Flat White

What’s woke this week?

27 August 2021

1:00 PM

27 August 2021

1:00 PM

Traditional circuses are out of favour in Wokeworld where three rings are clearly not enough for their intersectionality bazaar. It’s pretty crowded under their big top. The circles in this week’s victimhood Venn diagram include LGBTQ+ stories making a colourful return, children’s books contributing to domestic abuse, rape and sexual harassment, and the moving tale of a gender dysphoric bomber. 

As Donald J Trump, the 21st century equivalent of legendary showman P T Barnum, said only this week: “Everything woke turns to sh*t!”

You can get the T-shirt here 

Once more unto the breach…

While the scourge of racism has made black, well… the new ‘Black’, those twin horrors of homophobia and transphobia have been languishing out of the spotlight recently. Thank goodness that UK police forces and Southampton Football Club have stepped into the breach. 

Clown cars

Remember those crazy colourful cars in traditional circuses from which an impossible number of clown occupants emerged to laughter and applause? Well, the new rainbow ‘hate crime cars’ recently launched by UK police may look like that but no one is laughing at the number of clowns who have been packed into the National Police Chiefs Circus — sorry — Council.  

Wearing a clown suit, rainbow wig, red nose and oversized PC Plod shoes spokesperson Deputy Chief Constable Julie Cooke, the Council’s lead on LGBT issues said that the cars: 

[A]re there in the communities on normal policing patrol just to show the community that we want you to come forward… It is there to try and give confidence to our LGBT+ community, but also to other under-represented groups.

Okay, I made up that bit about the clown accoutrements, but perhaps there’s some merit in my idea. Imagine how many clown-fearing transphobes and homophobes could be scared into social media orthodoxy and pronoun submission with PC Pennywise on the job.  

Clown kit 

Before their match against Everton last week Southampton players took to the field for their warm-up clad in the world’s ugliest football jerseys, courtesy of Hummel, the team’s sponsor. The rainbow-on-‘roids shirt is a “mash-up of all flags recognized by the LGBTQ+ community”. 

Because nothing says ‘community’ like a gazillion different flags. 

Southampton’s Director of Marketing and Partnerships, Sarah Batters, said: 

We’re proud to stand alongside our partner, hummel, in the fight for inclusivity in football by sending a message that homophobia and transphobia has no place in our game. 

While the alphabet soup acronym gets longer (LGBPTTQQIIAA+ from recent sources) as all those currently constrained under that overworked plus sign insist on their own representation, and the list of gender identities and pronouns expands exponentially, it’s going to be interesting to see their ongoing commitment to the virtue-signalling show.   

At the very least they’re gonna need a bigger shirt.   

Tiger by the tail 

Zero Tolerance, a Scottish government-funded charity whose aim is to ‘end men’s violence against women’ has come up with a novel, and spectacularly woke, suggestion for achieving their goal.  

They would like ‘problematic’ children’s books removed from nurseries (the Scottish equivalent of pre-schools). And by problematic they mean books that portray ‘outdated’ gender stereotypes and ’old-fashioned’ family norms. Because these lead to — I kid you not — rape. 

Rachel Adamson, the organisation’s co-director, appeared on Scottish radio this week to discuss the results of a recent audit of ’inequality in children’s books’ in nurseries’ libraries. And the results were shocking. Shocking, I tell you! 

Out of what must be thousands of Scottish childcare providers, a huge number of respondents — oh, my bad, seems it’s only 21 — audited their book collections with the result that only 14% (3 out of 21) passed. Staggeringly: 

Many books portray a world that hasn’t changed since the 1950s, where only men work outside the home, and women are mothers and housewives or if they do have jobs, are restricted to caring and/or junior roles, such as teachers, nurses and secretaries.

Oh, you mean the ones that they ’re still overwhelming employed in? 

On radio Ms Adamson, like many a woke commentator, lurched to an outrageous conclusion through a string of unsupported statements as undisputed facts:  

We need to recognise these aren’t just stories. We know that gender stereotypes are harmful and they reinforce gender inequality, and that gender inequality is the cause of violence against women and girls, such as domestic abuse, rape and sexual harassment.

But she really took the tiger by the tail when she went after arguably the UK’s most loved children’s book, Judith Kerr’s 1968 classic, The Tiger Who Came to Tea.  

I know this will make a lot of people unhappy, but one of the books is The Tiger Who Came to Tea… Judith Kerr is a wonderful author. However, it is reflective of a society that we need to think more closely about.

I think the society we need to think more closely about is the one in which we deride imaginative, joyful, charming, timeless tales and instead only value books if they are pushing social justice agendas and ‘smashing stereotypes’, like the ones on the recommended reading list of the Global Equality Collective.  

I just know you can’t wait to buy your kids Julian is a MermaidPride: the Story of Harvey Milk and the Rainbow Flag (yes, it’s for kids) and My Two Dads and Me, classics for the woke millennium.   


A US prisoner has proven Benjamin Franklin’s assertion that “he who is good for excuses is seldom good for anything else”. Forget “the dog ate my homework” or “the devil made me do it”. They’re so 20th century. Emily Claire (formerly Michael) Hari really upped the ante on dodging personal responsibility.  

Hari organised and executed the 2017 bombing of a Minnesota mosque, along with two other members of his White Rabbit white supremacy group. But Hari, who has already been found guilty of the crime, has asked for leniency in sentencing 

Why? Well, according to Hari, gender dysphoria made me do it! Well, that and some good old right wing misinformation. 

Hari’s defence attorney Shannon Elkins blamed the usual suspects: 

Hari was influenced by misinformation and conspiracies published by right-wing blogs like Breitbart, World Net Daily and Jihad Watch, and amplified by unnamed elected officials.

Elkins described Hari as: 

[A] misunderstood ‘pacifist’ who lived peacefully in Anabaptist communities around the world among other cultures. She is not a ‘White Nationalist,’ a ‘Neo Nazi,’ a ‘Skinhead,’ a ‘Boogaloo Boi,’ nor part of the ‘Arian [sic] Brotherhood.

No, he’s just a very naughty boy. 

Hari has also asked to be placed in a women’s prison.  

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