Surrey
The house names of Surrey tell a sad story
If you want to understand Surrey, look at the house names. Keepers’ Copse, Meadow View, Weavers, Highfields… What do all…
Every village needs a kebab shop
‘A diary?’ said the lady in the chintzy gift shop, pronouncing the word very much as Edith Evans said ‘handbag’…
I’m stuck in Surrey, get me outta here!
After most of Islington moved to Wales, it was foolish of me to think about following. But the need to…
Our local councillors who’ve lost their seats must be sighing with relief
An angry text exchange between me and a former Tory councillor after she lost her seat has got me thinking.…
How do we stop the Lycra dads using our stable yard as a toilet?
The cyclist pulled into our gateway, got off his bike and grabbed hold of the electric fencing. Installing game cameras,…
My confusing life on the border of Tiers 1 and 2
As I scoffed down a fabulous supper in a candlelit room full of ecstatic diners, it struck me that this…
This was not your usual entitled Surrey trespasser
The Volkswagen Passat was parked next to my field gate, sticking out into the lane, blocking larger vehicles from getting…
The abominable selfishness of the Surrey middle classes
‘Have you met the man who keeps his horses in this field?’ said one silver-haired lady to the other, as…
The badlands of rural Surrey
The most exciting place on earth I have ever been to is the village where I live. And I don’t…
How it feels to be the only Brexiteers in the village
We are the only Brexiteers in the village. That, at least, is how it feels. Out they come, the far…
Root out ragwort!
A sea of bright yellow flowers in a sun- drenched meadow… what could be more idyllic? Sadly, all that glisters…
Why is China sending aid money to Surrey?
When I first hear that my well-heeled Surrey neighbourhood is receiving aid from China, I assume it must be a…
Real life
My friendly neighbourhood Lib Dems have put some campaign literature through my door. In a covering note, they intimate that…
Real life
Like Steve McQueen gone slightly to seed, the builder boyfriend strode off into the sunset. Nothing becomes him so much…
Real life
‘This situation is Rorke’s Drift,’ said the builder boyfriend, after our proposed renovations were objected to at the parish council’s…
Real life
Quite stoically, I was mountaineering on my hands and knees over a sea of rubble to get to the temporary…
Real life
Two months after I cancelled Sky, a strange letter arrived in the post. ‘We are writing to you because we…
Welcome to the only house left in south-east England that hasn’t been chavved up
Buffy Sainte-Marie said it best. ‘The lights of town are at my back, my heart is full of stars./ And…
