Flat White

It’s a chill spring for our rickrack republicans

23 October 2018

7:51 AM

23 October 2018

7:51 AM

About as popular as Ebenezer Scrooge at Carols at Candlelight, only the most hardened of Twitter lefties can currently muster the spirit to bitterly poo-poo the world’s most popular royal couple on their fairytale Australian tour.

Republican apparatchiks privately dry tears with grey beards as any prospect of a legacy as founders of a newer, contemporary Australia fades away in the Harry and Meghan glow.

Even one-time true believer Mark Latham thinks there won’t be a vote on an Australian republic in his lifetime.

One such republican Scrooge smugly forwarded me an email of the Australian Republican Movement, putting on their bravest face.

“At the moment, it is going gangbusters,” their digital guru Sandy Biar wrote. “We get quite encouraged by royal visits,” Sandy earnestly insisted. Even ARM finds royal visits uplifting.

Though it appears they are drawing heavily on the ignoramus demographic for new members.

“They bring in a whole bunch of new people, many of whom are learning for the first time that we have a British monarch as our head of state,” Sandy said.

Hopefully, someone also informed these keen students of history, eminently qualified to comment on Australia’s political structure, that English comes from England and that the Union Jack is in the upper left of the Australian flag.

Perhaps more Royal tours are what’s needed to remedy Australia’s woeful education results and curriculum. After all, the British have been teaching Australia the basics since Matthew Flinders put us on the map.

The Duke and Duchess of Sussex have put Australia on the map in another way, skyrocketing our place in the global news priorities. We gain relevance from the Crown, not the other way around.

As the Royal couple dominate Australian media, day after day, it’s as if Australia is collectively saying to our Royal family: “I did but see her passing by and yet I love her till I die.”

And love is love, right lefties?


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