Flat White

Adam Bandt has billionaires on the brain

19 February 2022

7:00 AM

19 February 2022

7:00 AM

Greens Leader Adam Bandt is that whiny girl on the Brady Bunch who constantly complains, ‘Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!’ except that he cries, ‘Billionaires, Billionaires, Billionaires!!!’

Where jealousy drove Jan to be fixated on her older sister, the Green-eyed monster drives Mr Bandt to obsession with those wealthier than him.

Writing in The Australian this week, Mr Bandt blamed every conceivable ill on Australia’s billionaires.

Billionaires don’t pay their fair share of taxes. Billionaires receive unfair handouts. Billionaires increase their wealth during pandemics. Billionaires are favoured by the Liberal Party. Billionaires are the reason you were late to work this morning. Okay, I made that last one up, be Mr Bandt might as well have said it.

‘Billionaires, billionaires, billionaires!’

Mr Bandt is so fixated on billionaires that he mentioned them 12 times in a 15-paragraph article. For context, he mentioned ‘climate’ five times, ‘coal’ just twice, and the ‘environment’ once.

The real enemy, you see, is Scrooge McDuck.

The Greens would you have call to mind all your woes while harping with them, ‘Billionaires, billionaires, billionaires!’

The problem with Australia are those successful entrepreneurs who take enormous risks to create wealth and, in the process, employ tens of thousands of Australians while providing much-needed services – bastards!

But fear not. If you elect the Greens at the next federal election, Mr Bandt will slug it to the wicked billionaires. (Right before he hammers the annoying middle class. We’ll get to that in a moment.)

‘The Greens will push a new billionaires tax,’ Mr Bandt wrote triumphantly. ‘That’s the only wealth tax we’ll be pushing. A big, new six per cent tax on billionaires’ wealth.’

How wonderful life would be if billionaires did not exist. Instead of working for major corporations, we could work for the government on communal farms. Others could work in state-run factories. And still more could work as fact-checkers at the ABC.

The rest of us could work for the big new bureaucracy that would be required to annually assess who the billionaires are, value every item they own, and levy them with Mr Bandt’s big, new six per cent tax.

Stealing from, er, taxing the wealth of billionaire boogey men will pay for the Green’s imagined Utopia in which everything is free and where school leavers can aspire to ‘just smoke weed for a year or two’.

According to the 2021 Financial Review’s Rich List there are 111 billionaires in Australia. So the Green’s entire policy platform is based on taxing 111 people.

Of course, the problem with getting your policy ideas from fairies at the bottom of the garden is that reality is rarely factored in. Mr Bandt is so busy making snow money angels with the $40 billion he expects to pickpocket from billionaires each year that it never occurs to him they will simply take their wealth – along with their businesses and many of our jobs – elsewhere.

The sinister billionaires will be disappeared; banished by Bandt, the man who has zero business experience and who has never employed anyone.

With all that economic activity gone, the Greens will then be free to set about creating their Looney Land utopia in which solar panels we cannot afford power all the businesses we no longer have.

But rest assured, Mr Bandt promised, ‘We won’t be going after everyday people like the Liberals do, but instead make big corporations and billionaires pay their fair share and rein in their unfair handouts.’

Ah yes, use the language of envy to demonise big business and ‘billionaires, billionaires, billionaires’.

And then, when Adam Hood and his band of Merry Watermelons fail to raise the revenue to pay for their socialist wet dreams, they will simply widen the shakedown to include the middle class.

Only a fool believes that they can vote for others to be slugged with a wealth tax while expecting it will never be imposed upon them.

Mr Bandt concluded his piece in The Australian by claiming that Federal Treasurer Josh Frydenberg, whose seat of Kooyong will be hotly contested at the next election, is ‘terrified’ of a Green’s victory.

Mr Bandt, 92 per cent of Australia is terrified!

You can follow James on Twitter. You can order his new book Notes from Woketopia here.

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