Congratulations, President Harris (pronouns: she/her)! At last, the United States of Mutual Loathing will lead the world by having a female president, just like lots of other countries managed decades ago, and without making a dumb fuss or giving a patronizing lecture.

And thank you, Joe Biden (pronouns: he/c’mon man), for accepting the presidency on Kamala’s behalf on the kind of raw day when you should be indoors with a tartan blanket on your legs and the remote in your hand.