Channel Ten have announced that the next Bachelorette will be an indigenous bisexual woman, proving that crap television and inclusive television are not mutually exclusive.

Bisexual aboriginal Brooke Blurton will “make television history” when the show is aired later this year, according to Ten Network publicists.

No, not “television history” in a man lands on the moon kind-of-way. More in a brown queer girl who, having already featured as a contestant on the Bachelor, now stars in the Bachelorette kind-of-way.

(If you didn’t just get a shiver down your spine, you clearly don’t appreciate history)

Reacting to the historic announcement of the historic casting for the historic season of the Bachelorette, Macquarie University academic Amy Thunig said: “This is history-making stuff and the kind of representation that saves lives.”

Indeed.

“I was at the end of my rope and about to do myself in when I saw a First Nations bisexual trying to find love on reality TV and, suddenly, I knew life was worth living,” said no one, ever. 

Imagine your life being so bland and artificial that a brown person — of whom the most interesting thing that can be said is that she can’t decide whether to bed a man or a woman — being cast as a token diversity hire in a dating reality show is considered to be some kind of victory.

It does raise the question, though: have Channel Ten gone far enough?

After all, a bisexual is a pretty safe choice. Of all the letters in the LBGTQIA acronym, B is the most common. All the cool kids swing both ways these days. Yawn.

Are we really to believe that no indigenous trans or gender non-conforming people were available?

How will their lives be saved if they cannot see themselves represented in the few dregs that remain of commercial TV?

Do black pansexual lives not matter? 

And if the Bachelorette is to be a model of inclusivity, why isn’t she a size 18 or, even better, a size 20? And why isn’t she in a wheelchair? And why doesn’t she have Tourette syndrome? Where is their representation? We can play this game all day.

If Channel Ten wants to parade their diversity credentials, they should get back to us when the Bachelorette’s final rose ceremony features an Asian transgender Muslim wearing a Hijab, choosing a left-handed, cross-dressing homosexual Jew.

Until that happens, I don’t care how many indigenous bisexuals they beam into our living rooms, Australian television is nothing but an instrument of CIS gendered white supremacy.

Buzzfeed journalist Julia Willing reported: “Blurton identifies as bisexual, which means producers will be casting a mix of both men and women for her to woo — and we can only pray this step forward for diversity extends to the contestants too.”

Well, yes. Let us pray. 

“Dear Lord Jesus, we ask that you would direct the producers of this season’s Bachelorette to give their bisexual lead the choice of both men and women, with diverse sexual tastes …”

Wait. What?!

Scott Morrison may have closed the borders but the woke plague from America has made its way over here anyway and now infects everything – even the Bachelorette. 

As if we needed a reason not to watch.