Well, it’s finally here. After five months of waiting, Sue Gray has today released her report into the parties that went on in Downing Street during Covid. Her 60-page report is currently being poured over by hacks, spinners and MPs across parliament, ahead of Boris Johnson’s appearance at Prime Ministers’ Questions today. But initial attention has focused on the nine pictures which Gray released as part of her inquiry, of the many more images that were reportedly taken of the lockdown shindigs.

And the early conclusion is one of surprise at just how anodyne the gatherings seem to be, in light of the frenzied speculation about what they would depict. Far from Bacchanalian orgies that resemble the last days of Rome, they look like the kind of awkward office gatherings most of us despise. Steerpike will leave it to his readers to judge whether the images below show a party that anyone would actually want to be at…