Dealing with trolls the Swedish way

Plus: the European capital with most foreigners (it’s not London)

11 October 2014

9:00 AM

11 October 2014

9:00 AM

How to deal with a troll

In Scandinavian mythology, trolls were shady creatures who lived below ground and varied in size from giants (in Iceland) to dwarfs (in Sweden). They snatched infants and replaced them with baby trolls, or ‘changelings’, in an attempt to improve their breeding stock. They could, however, be tackled:
— By leaving a knife on a baby’s cradle, the trolls being frightened of iron.
— By ringing church bells constantly.
— By baptising infants quickly, as trolls will not snatch those already christened.
— By exposing them to sunlight.

Hello, strangers

Which European capitals have the highest and lowest percentages of foreigners in their populations?

Luxembourg 65%
Brussels 34%
Zurich 31%
Riga 26%
London 22%

Warsaw 0.6%
Sofia 1%
Vilnius 1.4%
Bratislava 3.1%
Budapest 3.3%

Source: Eurostat

Catching your death

The World Health Organisation says the current Ebola outbreak has had a mortality rate of 70 per cent. Some worse diseases to catch, by mortality rate:

Haemorrhagic smallpox c.100%
Primary amoebic meningoencephalitis 95%
Lujo haemorrhagic fever 80%
Inhalation smallpox 75%

The long run

Formula 1 driver Jules Bianchi was seriously injured in the Japanese Grand Prix, but it is over 20 years since a driver (Ayrton Senna) died in a race. Is Formula 1 now safer than driving on the roads?
— In 2011, there was one death among car occupants for every 250 million vehicle miles driven on British roads.
— Formula 1 races are just over 190 miles in length. Races have had between 22 and 26 drivers over the past 20 years and the number of races has averaged 19 per season. So in 20 years Formula 1 drivers have raced for about 1.73 million miles.
— Therefore, Formula 1 would have to go another 143 periods of 20 years — i.e. 2,860 years — without a fatality before you could call it safer than British roads.

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  • goatmince

    Why does Tirana not feature in the list of European capitals?

    Albanian-style of closed borders and splendid isolation is what Ukip suporters always craved after all. We ought to organise guided tours of these places, for a fee of course. One has to live.

  • Colonel Mustard

    Finally we get to put a face to the name “telemachus”.

  • StJohnMalta

    It depends of your definition of foreigners and whether they are Western or from the third world.

    In Luxembourg the 65% consists mainly of French,Portuguese and Belgian citizens whom have never been naturalized because of strict criterias of the small Nation.

    For Riga the 26% consists mainly of Ethnic Russians that have become stateless citizens after 1991 , even though they were born and bred in Latvia for 3 generations, because of the post-Soviet Union mess.

    In Brussels around 40-50% of the population is arab-african of which is 400 000 Muslim. They all got naturalized thanks to Socialists and Liberals that have distributed Belgian nationality to their new dependant voter bloc. Ethnic Belgians are around 25% of the population and concentrated in the South. The 34% are mainly EU citizens from France,Italy and the Netherlands whom have no interest in claiming Belgian papers and the few Arabs and Africans that have not yet been naturalized.

    Concerning Zurich, well at least 15 % of the population are expatriate German citizens while the rest of the 31% are Turks and Kosovar Albanians.

    London : it is ”officially” 22% , but Ethnic White British people are a tiny minority less than 30% of London. Also native Britons are a minority in most cities in England like Luton, Bradford ,Leicester ,Dewsbury ,Slough, Blackburn, Manchester,Birmingham. Furthermore, Britons are replaced by 500 000/year non western migrants while around 300 000 of the best educated middle class leave the UK for good .

    • Jackthesmilingblack

      “It depends of your definition of foreigners”
      Everybody’s a foreigner to somebody. But if some of the Internet correspondents on these pages are British, I don’t want to be.
      Jack, the Japan Alps Brit (open to offers)

      • “Jackthesmilingblack” is a Japanese who publicly claims and calls himself a Briton instead, yet constantly whinge on as to how much he hates Britain and the British. Time for him to seek some serious (hopefully inpatient) psychiatric help like Brooks Newmark (and not just for his autism)?!

        • Jackthesmilingblack

          There he is. Right on cue.
          And now another word from Jock the liar.

  • Jackthesmilingblack

    How do you deal with a troll?
    I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it.