Flat White

Madonna: over the borderline

23 February 2021

3:05 PM

23 February 2021

3:05 PM

Madonna, terrified of dying from the plague, has taken the vaccine. And no, we are not talking about Covid-19. 

The Queen of Pop complained at the weekend that she was a victim of “the Patriarchy” – signalling that she should be protected from the woke plague currently sweeping the West cancelling all in its path.

“The Patriarchy continues to try to crush my neck with their heavy boots, cut off my life force and take away my voice,” she tweeted, in what sounded more like a struggle with old age than with men.

But before anyone could tell her, ‘Madge, the only Patriarchy you’re fighting is Father Time’, she continued: “DEATH TO THE PATRIARCHY! Now and Forever.”

It is a tactic as old as civilisation itself. “Don’t attack me. I’m one of the good guys!”

How else to explain one of the most successful entertainers of all time — worth a reported $850 million dollars and with mansions in multiple nations — whinging about being oppressed?

Death to the patriarchy? Madonna has nearly enough money to buy the patriarchy!

In an industry in which six of the 10 wealthiest singers are women, it’s hard to know exactly which patriarchy Madonna is imagining.

When the pop icon complains about being hard done by, you could well be forgiven for thinking ‘Who’s that Girl’?

But when the whole world is being divided into victims and oppressors, those at the very bottom of the supposed victim ladder kick and scream, hoping others will perceive them as having been hopelessly oppressed and so grant them immunity from being cancelled.

Harry and Meghan will tell you it’s the new vogue. Strike a pose, there’s nothing to it.

Madonna is an empowered woman who has manipulated men by exploiting her own sexuality in order to make squillions.

They can beg and they can plead
But they can’t see the light (that’s right)
‘Cause the boy with the cold hard cash
Is always Mister Right

‘Cause we are living in a material world
And I am a material girl.

Whatever patriarchy exists, the material girl has played them at their own game and won big.

But now she is just another oppressed sister, suffocating in her Lisbon mansion – or is it the Hollywood mansion, or the London Mansion, or the New York apartment? —  under the heavy boot of patriarchy.

The suffering that she has endured at the hand of the patriarchy is unconscionable. Imagine how many more homes Madonna would own if it wasn’t for men. Imagine how wealthy she would be if men would just let her be free to succeed.

Madonna’s complaint is ridiculous. We know it. She knows it.

Was it the patriarchy who suggested she offer oral sex to anyone voting for Hillary Clinton in 2016? (An oft-overlooked explanation for Clinton’s shock defeat.)

And why did the patriarchy wait until after 2017, when Madonna fantasised out loud about blowing up the Whitehouse, before trying to take away her voice?

Her ‘life force’, whatever that is, seemed just fine when only last year she released a video of herself in a milky bath sprinkled with rose petals opining about Covid-19 as someone played piano in the background.

Incidentally, the video now has 497,000 views, and counting. Not bad for a woman who has been silenced.

If the crushing jackboot of misogyny helps one to amass a billion-dollar fortune, give me a little of that encrushment I say!

Madonna is the best-selling female musician of all time. She publishes books, she has her own record label and she attracts a massive social media following.

She is not oppressed — and she knows it.

But just as no-one is going anywhere in the ‘new normal’ without a Covid vaccine, she understands that no-one is going anywhere in Woketopia without having first established their victim credentials.

And so Madonna is singing a new song …

Like a victim, hey

Oppressed for the very first time

Like a victim

With your heartache

Matched only by mine

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