I remain in rehab following the election nightmare. When the all-shining, coiffed, permed and waxed Abbott family appeared at the victory celebration at the Four Seasons Hotel in Sydney, I apparently yelled, ‘The Kardashians are taking over the Lodge,’ before slumping into PET (Post-Election Trauma). I discharged myself from the intensive care wing last week after convincing doctors that my attack of Abbottphobia was manageable.