New Zealand Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern has come out and asked the Taliban to be ‘nice’ to women during this period of upheaval. 

‘Of course!’

The Taliban have been brutalising women since their founding in 1994. Why didn’t anyone think to ask them to stop? We don’t need armies or weapons – just a timely press conference from a socialist dictator presiding over her prison state at the arse-end of the world. 

“The international community is calling on the Taliban to demonstrate a willingness to allow people to leave, that includes foreign nationals,” said Ardern, giving the bearded desert terrorists her sternest glare.