Flat White

If we’re at 70 per cent can we now end the pandemic of premiers’ press conferences?

24 October 2021

12:00 PM

24 October 2021

12:00 PM

We have endured countless days and weeks of lockdowns, lockups, mask mandates, border closures and border openings. We have weathered the perfect storm of almost constant political hectoring about the unvaccinated, the unmasked, the undistanced social gatherings mixed with liberal amounts of violence by the police who have lost that gentleness that a civilian police force requires for public respect and become little more than the governments’ bodyguard. And what about the ever-changing vaccination targets set by those well-protected premiers: first 50% vaccinated, then 70% now 80% double vaccinated, soon the booster. 

But who can forget the most annoying event of all; those endless, useless, self-preening individual press conferences of our beloved Prime Minister, the state premiers (read Andrews, Berijeklian, McGowan and Palaszczuk) with and without their chief medical officers, appearing daily on a television station near you, to tell us the good news (for them) — there were X new cases today so we shall continue to imprison you for your own good – and the bad news (for us) that there were X new cases today so there will be another lockdown with social distancing, mask-wearing and limits on numbers at your funeral, just you and the man who lights the fire. 

Another annoying aspect of this pandemic, has been the servile reporters who, having done no research on the science of the virus or the defects in the same, were obliged to ask, when they asked anything, leading questions such as, “Do you think more people will die if they do not wear masks?” and, “What do you have to say to the idiots who won’t socially distance?” 


A couple of days ago, however, it finally sank in: the real reason for this eighteen-month reign of medico/political terror … but first a question: who is the Leader of the Opposition in your State and where did he/she last hold a press conference? 

You are doing well if you remember their names, considering that they have barely graced a newspaper front page or prominent place on your television screen for much of the pandemic period. During that time, those loving, caring Premiers have been ever so determined to not only save your life but to tell you about how they save your life every night of every week (other than euthanasia); and they do it all at the public expense. 

What we thought was an eighteen-month pandamic catastrophe was actually an eighteen-month pandamic publicity bonanza for the governments: free front-page headlines, free television advertising every day and night of the week and with no critical journalistic comment, no opposition, while protected from difficult questions by a scientific shield impervious to even superman’s vision. 

That is, until Dominic Perrottet cut the Gordian knot and upended their apple cart to provide NSW with their freedom, thus forcing the Pharoah Premiers, loudly protesting, to set their people almost free. 

It seems that we do get the governments we deserve, no matter what we try to do. What will they do next for free publicity? Rumour has it that some States are planning to fine the parents of every newborn in 2021 for disobeying the social distancing orders

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