpet they ruined?
Q. We have had some rather rich Argentines to stay. No one was able to come in to help before…
Dear Mary: How do I stop my husband repeating himself?
Q. A very old friend has rented a holiday house and invited my husband and me to stay. The property…
Why am I so angry?
Why have we become so quick to anger?
Dear Mary: What is the etiquette of greeting a friend who is engaged in a ceremonial display?
Q. Passing Buckingham Palace in a taxi the other day, I saw the ceremonial wing of the Household Division prancing…
Dear Mary: How can I stop friends asking to stay in my holiday cottage?
Q. My beloved wife has been studying Chinese metaphysics for 18 months. Our house and garden have been badly neglected…
Dear Mary: How do I get my neighbours to tidy their front gardens?
Q. I live in a row of town houses with a communal strip of garden in front. Three of the…
Dear Mary: When is it acceptable to make a French exit?
Q. The other night, while hosting a house party, I was one of only three people still chatting by the…
Dear Mary: How do we stop our friends’ dogs wrecking our house?
Q. We have old friends who live in the northern hinterlands and have a property in Provence where they normally…
Dear Mary: Has lockdown de-civilised my husband?
Q. Last night I went to dinner with people I had never met before. Because the host was a friend…
Dear Mary: How do we tell our friend that her hairstyle doesn’t suit her?
Q. At a lunch party, I was getting on so well with someone I had not met before. She knew…
In our narcissistic age, nothing beats good manners
Why rudeness doesn’t pay
Dear Mary: should we exclude our friend for not having had his Covid vaccine?
Q. Once restrictions are lifted, our annual walking group has planned a week’s walk with after-walk gatherings in a different…
Dear Mary: What is the etiquette around gifts for virtual weddings?
Q. We have been invited to a virtual wedding. Is it correct form to send a present?— P.F., Barrow Street,…
Dear Mary: How do I tell my fiancee that she eats with her mouth open?
Q. I’ve recently been approached by a very good friend who — with genuinely admirable candour and tact — pointed…
Dear Mary: How do I cope with colleagues’ bad habits now I’m back in the office?
Q. I am placed in a social dilemma due to a proposed visit on the last weekend of June by…
Dear Mary: How can I stop my sister-in-law pinching food off my plate?
Q. Since the relaxation of lockdown, my brother and his wife have started coming to our garden for takeaway meals.…
Dear Mary: What’s the etiquette of loo-flushing for overnight guests?
Q. My husband and I have started receiving invitations to large summer events scheduled for after 21 June. We have…
