Real life

The police persecution of middle-class women

I cried. I felt dirty afterwards. In fact, I went home and had a shower

20 June 2015

9:00 AM

20 June 2015

9:00 AM

Aren’t the police getting younger nowadays — and ruder, and scruffier and more intolerant of middle-class women? In other words, why am I always getting pulled over for no apparent reason? If I were a member of any other minority group I would be complaining to my community leaders of terrible bias and of hideously unfair ‘stop and search’ policies.

As it is, whatever minority I do belong to in my Volvo with a Countryside Alliance sticker on the back window and my gundog in a travel cage in the boot, it has absolutely no recourse to complain to anyone. So they help themselves.

The other day, I was driving past Wandsworth Common on my way to Surrey to see the horses when I was pulled over by police manning a huge road block. I had seen this road block before, and had assumed, with some considerable pride, that it was our brave boys in blue doing their bit to apprehend serious criminals, possibly even terror suspects. The sheer scale of it had struck me as really impressive. And as I passed it on this occasion, I thought as always that it was a jolly good job we had these fantastic officers doing their bit to keep the good citizens of our proud nation safe.

When a policeman stood out and waved me down I thought there had been some mistake. I parked up, wound the window down and gave the approaching officer a cheery smile. ‘Can I help you?’ I said. He looked like his mother had knitted him. I’m sorry, but this is just stating facts. He had an unruly ginger beard, creased shirt, baggy uniform.

‘Ye gods,’ I thought, ‘I’m not so sure he’s capable of apprehending many terrorists.’

But I needn’t have worried. Because this was not what he was trying to do. ‘Can I see your licence please?’ I reached into my wallet. ‘Is there a problem?’

‘You were on your phone.’

This was interesting. I had been on my phone, but the phone was connected to a speaker system. The phone had fallen off the holder, however, and I had placed it on my lap as I drove as there was absolutely nowhere to pull over and sort it out.

‘It’s all right, I’m on a hands-free kit,’ I said, detaching the speaker and holding it up to show him. He looked at it suspiciously. There was a long pause and I could almost hear the cogs turning squeakily in his brain as he tried to come up with a reason why I had still broken the law.

‘You had that phone in your lap and you were fiddling with it,’ he said.

And then I thought, how does he know? How could the police possibly have been able to see the phone fall off the holder into the central console when I was hundreds of yards away from the road block. How? How?! No matter how hard I thought, I could not work out how the police could see into my car without having some sort of hidden camera system along the roadside.

In any case, he wasn’t sparing the lecture. ‘You can’t concentrate if you’re fiddling with your phone.’ This would have been fair, if it had happened, but seeing as any ‘fiddling’ lasted one second then objecting to it ruled out doing pretty much everything else including changing gear. He sent another officer to check my licence and when she came back to say it was clean he sighed at her and agreed I would have to be allowed to continue on my way.

But I am getting used to this. I was once pulled over late one night on Park Lane and threatened with prosecution for having a paper licence, not a card version. That was after a policeman who was aged about 21 breathalysed me and was distraught to discover that my protestations of being teetotal were correct. The machine read zero. He was so annoyed he made me get my licence out and when he saw it was a dog-eared piece of paper he shouted, ‘I could do you for that!’

‘Yes’, I didn’t dare say, for his ego was truly brittle, ‘or you could go off in your little panda car and find some criminals.’ The incident that takes the biscuit, however, was when the police pulled me over recently for ‘running a red light’. I am 100 per cent certain I did no such thing. I drove through a green light and nearly collided with a police car coming the other way. Someone had run a red light, I’ll say that much.

As so often in these situations, there was only one way to handle it. I cried. I felt dirty afterwards. In fact, I went home and had a shower.

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  • davidshort10

    The police officer is misinformed. Paper licences are still legal, though why Ms Kite still has one is a mystery. The photo licences are useful as ID and I doubt if she’d be able to hire a car with a paper license.

    • Ipsidixit

      I’ve got one and I keep it because after four decades, it is still completely clean. I see no reason to change it nor have I ever needed to use my driving licence for I.d. On the subject of the police, I’ve moved from being your typical white middle class supporter of to having little more than contempt for them. I don’t think for one moment that they will care.

      • Kennybhoy

        “…I’ve moved from being your typical white middle class supporter of to having little more than contempt for them.”

        I am torn between sympathy and contempt for sic as yersel who have to be on the receiving end before seeing the light…:-(

        • Jambo25

          I was never a major fan of the cops as you know Kennybhoy as my childhood background left me with no illusions that they were any better or worse than a necessary evil in many cases. However, they do seem to have got worse over the years. The sheer rudeness with which they approach far too many people nowadays simply makes them unlikeable to an almost extreme level at times. One of my friends who is an ex cop complains about them looking more and more like “Imperial storm troopers” out of Star Wars. Maybe we are at the point where we need a clear distinction of the continental sort between an old fashioned British style police force and a much more paramiltary style organisation as is found in France, Spain, Italy etc.

  • davidshort10

    They probably have a quota system that prevents them simply concentrating on young Muslim men with beards and no moustache. Stopping a middle-aged blonde woman ticks a useful box.

    • WTF

      Yep, ten white middle age women for each Muslim male, consider yourself lucky as its twenty white males for the same quota !

  • Jackthesmilingblack

    All about soft options. Plod is not keen on risking a rumble with some tearaway. Note well how contempt for, borderline hatred of the police is rising ever higher in the social stratum. Because the police in Britain no longer police with consent. Britain is fast becoming a police state, so do the obvious: Hate it and leave it.
    Jack, Japan Alps

  • Ordinary Man

    It would have been helpful if Melissa had noted down the names of the policemen and put them in her article

  • Teacher

    A few years ago at Heathrow, as a 50 year old, white woman dressed respectably, I was in a queue of people which contained quite a few persons of another hue and quite identifiable religion (beards etc.). It was at the time of heightened awareness of terrorist threats from this same religious group. Nobody will be surprised that I was the one stopped for a ‘pat down’. I was livid.

    • Shazza

      My friend and I had the same experience at East Midlands Airport a few years ago. Both she and I are white, middle aged and the physical examination was quite intrusive. I have seen very elderly white people also subjected to this search whilst certain members of a protected cult whose attire disguises their sex are waved through.

      • Noa

        But Shazza, the circumstances are simply not comparable. You weren’t in charge of a lethal weapon i.e. a car, whilst driving without due care and attention, as Ms Kite self-admittedly was in this instance.

        Kennybhoy sums her rant up admirably, below. “A conservative etc…”

    • Patrick G Cox

      I am white, male and British, and on a recent trip to the UK I was given the ‘pat down’ at Birmingham by a gentleman with the beard and the beads. If I was wearing a dish dash, had a straggly beard and waving a certain book I would, no doubt, have been let go. I’ve had the same treatment at Heathrow. As I am now far closer to 70 than 60, and dress in what I consider a respectable manner I seem to be an automatic ‘target’ for these ‘checks’. It is, I am told, so they can demonstrate that they are not ‘profiling’ a particular group.

      FRankly it is wrong, and it is time to call them out on it.

      • BoiledCabbage

        Wear white robes, have acolytes with finger cymbals and incense, mumble continuously whilst standing with eyes half closed. Works for me.

    • BoiledCabbage

      Acquire a beard for yourself. Its a tremendous disguise.

      • Teacher

        There is a completely hilarious book called ‘Refusal Shoes’ about customs officers which is based on a premiss of the officers gaining job satisfaction and amusement from vexing the ‘customers’. If I thought it were merely a wind-up to stop and search middle aged, white women to allay the tedium of the job I think I would be less annoyed than at the thought that it is political correctness gone mad. However, I suspect the PC aspect trumps the former reason, sadly.

    • Mr TaxPayer

      Yep, I’m a white male in my 40s; travelling throught Gatwick, it was my daughter 7 and son, 10 that were subject to the search. The family that frequent Alan’s Snackbar were waved through*.

      *Probably to catch a flight to Turkey and thence to Syria.

    • Dominic Stockford

      My 13 year old daughter, white and terribly middle class, was the only person singled out for a search by pat-down on her arrival back from a visit to a friend in Switzerland.

      (by the way, who is pat down…)

  • Jambo25

    Some years ago my wife, son and I were driving back to Scotland after a holiday down south when my wife was stopped by Northumbria’s finest for no obvious reason. She was spoken to and treated like a sack of sh.t in front of both my son and I. Nether my son, nor I had a favourable view of the Filth before that. Afterwards we thought shooting’s too good for the so and sos. My wife is no longer a fan either.

    • Dominic Stockford

      Many of them do a fantastic job – the trouble is, those ‘left behind’ on the beat and in the cars are not among those many, on the whole.

      • Jambo25

        That may well be the case but the police really have to get their act together. I’m sure that most cops are OK but it really isn’t a case of a few bad apples any longer . Its bushels and pecks of them.

    • Frank Marker

      ‘Shooting’s too good for them’. You really do sound a thoroughly nasty piece of work. Mmm, remind me never to go to Scotland. I would hate to bump into you and be mistaken for plain clothes cop

      • Jambo25

        These were uniformed traffic cops. Incidentally, I used to be a very good shot when young but I never have done and don’t have any plans to cause mayhem.

        • Frank Marker

          And aren’t we all relieved to hear that!

  • MrLouKnee

    you want to try being white working class rather than middle class, i could never walk the shop for a pint of milk without being terrorised by the police, and as for them girls in Rotherham, well…..i suppose the police do a difficult job in difficult circumstances…..yeah right, what a load of bollox that is

  • uberwest

    It makes sense in a way, if they do their stop and search in an area with a high criminal population, they will only be giving themselves more paperwork to do when they catch the criminals in that locality. It’s probably a cost-cutting measure.

  • MikeF

    Today’s police are one of the most malevolent residues of the last Labour Government – sectarian, biased, bureaucratic, politicised. They weren’t saints before but their previous internal culture has now been turned into one of ideologically motivated animosity to mainstream society – of which middle-class, middle-aged women who do not come from designated ‘minorities’ make prime representative targets. I can assure you I know that for a fact.

    • hdb

      Yes, it was the last Labour government that invented police culture from scratch overnight.

      (are you folks below the line at the Spectactor capable of taking any point which is not party political?)

      • Dominic Stockford

        I think most of us will agree that the grass is green, except when its brown. Is that non-political enough for you?

      • MikeF

        I did not say the last Labour government invented this culture. Instead I clearly indicated that Labour politicised it and retargeted it so that it became a partisan weapon a culture war against mainstream established society in favour most obviously of various ‘preferred’ minorities. It is not sectarian to recognise sectarianism when you see it. The great shame of the present administration is that it has done little if anything to reverse this.

        • Jambo25

          The police have always been political. It actually got much worse under Thatcher when she used them as an army of occupation, almost, during the Miners’ strike. I was never a fan of the strike and despised Scargil and the NUM but what I saw during the strike convinced me that a fair number of the police were acting outside their powers.
          I have in-laws and friends in Leicestershire and drove from Scotland to the East Midlands on a number of occasions during the strike. The Yorkshire police were operating stop and search schemes all over Yorkshire and the Yorks/Notts county boundary. My car was stopped on a number of occasions and my wife and I treated with suspicion and utter rudeness.
          Talk to people who were living in Durham, Yorkshire, South Wales and parts of Central Scotland at the time and see what they think of the cops. The pay back the cops got, particularly in Yorkshire, was for the government to turn a blind eye to their utter incompetence over cases like the ‘Ripper’ and Robert Black killings and to say nothing over what turned into a criminal conspiracy by the police after Hillsborough.

          • Dominic Stockford

            The police are inevitably going to be conservative in approach as their job is to preserve the peace – if you have peace then keep everything as it is and you still have peace. However, the fact that the police are now getting quite Politically Correct and moving left wing should be a concern to us. If they are no longer preserving what we have, peace, law, stability, and so on, then they are no longer fulfilling their prime function.

          • Jambo25

            That doesn’t excuse their behaviour during the Miners’ Strike. Nor does it excuse their behaviour in the aftermath of Hillsborough when the Yorkshire cops aided by other forces and a Tory MP organised what was, in effect, a criminal conspiracy to hide the truth of what actually took place.

          • Sausage McMuffin

            Concise summary of how many felt and still feel about Police behaviour over this period.

          • Jambo25

            One of my friends was a very senior cop who took a leading role in a major investigation which also involved English forces in Yorkshire, London and the Midlands. He was staggered by the lack of ability to collect and collate evidence and the lack of computerised systems in use by these forces.
            In terms of attitudes of people in the old mining areas. The level of hatred people still have for the police really has to be experienced to be believed.

          • Tellytubby

            Understandable though even if it can scarcely be “believed”; for the reasons you highlighted in your earlier post. The police stopped acting like “citizens in uniform” according the Peelian principles of policing by consent – they became a paramilitary organisation committed to impose the governments will – if necessary against the people they were supposed to represent and protect.

            The trend worldwide (I think it comes from America first and foremost) seems to be for the police to be an arm of the state – the executive even. A President or Prime Ministers personal army.

          • Jambo25

            I tend to agree. I think the police are now out of control in some areas and too much controlled in others.

          • Cardiganqueen

            I was a school girl in Wales during the time of the miners strike and I see it slightly differently. The police were there to stop the miners who were picketing the steel works throwing stones at a school bus as we went past Llanwern Steel works to get to our school; There were metal cages around the school bus windows to stop rocks being hurled at school children. My older brother was driving to work in a construction site in West Wales where they threw rocks off a bridge and eventually killed a taxi driver who was simply taking someone to work. The taxi driver’s daughter was at my school. This is not some apocryphal story, I lived through it and it was terrifying. So if the police got a little heavy handed with the neanderthals who felt it was appropriate to attack a school bus, and kill a taxi driver and throw rocks at a 21 year old going to work, then I really don’t blame them.And the NUM never condemned the actions of those men.

          • Jambo25

            Don’t get me wrong. I had no time for the strike, the NUM or Scargil and I know that a lot of miners behaved badly. That did not excuse the police for the way that many of them behaved, however. A lot of them quite clearly exceeded their legal powers and were acting unlawfully. Others were overly violent and committed numerous assaults against the public. The miners who did that were, quite rightly, hunted down, arrested and severely punished. The police who did it had a blind eye turned to it. If you bother to enquire you’ll find that there were quite a few miners who ended up with fairly severe injuries dished out by police who were out of control at times. You’ll also find that many of those police went into action (because it was action) with force and individual id markers obscured so that individual policemen couldn’t be identified while they were batoning, punching and kicking members of the public.

  • Precambrian

    Next time ask them to hurry up because you are on your way to a disabled, lesbian. Imam’s meeting at the masonic hall….

    • hdb

      Specator comments are always such a caricature. At least below the line here is good for a laugh …

    • Tellytubby

      You’d probably get an escort.

  • WTF

    I suspect you’re getting pulled up a few days before the months quota for stop and search is due and as there weren’t the requisite number of white middle class women in their tick boxes, you were unlucky enough to be one of their ticks. Annoying little f****** those ticks and just as hard to avoid as my dogs ticks !

  • Nick

    I don’t believe a word that Melissa Kite says in this article about the police.She is hyper exaggerating simply because she was pulled over by the police.

    How is when I’ve had reason to speak to a police officer,they have always been friendly and helpful?

    I agree that the senior officers have been turned into left wing luvvies but that’s the fault of loonie leftism being allowed to poison British establishments such as the police,schools and universities etc.

    Overall,the vast majority of cops do an excellent job and articles like this are cheap shot attacks by a cheap shot journalist.

    • Jambo25

      You’ve been lucky. My experience has been far more mixed.

  • Kennybhoy

    Definition of a conservative. A liberal who got mugged.

    Definition of a liberal. A conservative who got arrested, stopped, etc…

    • Jambo25

      Seen the first one but not the second. I like it. I don’t mind stop and search. I experienced it as a kid and it never struck me as being particularly oppressive as long as the cops doing it showed some basic respect and politeness.

      • Noa

        Still, it’s always better to have a good reason for one subject of Her Majesty to interfere with the free passage of another, don’t you think?

        • Jambo25

          Yes but I don’t see it as the equivalent of the old South African pass laws.

    • hdb

      Best comment on this thread but you aren’t ranting about ‘towel-heads’ so nobody here is paying attention.

      They really should take the vote away from 90% of the population. The cretinage rate is appallingly high whether on here or Comment is Free.

    • Som Trivedi

      Top comment.

  • pointlesswasteoftime

    It is so annoying when one realises the law does not only apply to the little people.

  • WFB56

    Why is any of this a surprise and why does Melissa think that its about middle class women?

    This is standard operating procedure for todays’ police forces – all of whom ridiculously claim to be short of cash – they target easy prey while avoiding the hard work of chasing the country’s many real criminals.

    Obsessed by overwrought health and safety rules and imbued with a wholly unearned sense of moral superiority, Britain’s police are in many ways no longer fit for purpose.

    • hdb

      Um, the police don’t enforce ‘health and safety’ only the criminal law. Health and safety is a matter for your local council.

  • Shorne

    Some plebs just don’t know their place do they.

  • flydlbee

    They pick on people who won’t fight back and won’t make trouble because they are easy meat. This is referred to as “heavy handed and predatory policing” in the Magistrates Handbook. It’s the sign of a lazy, underemployed and top-heavy police force. It is also a sign of politcal correctness, which requires they arrest as may peaceful, lawful citizens as they do villains.

    In Bedfordshire our keen new commissioner (Labour) held a referendum asking to increase the expenditure on the police by means of an increase in the rates, in order to pay for even more (or “adequate” as he put it) policing. He lost it 70:30, which shows just how the local people truly value their hidebound, bureaucratic, lazy, parasitical police force. Too many speed traps, officer. Too few burglars and muggers caught.

    • Dominic Stockford

      Quite, anyone with a modicum of fight back would have pointed out that the police officer couldn’t ‘do you’ for not having your plastic licence.

  • WhiteVanMan

    It was only boys in blue who stopped you, no police women, persecution, would imply they knew the driver was female before stopping you, could they see through the windscreen, when you were driving towards them?
    You might have had a nice car,in a crime hot spot

  • Cymrugel

    Ye Gods, get a grip woman!

    If this is the worst you’ve got to bellyache about you must live a very sheltered life.
    A minor incident involving you and your cell phone in a car – and its in a national magazine. That’s your contribution for the week?

    What’ll it be next “that horrid smelly working class person who took the last box of rice crispies at Waitrose- why are they even allowed in “.

    Are they seriously paying you for this?

    • Dominic Stockford

      Now you come to mention it, there really should be some sort of segregation in supermarkets. Maybe if those who live in Council accommodation could be allowed in only between 3 and 5am, and those in Housing Association properties only between 1 and 3am. At least then the rest of us would be able to know, should we need some more Prosecco, when we can avoid them, and when we might be so unfortunate as to run into them. It will also help the staff be able to restock shelves for the more deserving amongst us – after all, it can’t be right that someone on benefits actually gets to buy food and leave me with less choice, its just not right you know. And the bottom line is really that no-one I don’t approve of should be allowed into the shops that i do approve of anyway. So there.

      • Jambo25

        A number of new housing projects in London which must, as a condition of planning approval, contain social housing, now have separate entrances and lifts for social and non social housing residents.

        • Dominic Stockford

          I understand what you are saying, However there is an issue of presentation here, one group can spin this one way, and another point out something different. For understandable and sensible reasons of health and safety most new housing projects are required to have several entrances. If social housing is in one particular part of the block (the most economically effective way to build them) then it will be inevitable that they share an entrance which is not the entrance for other parts of the block.

          • Jambo25

            My son runs his own planning consultancy and has had fairly extensive dealings with the housing market in Central London. A couple of his ex university pals work for what are essentially property developers and estate agents. I brought this up with them after I saw a report of this happening in an up-market development down at The Elephant and Castle of all places. They all stated that this was now normal and that there was also a rapid growth of ‘gated’ communities. London is being segregated and at least partially ‘cleansed’ of the poor.
            Incidentally, the Elephant and Castle development was a high rise which was arranged so that the social housing was on the lower floors and the full price units higher up. They still built it with separate lifts so the rich would never have to mix with or even look at those who weren’t quite so rich.
            As more and more new and redeveloped housing in zones 1&2 London is sold ‘off the books’ to buyers in the Gulf, Far East etc the social manners and mores of the buyers in those regions will be imported.

      • Jambo25

        Love the supermarket stuff. Have a big tick up. There is a slightly serious side to it though. When Aldi and Lidl first opened in the UK the immediate and lasting reaction from many in the UK was to laugh at them as shops for ‘schemies’ as we say in Scotland. As someone who has lived in Germany for longish periods over the years I found this odd. In Germany everybody shops at Aldi and Lidl but they’ll also shop elsewhere. A well off university educated professional will stock up with basics at the discounters but they’ll also buy other things at more up-market stores such as Ka de We, Karstadt, Kaufhof etc

        • Sausage McMuffin

          As indeed increasingly people do here. Lidl for proseco, bratwurst, that really good schinken, most fruit & veg, and that great line in Aberdeen Angus they’ve had lately. Waitrose & Ocado for all the awkward stuff.

          • Jambo25

            In terms of quality Ka de We is closer to Harrods than Waitrose. Although I have bought some really nice wine from Waitrose.

    • Jambo25

      The only reason I shop at Waitrose is so that I don’t have to mix with the utter scum who frequent M&S.

      • Cymrugel

        Their bakewell slice makes it worth it.

        • Jambo25

          I get the Filipino maid to purchase that for me.

  • Partner

    the UK police are a bunch of nasty, self interested, work dodging, rule ignoring bullies with chips on their shoulders. And neither political party has the guts to take them on.

  • grumpyoldrockape

    ‘I had been on my phone, but the phone was connected to a speaker system.
    The phone had fallen off the holder, however, and I had placed it on my
    lap as I drove as there was absolutely nowhere to pull over and sort it
    out………….seeing as any ‘fiddling’ lasted one second’.
    Melissa, you have admitted using your phone whilst driving.You admitted picking it up, whilst driving and placing it in your lap.The Officer states you were fiddling with it long enough to be observed doing so.You could have left it where it had fallen.Therefore you would have not been observed fiddling with it and you probably wouldn’t have been stopped.You are not too posh for Police not to stop you.Get a life.

    • ButcombeMan

      The article is a silly worthless rant.

      She is very lucky not to have been charged. Her guilt is admitted.

      She should take it as a warning.

      And she ought to make sure her phone is secured and cannot fall.

  • Marion McLean

    Define “middle class”. I hate the terminology but I work for a living so I suppose that makes me working class….or does it? How would a cop (love them or loathe them) know what “class” you assume you hail from when he stops your car? Being as millionaires often roll around in scruffy old 4WD vehicles and drug dealers are known for their penchant for high performance posing machines, I would imagine it would be a clever person who could actually tell the difference.

    • Frank Marker

      Possibly the way she tossed her blonde locks? Middle-class birds have a certain way of doing it. Next time you are down Surrey/Sussex way have a good look, but don’t blame me if you are arrested.

  • milford

    Yes plod’s certainly becoming more robotically aggressive there’s no doubt about it. Compare a police uniform from 1970 to their current military attire.

  • davidofkent

    The article is interesting because that’s the first instance of the police actually stopping somebody for using a mobile while driving (rightly or wrongly in this instance) that I have heard about. Every day I see drivers using mobiles (white van men are the usual suspects), eating sandwiches or drinking from bottles whilst driving. Not a policeman in sight!

    • norm

      I see more car drivers you know the reps (Bmw, mercs and the like) using mobiles than white van man and the other ones are mothers on the way to pick up their kids they are all at it

  • Richard Eldritch

    Actualy love I expect they had some plain clothes cops watching the approach roads to the road block, and had seen you using your phone.
    “Fallen off the central console” LOL….

  • Bob John

    Public confidence in the plods is at an all time low. One reason being that they will crack down on Christian preachers who say that homosexuality is sinful (which it is) but won’t do anything about the likes of Anjem Choudary – dhimmitude indeed.

    • norm

      or if you say anything about that peace loving Religion Islam but if they say they want to kill, rape, behead and commit pedophilea on kids and even mutilate (FGM) women they are thought of as only being nice

    • Noa

      These Christian preachers are preaching hate.
      Whereas Mr Choudary is exercising his ‘triple lock’ rights of freedom of speech.

      • Dominic Stockford

        Yes, we do preach hate. I hate sin, I hate sin, I hate sin…

        Now where was I, oh yes, on my way to Dartmoor Maximum security…

    • Dominic Stockford

      Of course, the only way that we can get into prisons now is to be arrested for street preaching – then they take us into the prisons and we can preach to those who need it rather more than that Islamic lessons they normally get in there…

  • Garnet Thesiger

    The new uniforms make them look like bags of unfolded washing.

  • I’ve lost count of the number of women (and men, of course) talking on their phone or texting while driving. I watched a programme a few weeks ago where a police officer had to go and tell the parents of a 22 year old woman that she had just been killed when a van, driven by a moron looking at his phone, failed to stop and ploughed into a line of vehicles on the motorway, killing the victim instantly. Personally, I’d love to be able to pull over these idiots, take their phone and shove it where the sun don’t shine. The writer wonders how the police knew she had the phone on her lap and was fiddling with it and then admits that she did, indeed, have the phone on her lap and was fiddling with it. Of course, the writer is 100% certain she never does anything wrong. I’ll bet good money that she is one of those irritating drivers who sticks to the middle lane because they thing the inside lane is “slow” and the outside lane is “fast”. Probably chattering away on her phone to another woman about something utterly inconsequential but that cannot possible wait until she gets home.

    • norm

      you should learn to understand what you you read not just read it and then think you know what was being said, now I have not written to much I hope you can understand this

      • I wish I knew what the hell you were trying to say. Get a basic grasp of English and then come back and try again. But when you do please try and be clear about what point you are specifically trying to make. Doh!

        • norm

          oh dear a smart ass, I don’t think, see can’t understand what he reads

          • Better a smart arse than a complete moron. What IS your point? Don’t keep saying that I don’t understand what the article says, point out where you disagree. Make an intelligent comment. debate or discuss but, FFS, say something other than prattle on with your incoherent, illiterate and unintellligible twaddle. Better still, just go away.

          • luke mac

            grammar cop. sheesh you’re pathetic.. norm’s point is that she was messing with her phone and therefore should have been stopped….

          • trace9

            With that grammar it’s a very fair cop.

          • I think you’ll find that is what I said in my comment. Quite how to can deduce that’s what “norm” meant is beyond me. You must either be telepathic or you are in fact “norm”.

          • luke mac

            sorry for late reply Mike, I lost interest in you.

    • Dominic Stockford

      The one I saw concerned a middle aged woman fiddling with her phone who put three into the morgue.

    • Texting and talking are not the same thing at all. Texting is wrong and I would support a ban of it, if it could be enforced (I doubt it). A phone is a lifeline, though, and for those without GPS it can be literally so when driving in an unfamiliar and not very safe neighbourhood.

  • James Graham


    This dumb American thought the column was hilarious.

    Deliberately so.

    A good example of Brit humor.

    Sorry, humour.

  • evad666

    Now then, now then less of the protestations please.
    Can you confirm this Semtex and ball bearings are all yours madame and as for this Kalashnikov?

  • kermit

    I’m French, therefore an immigrant. You English have no rights, it is our country! Go to France, be an immigrant and be happy! HMS is superb! I love them. I drive a Land Rover, stickers for Lords, local hunt etc.. I use a very thick French accent, et voila! We might have loose Waterloo, but we are on top!Dear Melissa, perhaps the next cop is a French immigrant send by Taki, we love les petites Anglaises….

    • Jackthesmilingblack

      HMG, lose (lost)

      • Labour Mole Catcher


  • Dodgy Geezer

    …As so often in these situations, there was only one way to handle it. I cried. I felt dirty afterwards. In fact, I went home and had a shower….

    Try being black and driving a BMW.

    Don’t get me wrong. The police are not ‘institutionally racist’. They are bastards to everybody. It’s just that they only bully the classes who have no power, no way of complaining. That used to be immigrants and the poor. Now it’s everybody.

    Oh, and don’t try talking back, otherwise they’ll frame you up. Even if you are a Cabinet Minister…

    • stephengreen


      No thanks.

    • MrJones

      if this were true then the country would still be only 10% as ****ed as it actually is

  • Needs2Cash

    Theresa May blowback.

  • BoiledCabbage

    The solution is to disguise yourself as a member of an ethnic/religious minority. Also, forget you speak English. That will stump them.

    • MrJones

      not bad advice for areas ruled by street gangs either

      if there were such areas and of course there can’t be or the BBC would have reported it

  • MoW

    “persecution of middle-class women”? is this a joke? how utterly embarrassing this article is.

    • Frank Marker

      Indeed. It looks like the poor thing needs to check into Champneys for a weekend to get over her First World Problem. Hasn’t her builder boyfriend given her any ‘now pull yourself together’ guidance in their time together?

  • trace9

    I think these must the Petulance Police, & they’ve certainly collared a hard-nosed lifelong repeat offender in Don’t-Mess-With-Me! Melissa. Don’t you know what a Privilege it is to be able to go anywhere you fancy across the whole country on your mindless arse in air-conditioned comfort – accompanied by whatever hi-fi music you fancy, sat-nav security, phone-anywhere if needful, petrol stations & cafes distributed all along the way for thousands of miles.. God what babies ‘motorists’ have become. (ie 99% of ‘Brits’, et al.)

  • luke mac

    mainly its because you’ll actually pay any fine.. you know being a good citizen and all.

  • Nike’s left breast

    The minor public nuisance value of the Police forceis nothing new. In the distant past I was once stopped and serached by a patrolling officer in a leafy suburb (A night patrol! I’ll leave you to guess how distant this past was). Asked to account for the contents of my brief-case [post-grad research documents and data], I flippantly offered “nothing of interest to you, officer – yes, that young and naive. Still, he was a decent man and saw the funny-side. But not now: within a stone’s throw of the Inns of Court I was offered a flyer by a member of the West End Cluster Police Team which informed me that “Stop and Account” was now a police power. “This is where [sic] a Police Officer requests a person in a public place to account for their actions, theier behavoir, and their presence… or their possession of anything.” WTF have I done a Rip van Winkle and just woken up in a Police State? Perhaps I should be grateful that “…their thoughts…” is not enumerated on my duties of accountability. That’s not to be taken as a reminder to the MET.

    • Dominic Stockford

      Its a difficult one. The choice is between an Islamic state here, and increased security. How much it needs to increase is the issue.

  • jim

    Feminism and marxism go hand in hand. Whining females helped bring about this culture whereby the organs of the state will make life hell for the natives just to prove they’re not prejudiced against immigrants. Obviously they’re running low on white,middle-aged,straight males to torment so in a pinch white middle aged middle class females will do.Welcome to our world sweetheart.

  • Dominic Stockford

    Not just middle class women – I was almost stopped by policemen, who certainly thought about doing so (it was written all over their sweet little faces), when they cut me up by pulling out across me at a roundabout. Having to turn round and follow me was clearly too much for them to face though, so I got away with their terrible driving.

  • Ahobz

    Auberon Waugh was onto the police twenty years ago. It’s got worse since then..

  • luke mac

    It will be so much better once the police have been replaced with G4.

    • Mr_Twister

      Am pretty sure G4s staff will be even more “Robotic”

  • Annbatt

    That’s why I don’t travel!
    I blame colonialism for most of the world’s ills!
    It will get much worse as the years pass and we can only blame ourselves for our demise!
    As a white race we are doomed!

  • Kudzu_Bob

    The late Sam Francis, an American writer and intellectual, claimed that what he called anarcho-tyranny was the prevailing form of government in Western countries: Under this system, decent people are afraid to walk the streets for fear that they will be robbed or raped (that’s the anarchy part), while the police find it easier, safer, and more profitable to harass those same decent people over petty infractions than to catch the criminals who terrorize society (that’s the tyranny part).

    • MrJones

      The police have to avoid crime the media says doesn’t exist or the media will get them sacked.

      • Kudzu_Bob

        All the more reason to go after harmless, law-abiding people, no doubt.. Here in America, since the recent riots in Baltimore and Ferguson, the police in many large cities have greatly reduced their law-enforcement efforts in the most violent and dangerous areas in order to reduce the risk that they might be accused of racial prejudice.

        • MrJones

          Yes, and they need to fill their time somehow so…

  • MrJones

    Dealing with crime that the BBC says doesn’t exist is bad for a plod’s career and as the percentage of the country where that doesn’t apply keeps shrinking it means remote country lanes are becoming the only safe place to plod.

  • QuentinUK

    It’s lucky the police didn’t say anything about a woman crying for nothing when stopped for fiddling with a phone she had on her lap.
    You didn’t say what caused the phone to fall of its holder. Sure you weren’t pressing the buttons when it fell. And then did you keep your eyes on the road while scrabbling for the phone as it slid around on the floor of the car. You should have waited until you got to a place where you could fix the phone. But drivers are not willing not to use their phones while driving around. They kill lots of people because they are not looking where they are going.

  • Blazeaway

    I heard unusual voices from my neighbour’s house so went round to investigate. The door had been smashed in.

    Three burglars were inside the house and they pushed me aside as they ran out.

    They then waited at the end of the road till I went away – presumably they intended to carry on with their burgling.

    I rang the police and said the burglars were still at the end of the road. Could they come and investigate? I would be willing to give a statement.

    Their response? Could I just board the door up, please, and that would be that?

    A short while after, an old lady’s house in the same town was burgled. There was a massive police presence and investigation. The reason? The old lady was the mother of the chief constable no less.

    I firmly believe that the burglary of my neighbour’s house would have been investigated if it had been in a middle-class part of town.

    Why should working-class parts of town receive a worse response? We all pay tax.
    Police? Don’t make me laugh.

  • Blazeaway

    Surveys still show that about 80% of the population like the police.

    I recently gained an insight into why that may be so.

    The police surveys are only distributed to other public-sector people. They do NOT go to ordinary citizens.

    I recently queried that with the university that my local police contracted to do their latest ‘customer satisfaction’ survey. The university confirmed their methodology.

  • If I were a member of any other minority group I would be complaining to my community leaders of terrible bias and of hideously unfair ‘stop and search’ policies

    Well, why don’t you, Melissa? Next time, tell ‘im you want his name and badge number and the phone number of his superior.