The flailing Fauci fandom

5 June 2021

10:45 AM

5 June 2021

10:45 AM

Dr Anthony Fauci has exhibited plenty of behavioral red flags over the past year. Don’t believe me? Google ‘Fauci magazine covers’. The results say it all. My favorite was an InStyle cover from last July where the ‘The Good Doctor’ was posing by a pool. The Daily Beast described the cover in slobbering detail: ‘His black rimmed square sunglasses reflect a sun ray back into the camera’s eye. His blue and white button-up is undone at the neck and his jeans fit tight. It’s as if Fauci is playing Daniel Craig playing Roger Stone in an inevitable biopic.’ Can we get a wellness check on these writers, who are drooling over an elderly bureaucrat sitting in a folding chair wearing Dwight Schrute-style sunglasses?

These Fauci-focused glossies, whether it is InStyle or People or TIME, all have something in common. The 80-year-old Fauci always has a smug smile on his face as he gazes into yet another photographer’s lens. You can almost hear him thinking to himself, I can’t believe they are buying this. To be fair, a lot of us weren’t.

Conservatives all experienced different breaking points with Tony. My moment came sometime before his cringeworthy interview with Rachel Maddow but long after his horrendous pitch on Opening Day. Now that FOIA’d emails are exposing Dr Fauci’s duplicity, more elitists in the media are getting cold feet about their knight in shining armor.

But most of Fauci’s biggest whoppers didn’t need to be exposed in his email correspondence. In fact, he openly admitted to lying to the American people on multiple occasions. He told the New York Times that he moved the goal posts on herd immunity because of ‘his gut feeling that the country is finally ready to hear what he really thinks’. It wasn’t the only noble lie our dear leader told us.

When Sen. Rand Paul’s suggested the fully-vaccinated Fauci was only wearing a mask as a matter of theater, the doctor vehemently denied the claim. But a few weeks later Fauci told Good Morning America that had kept wearing a mask because he ‘didn’t want to look like I was giving mixed signals’. It was all an act, none of it based on science — all of it based on optics.

But why did it take liberals so long to catch on to Fauci’s con-job? Ultimately they didn’t want to. The Democrats, as Bonnie Tyler once sang, need a hero. They are holding out for a hero ’til the end of the night. They are looking for someone — anyone — who will fight the ghost of 45. Liberals will deify any vocally anti-Trump public figure in an attempt to fill the void. And they do it with the fervor of a scorned ex.

The Democrats’ string of spite relationships, from President Michael Avenatti to the creepy Lincoln Project grifters, have left a lot to be desired. Joy Reid, Brian Stelter and Joe Scarborough fall head over heels in love every damn time. This guy is a keeper, they think to themselves. This is the Trump hater who is going to go the distance. 

Unfortunately, these Democrats are always left with broken hearts. Oh — and a bunch of crappy memorabilia from Etsy. During the Russian hoax, the Trump-Deranged Collusion Crew bought Robert Mueller prayer candles and portraits. In the middle of the COVID-19 pandemic, the Luv Guv’s stans purchased copies of American Crisis: Leadership Lessons From the COVID-19 Pandemic (at least, about 12 of them did). Later, the Dr Fauci fan club forked over money to buy throw pillows with the physician’s face printed on them.

Now these relics of failed relationships are shoved in a box, sitting at the bottom of a closet, collecting dust. How many grade-A losers do these anti-Trumpers have to endure before they realize they need to change up their priorities? The endless search for a savior who is going to avenge Orange Man isn’t working and it never has. Maybe it’s time to go back to the drawing board and rethink the old dating profile. Because clearly ‘Must Hate Trump’ is not yielding any winners.

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