Joe Biden has had a lot to worry about lately. First, according to his own account, he has cancer thanks to emissions from oil refineries near his childhood home in Delaware: “That’s why I and so damn many other people I grew up with have cancer and why for the longest time Delaware had the highest cancer rate in the nation.”

A White House spokesman later clarified that Biden had had “non-melanoma skin cancers” removed before he took office, though that doesn’t explain why he claimed he has cancer now.

Apparently he’s contracted Covid too.