Restaurants

Barry Humphries’s diary: The bookshop ruined by Harry Potter

8 November 2014 9:00 am

Do fish have loins? Last Tuesday, in a pretentious restaurant, I ordered a ‘loin of sea trout’. It looked just…

Want to shake hands with your dinner? Beast is your kind of restaurant

1 November 2014 9:00 am

Beast is next to Debenhams on Oxford Street and it is not conventionally beast-like; rather it is monetised and bespoke…

Gymkhana is morally disgusting – and fortunately the food’s disgusting too

18 October 2014 9:00 am

Gymkhana is a fashionable Indian restaurant in Albemarle Street. It was, according to its natty website, ‘inspired by Colonial Indian…

Dear Mary: Can I run out on an apprenticeship for my dream interview?

11 October 2014 9:00 am

Q. I have been trying to get an apprenticeship in fashion for over a year without success. I just had…

Today’s Disney princesses look like Russian mafia wives. This is their café

4 October 2014 9:00 am

The Disney Café is a gaudy hell on the fourth floor of Harrods, Knightsbridge. It is adjacent to the Harrods…

Rextail: a restaurant for billionaire children

20 September 2014 9:00 am

Rextail is a restaurant for billionaire children, such as Richie Rich. Its owner, Arcady Novikov, has already opened a restaurant…

Fischer’s is like visiting Vienna without having to go to Austria (thank God)

6 September 2014 9:00 am

Fischer’s is Austria made safe for liberals, gays, Jews and other Untermenschen riffraff, because it is a restaurant, not a…

Rhubarb has the loveliest, craziest dining room I have ever seen

23 August 2014 9:00 am

The Edinburgh Fringe Festival: the city is full of glassy-eyed narcissists eating haggis pizza off flyers that say Michael Gove:…

L’Escargot is Soho as Soho sees itself

9 August 2014 9:00 am

L’Escargot, or the Snail, is a famous restaurant on Greek Street, Soho, opposite the old Establishment club; the oldest French…

At the Chiltern Firehouse, smugness should be on the menu

28 June 2014 9:00 am

Here then is Gatsby’s house, after an invasion by the Daily Mail. It is called the Chiltern Firehouse. It is…

Harry’s Bar, where a slice of cake costs €32 – and is worth it

31 May 2014 9:00 am

Harry’s Bar is a dull pale box. This is remarkable in Venice, which is a hospice for dying palaces, held…

The rudest restaurants in London

17 May 2014 9:00 am

Wong Kei is a mad Chinese restaurant on Wardour Street, Chinatown. Until recently it was considered the rudest restaurant in…

After visiting the Cherwell Boathouse, I might spare Oxford from burning

3 May 2014 9:00 am

It is now two decades since I lived in Oxford. I was then a drunk and lonely puddle of a…

Dear Mary: How can I escape the tyranny of teacher presents?

5 April 2014 9:00 am

Q. It’s only April and yet I am being emailed by parents who have already taken charge and are drumming…

Gordon Ramsay joins in the posh invasion of Battersea

5 April 2014 9:00 am

London House is in Battersea, which some people call South Chelsea, but is more East Wandsworth to my mind; or…

So is Moro a Tory restaurant now?

8 March 2014 9:00 am

Moro (‘moorish’ or ‘sexist’) is a Spanish restaurant on Exmouth Market, near the bones of the old Guardian and Observer…

The Fable would do better as an American Psycho theme bar

22 February 2014 9:00 am

The Fable is three floors high and two days old, a monster newly hatched on the Holborn Viaduct; deep below…

Dear Mary: What do I do now I haven’t sent a thank-you letter?

15 February 2014 9:00 am

Q. Over New Year I stayed with a man who combines being a generous and exciting host with a punctilious…

Dear Mary: How can I hide my tattoo from the in-laws?

25 January 2014 9:00 am

Q. I have a tattoo the length of my forearm and am worried it will alienate my new boyfriend’s parents…

Tanya Gold: Child-friendly, sex-free, nut-heavy – just the hotel for my 40th birthday

11 January 2014 9:00 am

Woolley Grange is a child-friendly country house hotel that seems, at first, entirely monstrous — a grey Tudor house in…

A restaurant in a synagogue. How strange can it be?

21 September 2013 9:00 am

A restaurant in a synagogue may be too mad even for this column but we are Jews, so why not?…

How new food rules could ruin restaurants

17 August 2013 9:00 am

Stricter food rules won’t make you any safer – but they could ruin many small restaurants

Tanya Gold on eating at the Shard

27 July 2013 9:00 am

What to say about the Shard that isn’t said by the fact it is 1,020 feet high and looks like…