Are you ready, people? Tinfoil hats on? Teeth rotting nicely, fluoride-free? Anti 5G underwear secure?

Right. Here are the highlights of a message sent this morning from failed former treasurer, sometime Jeremy Corbyn wannabe and Labor Party national president Wacky Wayne Swan drumming up support ahead of the July 4 Eden-Monaro by-election:

Already we’ve seen just how the coronavirus pandemic has had a huge impact on our way of life.

But the decisions made in the next few months and years will shape our future.

Even after the restrictions are lifted, Australia will be a changed country and it’s vital that Labor stands up for millions of Australians left behind.

We’ve got a big task ahead of us because we’re fighting against vested interests with deep pockets who will use this pandemic to drive down wages and conditions, and to ignore the environment.

Labor will hold the government to account and we’ll push for better outcomes for those Australians who are being left behind.

But we need your help to do that. Our vital work for the country relies on the ongoing support from supporters just like you.

Your support will help us to fund the advertising and campaigning we need to do to hold the government to account…

[I]t’s Labor that knows what’s right for our society in times of change.

From the social upheaval of the 70s when Labor opened up universities to all Australians, to the GFC where Labor’s stimulus stopped a recession while having one of the lowest levels of debt in the developed world.

But we can’t rest now and just hope for the best. Democracy is under threat from big money and authoritarian leaders, and we need your help to fight back…

We’re up against vested interests with deep pockets…

Stay safe,

Wayne Swan
ALP National President

You want edited highlights? Here they are:

[W]e’re fighting against vested interests with deep pockets…

Democracy is under threat from big money and authoritarian leaders.

Edited edited highlights?

Democracy is under threat from big money and authoritarian leaders.

Get real, you has-been loon. We have an entirely democratically elected government. It’s just not a government run by your party. You have all the resources of the union movement at your disposal. How the hell does crackpot paranoia boost your party at the polls? And, anyway, a Labor win in Eden-Monaro will keep the numbers in the House of Representatives exactly the same as they were before.

You always hated Kevin Rudd, Swannie. Now you’re making him look sane.

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