[Calm down, it’s satire.]
Labor leader Anthony Albanese has promised to say anything anywhere in order to win the upcoming federal election.
Speaking to enthusiastic supporters at a meeting hastily moved to a Canberra phone box to contain the burgeoning crowd, Mr Albanese promised he would govern ‘like Jesus’ if elected.
‘And if Jesus is not your guy, then I promise to be Mother Teresa or Abraham Lincoln or literally anyone you like,’ he said with a dazzling smile, courtesy of new teeth ordered especially for the election.
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