Etiquette
Dear Mary: How can we use our neighbour’s tennis court without inviting him to play?
Q. Our neighbours have a tennis court which, under the property’s previous owner, we enjoyed playing men’s fours on. The…
Dear Mary: How do I reject a wedding invitation without causing offence?
Q. I have just been invited to a wedding where the groom will be the only person I know. Much…
Dear Mary: How do we stop chatty workmen from disturbing us?
Q. I have been working (from home) for a TV comedy production company for a year. My job is scouting…
Dear Mary: How can I prioritise ‘first division’ friends after lockdown?
Q. Before Covid, I was staying with friends in the country every other weekend. As a single man living in…
Dear Mary: What should my wife and I do with the risque photos we took in our youth?
Q. I hesitate to bring you this problem, but I suspect it is not that uncommon. Early in our very…
Dear Mary: How do I tell my neighbour she’s let herself go in lockdown?
Q. Recently an old acquaintance, notorious for never penning a ‘thank you’ note, emailed me telling me he was being…
Will social kisses survive Covid?
There is a ‘pervasive presence of Chinese military-linked conglomerates and universities in the sponsorship of high-technology research centres in many…
Dear Mary: Why is my 87-year-old mother emailing me risque jokes?
Q. My mother, aged 87, has taken to forwarding me by email slightly risqué jokes. Her carer is the recipient…
Dear Mary: What should I do about my husband’s schoolboy table habits?
Q. My husband has always worked extremely hard and now does so from home — so I go to great…
Dear Mary: Is my husband’s forgetfulness about fastening his flies costing us friends?
Q. I was instrumental in finding some much-needed work for a local retired secretary/PA when I recommended her for the…
Dear Mary: How do we thank a friend when we’ve forgotten what they sent us?
Q. Following the birth of our child we were deluged with cards, gifts and money from kind family and friends.…
Dear Mary, from Joanna Lumley: what should I do with my excess Christmas cards?
From Joanna Lumley Q. We receive a huge number of Christmas cards every year. When I take them all down…
Dear Mary: Should I give my postman a Christmas present?
Q. I am extremely fond of an artist friend, despite the fact that I have never liked her work or…
Dear Mary: How do I stop the cleaner ‘helping’ with my jigsaw?
Q. Unlike my wife, I am tiring of Netflix. Wanting a project to occupy me during these long dark nights,…
Save me from the cult of instant intimacy
On the cult of instant intimacy
Dear Mary: How can I stop my boss giving me a Christmas hamper?
Q. For many years my boss gave each member of his small team a very generous Christmas gift voucher from…
First names are for friends and family, not bosses and builders
The death of the surname
Dear Mary: Will my friend be offended if I buy her an XL dress?
Q. My son has moved his girlfriend into our fairly small house for the second lockdown. I am grateful for…
Dear Mary: How do I cope with cooking for food snobs?
Q. I have a delightful young goddaughter who, thanks to the virus, I have not seen since last year. Her…
Dear Mary: How can I wind up a Zoom call with a chatty friend?
Q. Is there a tactful way to wind up a Zoom call when one of you has more time on…
Dear Mary: Why is my brother making me pay £400 for a drawing of my cat?
Q. I would welcome your advice on a tricky family matter. For my 70th birthday earlier this year my brother…
Dear Mary: Can I still socialise with my virus-denying friends?
Q. An old friend offered to treat me to a birthday lunch, provided I choose and book the restaurant myself.…
Dear Mary: We’ve had to downsize our wedding – can we still ask everyone for presents?
Q. A year ago we sent out 150 save-the-date notices for our wedding this December. We are still going ahead,…
Dear Mary: How can my celebrity husband still be recognised in a face mask?
Q. I am running out of suitable responses to a friend who now has the slightest possible connection to one…
Dear Mary: How should I handle my bitchy friend’s birthday cards?
Q. Many years ago I was asked to officiate at a funeral for a family I did not know. As…
