Ladies and gentlemen — tonight we are going to witness the most hotly anticipated TV debate in history. In the red corner, aged 74 and weighing in at 250 pounds, the reigning champ, the tangerine typhoon, Donald J Truuuuump. In the blue corner, a challenger all the way from planet amnesia, the 77-year-old stuttering cyclone, Joe Robinette Bideeeeen.
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