A message of great joy from Chinese Peoples offering fondest salutations and joyous liberation to Australia on your national day.

A spokesman for the Chinese government has outlined, for the purpose of engendering sensations of noble joy and feelings of tender warmth, a proposal sent forth by Chinese Chairman Xi Jinping in the general direction of Australia in time for their annual Australia Day celebrations, advising the Australian people that the Chinese government wishes to enter a competitive tender for the whole Australian defence needs, Army, Navy and Airforce, by the peaceful loving Chinese People’s Liberation Army.