Here’s a jolly thought to start the year: humanity is on its way to extinction due to a drastic decline in sperm counts. Men’s reproductive health is in such a parlous state that it won’t be long until nobody can conceive a child unassisted.

That, anyway, is the argument that’s become a perennial: every year or so – most recently just at the end of 2022 – a new sperm-counting study emerges and reignites the fears that we’re biologically condemned to extinction.