Flat White

What’s woke this week?

13 February 2021

5:00 AM

13 February 2021

5:00 AM

Wokeworld really is a fairyland where all kinds of magical and amazing things happen. Its residents are the super-sensitive princesses spending sleepless nights posting on Twitter because of something uncomfortable buried under their layered feather beds of privilege. A bit like the sensitive princess in the tale of the Princess and the Pea. The woke’s favourite pea, racism, is again our focus this week.  

Horrible history-onics 

In Wokeworld you have two options for dealing with ‘problematic’ history: rewrite it or continually point out how really, really, really bad it is. In England, both options have been on display this week. 

Option One 

The Mayor of London, the impossibly woke Sadiq Khan, has far more important things to worry about than crime in his city. This week he unveiled a Commission on Diversity in the Public Realm to evaluate statues, street names, building names and memorials in the capital 

Fifteen commissioners were chosen through an ‘open recruitment process’ and will serve for two years and, I imagine, get paid a lot of money. The unelected, England-hating activists, artists, historians and actors who will decide the future of public monuments include an art critic who applauded the toppling of a statue of Edward Colston during BLM protests last year, and social rights activist Toyin Agbetu who famously interrupted the Queen at a ceremony marking the abolition of slaveryjustifying his actions with a piece in The Guardian that included this pearl: 

I went to the Queen and said that in the history of the Maafa [black genocide], the British are the Nazis. But where the Germans had the humanity and humility to apologise and make reparations for the Holocaust she, in not doing so, shames not only herself but her nation. 

Amazingly, nconservative British or imperial historians who might actually understand the context and history have been chosen for the big gig.  

What could go wrong? 

Option Two 

Historic England (the government body tasked with protecting the historic environment of England) conducted an audit of sites with links to the slave trade, prompted by Black Lives Matter protests — what else? The report was released this week and the results will disturb your woke sensibilities. 

Sleepy little English hamlets with cute names like Little Spittle are not the bucolic paradises you imagined. Oh, no! They are, instead, the demon seed of the ‘Tranatlantic slavery economy’.   

The woke can now virtuously boycott any number of village schools and halls built by someone with a tangential interest in the slave trade, and never darken the doors of delightful thatched Tudor pubs named after a businessman who once had tea with a slave trader. Most shockingly, the report revealed that there are village churches and churchyards where there are: 

[T]ombs, monuments and memorials of individuals and families made wealthy from associations with the Atlantic slave economy.  

Say it isn’t so! 

Some buildings now face delisting or the placement of contextual signage’. And for what purpose? 

The strategy is intended to make heritage appeal to the newly outlined priority audiences including: “People with Black, Asian or other Minority Ethnic heritage and people who identify as Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer +.”

Because feeding into the world view of the woke and denigrating the country’s history and achievements is clearly going to get them all on board. 

Glue ha-ha brouhaha

TikToker Tessica Brown hit the viral big time she’s presumably been craving this week when she sought advice via a TikTok video about her teensy hair problem. Well, who else would you turn to after spraying Gorilla Glue on your hair and being surprised that every single strand was still stuck (like glue, possibly) to your scalp after a month? 

No, it wasn’t a case of mistakenly applying the wrong product. When she ran out of hairspray she thought Gorilla Glue would be a useful replacement. Could happen to anyone, right?  

Of course, she received some nasty blowback on Twitter, especially when it was reported that she may sue Gorilla Glue, but then lawyer Exavier Pope weighed into the fray with the observation that  Surprise! Surprise!   it’s really all about the R word: 

I am going so hard for that BLACK woman because Black people are disproportionately impacted by being injured by products they buy to save money, cause you know, systemic inequality AND don’t have same access to redress injuries AND 85% lawyers are white. It’s all connected.

He added a shot across the bows of Gorilla Glue: 

Gorilla Glue, hair is NOT skin. Your product failed to adequately warn, knowing hair glue in fact exists and many Black women use hair glue as hair adhesive & for this, your company is liable.  

He was then outraged at the blowback he received from black women who were NOT stupid enough to use industrial grade adhesives on their hair and rightly saw this as a story of individual imbecility rather, labelling their responses ‘antiBlackness and elitism’ 

Brown says she doesn’t want to be known as the Gorilla Glue Girl, although the GoFundMe page she set up on the back of her ordeal is surprisingly, or not, tagged gorilla-glue-girl. To date she has raised almost $20,000, which she won’t now need because of a successful treatment (helpfully posted to social media) done for free by a cosmetic surgeon. 

Footy shorts 

Brisbane Broncos footballer Payne Haas this week escaped a conviction but was handed a three week suspension and the NRL’s toughest possible fine, $50,000, for his intimidation and abuse of a Queensland female police officer. And a good thing, too.  

A footballer behaving badly? Same old, same old, you might say. But it was the comments of the NRL’s chief gender adviser, Catherine Lumby, in the wake of the affair that were particularly interesting. 

With the usual ‘there’s no excuse… but… racism’ approach Lumby went full woke with; 

But there is a history in some communities of having multiple adverse encounters with police and they may respond different to police authority than someone from an Anglo background. I do think that we need to be aware of that.

And this from the woman whose job it is to improve the code’s ‘culture around women’. 

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