Flat White

When’s the ABC going to sic the #metoo mob onto Paul McCartney

18 May 2018

1:00 PM

18 May 2018

1:00 PM

With the western world awash with #metoo movements, and men’s attempts at intimate relationships with women stalling under feminist pressure, I thought it important to report that the #metoo criticism of sexual harassment might only be a criticism of unwanted sexual harassment; the most recent evidence suggests that there might actually be a species of sexual harassment called wanted, or in some cases, much wanted sexual harassment.

We might have struggled to identify the species of wanted sexual harassment for it is possible a male would have to engage in unwanted sexual harassment until such time as his unwanted sexual harassment changed into wanted sexual harassment.  Now, however, I can announce that the science is done and the evidence is in and it is to be found, of all places, on the website of that vast citadel of publicly funded feminism, the ABC. And the good news is that it can be assumed that it will not always be necessary to go through the unwanted sexual harassment stage first. If the stars align (emphasis on stars), you might just be able to go straight to the much wanted SH of a kiss and a cuddle (basically not quite first base in pre-1962 terms) without incurring any adverse penalty.

I challenge anyone to imagine any man sexually harassing Leigh Sales with an unwanted suggestion of a more or less intimate contact like kissing and him not copping an ear full, even a thick ear full, a withering put down and possibly even a QANTAS flight ban.

But there you might be surprised to discover that that only happens if the suggestion is an unwanted sexual harassment.

According to the ABC website how different it was when Sir Paul McCartney met Ms Sales for the first time. The hell-fire feminist interviewer gushed with emotion, stuttering awkwardly from the distance saying what a big fan she was and not in the least embarrassed when he demanded/commanded, “Oh, luv, give us a kiss. Come on.” She walked straight over to him, put her arms around him and let him kissed her on the cheek.

Now there was all the evidence you need for a species of wanted sexual harassment. You could almost say, it was a first date and you would expect a certain amount of shyness even coquettishness when a 45-year-old woman meets a 76-year-old man. But it wasn’t like that at all. The sexual tension was not that high, but it was enough for her to fall into his arms, there on the ABC website, and let him kiss her, albeit on the cheek.

All I know is that if any other man had said to Ms Sales, “Oh, luv, give us a kiss. Come on,” he would have been dragged kicking and screaming before some Commonwealth tribunal whose powers included all sorts of embarrassing punishments. Unless, of course, the said offender was able to sing the words to the rest of that song: “Come on, come on, come on, please, please me like I please you,” while playing a Hoffner bass guitar left handed.

So when next you are accused of sexually harassing one of the bright young things at a Christmas Party dance or you are ordered to undergo counselling for telling locker room jokes, just remember that it was only personal; in fact, only you. You weren’t famous enough. Had you been Sir Paul McCartney, people would still be laughing at your joke a year later.

But then maybe Sir Paul was just being friendly in a Liverpudlian way and there was nothing in it at all.

Cosi fan tutte, Mozart?

Illustration: ABC Television/YouTube.

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