Horse
Save me from middle managers dressed up as Spiderman
‘You’ve got your essay on your back, then?’ said the stable yard owner as I headed out with Darcy on…
The Grand National proved the naysayers wrong – again
When the photo finish confirmed that Tiger Roll and Davy Russell had held on to win the Grand National by…
Save me from stupid women
We live in a cynical world. One cannot simply advertise something for sale and expect people to believe what one…
Do horses really need solariums and therapeutic rugs?
In the days when it was fashionable to mock the IQ of an American President who had taken the showbiz…
My unhealthy obsession with Brian May
‘I bet Brian May isn’t lying on his back in a field shelter wondering how long it’s going to take…
My horse is a psychopath — and you’d better believe it
Why do people find it so hard to believe that a horse can be a psychopath? Not an obvious, screaming…
Robin Oakley: Let’s hear it for the girls
It has been a good year for the girls. The filly Enable was the horse of the year, winning not…
My horse is a cross between Hannibal Lecter and Reggie Kray
While the vet was checking Gracie, I asked him to take a look at Tara, the old chestnut hunter. Just…
I’ve seen the new face of veterinary medicine – and I don’t like it
After a week of cold hosing, I decided I would have to get the vet to the small swelling on…
My hot tips for the jump season
Richard Johnson may already have 100 winners in the bag, and Paul Nicholls may already have banked £750,000 worth of…
Life is tough at the bottom of the equality heap
The incident I am about to recount I make no judgment about, other than that I believe it tells us…
Are my horses conspiring against me?
When it comes to horses, troubles come in multitudes. Multitudes of lame legs. Gracie, the hunter pony, kicked things off…
The founding father of bookmaking
Imagine Ryan Moore getting caught on the line by a rival’s late spurt at the end of a Newmarket race…
The turf
Racing moves off the back pages only when its opponents have bad news to gloat over. Two examples lately have…
Real life
Darcy is high-maintenance, so I decided to leave her in the posh livery yard, with its luxuriant shavings beds and…
The turf
Khalid Abdullah, John Gosden and Frankie Dettori — owner, trainer and jockey — already figured among the great names of…
I am handmaiden to a foul-mouthed member of the royal family
Some people call their house Dun Roamin’ to sum up their state of mind. After ten weeks ministering to my…
Jump-racing bids farewell to the great John Ferguson
Writing a Turf column before the Cheltenham Festival, as the Spectator schedule requires, which you are reading only after the…
My horse's race career hangs by a tendon
‘Racing is 99.9 per cent disappointment,’ said the trainer philosophically, as I sat in the yard sipping coffee, waiting for…
Inside the mind of a racehorse trainer
There are now two Kings of the Marlborough Downs. Leading jumps trainer Alan King has long trained top horses at…
Doing The Birdie Song on the back of a trainee racehorse
‘Start at the back and try to pass as many horses as you can,’ said the trainer, as we stepped…
Why the north needs Red Rum
The well-bred Sea Pigeon, who had finished seventh in the Derby when trained at Beckhampton by Jeremy Tree, was later…
The sabs hate us because we’re patriotic, top-rate tax-paying, law-abiding scum
‘You lot are a disgrace! Chasing after defenceless animals on horseback!’ The bearded anti was on his mountain bike on…
They shoot horses, don’t they?
By the time you read this I will have delivered my long-awaited speech to the World Horse Welfare annual conference…
Puppy parents’ evening — or money for old rope
A letter has arrived summoning me to parents’ evening to discuss Cydney’s progress. Yes, I am aware that Cydney is…
